EP102 Afraid of Making Mistakes? Here’s The Cure

If you have a nasty habit of beating yourself up for “mistakes,” or find yourself in analysis paralysis over the daily decisions we have to make on this journey, the shift in perspective I will teach in this episode, can be the cure.

Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 102. Afraid of making mistakes? Here’s the cure. Hey loves, well, there is no mistake in it. We are full speed into 2021. Can you believe it? I thought I’d check in and see how those New Year’s resolutions are going.

You know, those commitments you might have made at the beginning of the year? Oh yeah, those things. Now, if you have fallen off the wagon, or perhaps even forgot what you committed to, don’t freak out. Don’t beat yourself up. We are going to talk about something way smarter than that. And we are going to have some nerdy fun in the process as lovably type a women with a tendency toward perfectionism.

We have a nasty pattern of utterly torturing ourselves if things are not exactly right. Sometimes this tendency prevents us from doing things we need to do because we fear not doing them correctly the first time. At times, this even prevents us from asking for help. Because we’re laboring under the ridiculous notion that asking for help means you are incompetent across the board.

Now, I can tell you that on my own journey, I would tell myself, I graduated summa cum laude, I have a law degree, I Whitkened an expert in scientific evidence in law school, I passed the toughest California bar in 20 years. I can figure this fertility shit out. I don’t need any help with the way I think.

It’s perfectly fine. Now I did all that even though I lived in a mental shit pit for years. It’s utterly laughable how we make the foolish extrapolation that our education and experience should make us mistake proof. Mistake proof. It’s un fucking believable. Can you hear the thundering self sabotage in all of that?

Can you hear the inherent ridiculousness in the idea that we should all be above making mistakes? It’s absolutely ridiculous. Somewhere along the line, we picked up the dream stealing notion that we can’t make mistakes or that our mistakes can be so costly that utter perfection is required to be victorious, both in our lives and on this journey.

This pressure is paralyzing. On a daily basis, this idea turns otherwise driven, focused women into quivering masses of indecisive jelly. Today, we are going to do our part to unfuck that situation and open you up to an entirely different reality. Today, I’m going to help you cure your fear of making mistakes.

To help you understand the cure for this useless state, I want to share a portion of a speech given by an American president that I find utterly fascinating, Teddy Roosevelt. He delivered this speech at the Sorbonne in Paris on April 23, 1910. The speech is quite long, but don’t worry, I’m only going to be sharing the part that applies to our topic today.

It’s titled Citizenship in a Republic. I chose this because it beautifully conveys the idea that I want you to grasp when it comes to making quote unquote mistakes. I am a word nerd, so I also love the language. Here goes. It is not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles.

Or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errors, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, Who spends himself in a worthy cause, who, at the best, knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, At least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Shame on the man of cultivated taste who permits refinement to develop into fastidiousness that unfits him for doing the rough work of a workaday world. Among the free peoples who govern themselves, there is but a small field of usefulness open for the men of cloistered life who shrink from contact with their fellows.

Still less room is there for those who deride of slight what is done by those who actually bear the brunt of the day. Nor yet for those who always profess that they would like to take action, if only the conditions of life were not exactly what they actually are. The man who does nothing cuts the same sordid figure in the pages of history, whether he be a cynic or a fop or voluptuary.

There is little use for the being whose tepid soul knows nothing of great and generous emotion, of the high pride, the stern belief, the lofty enthusiasm of the men who quell the storm and ride the thunder. Well for these men if they succeed, well also, though not so well, if they fail, given only that they have nobly ventured and have put forth all their heart and strength.

It is war worn Hotspur, spent with hard fighting, he of the many errors and valiant end, over whose memory we love to linger, not over the memory of the young lord, who, but for the vile guns, would have been a valiant soldier. Man, I love those words. Arrgh! What Teddy Roosevelt is really saying here is there are winners and there are posers.

But winning isn’t determined by the immediate outcome. It’s by having the guts to be in the arena to do the work. There is no shame in making mistakes. The shame, if there was going to be any, is in not trying. Strive, be enthusiastic, be willing to try new things. If you’re going to spend your life on anything, let it be for the shit you dream of.

Get off the sidelines and be the woman who dared greatly. Not one of the sheep who neither know victory nor defeat, as President Roosevelt says. Think about the people you know in your life who literally strive for nothing. Nothing. Do you really want that life? You desire to be a mom. How can any noble action you take in furtherance of that be a quote unquote mistake?

Look, if you are listening to this podcast, this podcast, baby, you aren’t like everyone else. Put your shoulders back, stand up straight, and recognize that every day you are on this journey, you are like a fucking gladiator. Feeling the crunch of the gravel under your sandal as you enter the arena. You may be tired, it may seem like shit never ends, but you stand for something, mama.

You aren’t up for milquetoast, excuse laden bullshit. The title you are going for is Mom, and you aren’t leaving without it. For this reason, my darlings. You must decide. Decide. That your mistakes are simply choices that gave you information, information that is leading you in a new direction. That’s all.

When you grasp and apply this concept, you will never see making mistakes. Quite in the same way again, you give yourself the freedom to experiment, to try new things, explore new ventures, knowing that no mistake is fatal, unless you make it so. You have a brain, and with that brain, you alone, Get to decide what any mistake means.

Listen to that speech multiple times if you have to. But it really speaks to the power that we have in each and every one of us to take a stand for something. And to really value efforts that we make in the direction of our dreams. Because if you make mistakes, Like unlivable. If you make yourself into somebody who absolutely cannot make a mistake, you won’t make any forward action.

Making mistakes as part of the human condition and to hold yourself to a standard of no mistakes is absolutely crushing not only to your soul, but it is going to have you living beneath. Your potential and there is nothing more heartbreaking than a woman not living to her potential Especially when her dream is as noble as that of being a mom This my darlings is the cure for your fear of making mistakes And here’s an exercise to take this to the next level be the woman in the arena Embrace your mistakes Step one.

What is the relationship you choose to have with the mistakes you’ve made in the past? Really think about this question. Really be present and use your brain. Think about your answer to this question. What is the relationship you choose? to have with the mistakes you’ve made in the past to get out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of it.

And on one side, write down three quote unquote mistakes you want to make peace with. And they can be anything. It can be mistakes you’ve made on this journey or quote unquote mistakes you’ve made at work or in other aspects of your life, but just pick three and put those three mistakes. I always say that in quotation marks because it’s always debatable whether or not they’re actually mistakes, but put those on one side of the page and on the other side of that line, you’ve drawn down the middle of the page, write down exactly why that mistake was a blessing.

It may be hard for you to do that. If you are willing to see the blessing, you will see that each one of our quote unquote mistakes is actually a gift in disguise. That will also help you cure your fear of making mistakes. And third, if you love this podcast and the free content I provide every single week, rain or shine, baby, one of the best ways to show your appreciation is to take a moment right now while you’re listening and give this podcast a five star review.

And also if you know somebody that could be lifted up by it, tag them, send it over to them, send them the link and tag me on your social media. I would love to know that this work is having an impact on your life. And love. Look, this journey is not easy. There isn’t a day that goes by while you are on it that you are not being invited to step into their arena.

But what makes all the difference in the world is what you think and believe about it. Your thoughts and beliefs are shaping your actions and therefore your results. There are no two ways about it. Your mindset can be the difference between victory and defeat. Step into the arena with your mind working for you.

My Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind, and body, so you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com. And apply for an interview there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Step into the arena. Well equipped, my darling, let’s fix that shit and set you up for success.

Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.