EP107 Excuses Are Your Decoder Ring

We all make excuses, but did you know that our excuses are like a decoder ring? They tell us a lot about ourselves AND the blocks that threaten to stand between us and our babies.

Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 107. Excuses are your decoder ring. Hey loves, woo wee! On the heels of a super challenging series on boundaries, I thought we’d change gears a bit and have a little fun with a topic I love having fun with, excuses.

Ah, excuses. Excuses are the stink we all have. I think what makes them so interesting is we all have them, we all make them, and by and large they are embarrassingly socially acceptable. Excuses, simply put as I see them, are basically explanations or justifications we use to do or not do something. Now, what makes them different and frankly more insidious than your average explanation or justification is the maker of the excuse at some level knows it’s bullshit.

And more often than not, so does the receiver of the excuse. That’s one of the reasons why I find excuses so incredibly fascinating. It’s like, we know we are full of shit, the person we are imposing our excuse upon knows we are full of shit, and for some reason we allow being full of shit to be perfectly acceptable.

What’s even more interesting is even if the person making the excuse is kind of convinced of their own excuse, like, they still get it energetically that they’re full of shit. So they know it feels weird, and you know it feels weird. You know when you’re making an excuse. Like, you totally fucking know when you’re making an excuse.

So even if it sounds perfectly reasonable, there is going to be alarm bells that are going to be like these loud screaming alarm bells inside of you that are going off because you fucking know you are making an excuse. Now going back to the other part of my main point is that it’s like excuses are a form of an acceptable lack of integrity.

Excuses are a crutch that we use to not have to own up to our truth. which includes our shortcomings. It’s crazy. Excuses are like a big ol cover up. And then, we look around and wonder why we aren’t getting the results we want in our lives. We don’t need an engineer from SpaceX to help us figure that out.

It’s us! Excuses come in a colorful variety of shapes and sizes. All varying in volume and drama. The other funny thing about excuses is they are often cloaked in an air of unimpeachable veracity. Delivered in such a way as to make the receiver of the excuse some kind of imbecile, if they have the audacity to question it.

Excuses can be a manipulative and gross art form of sorts. What are the most prevalent excuses we make across the board? Drumroll, please. money, time, and it’s either too hard or too much work. Now, remember what I said earlier about the nature of excuses. We tend to deliver them in such a way that they are insurmountable, when for the most part, that’s a crock of shit.

This is absolutely true of all of these two prevalent excuses of time, money, and it being too hard slash too much work. The paper tiger nature of these excuses is exposed when you ask a simple question. How bad do you want it? When you want something bad enough, you’ll find the money. When you want something bad enough, you’ll make the time when you want something bad enough, you will do the work.

The question is always, are you willing to get the fuck out of your comfort zone in the name of getting what you want? Are you willing to get the fuck out of your comfort zone in the name of getting what you want. Or, will you allow your excuses to steal the dream? Another interesting facet of excuses is they, by their very nature, make us small.

To make an excuse, you have to make yourself small, powerless, and a victim. It’s like saying, I have no control over my money, I have no control over my time, and I can’t control my level of determination to do the work. Bullshit. When you think about what that’s really saying, it’s like you’re saying you have no control over you.

Yikes! That’s a scary proposition, and it’s patently untrue. When you make excuses about money, time, and things being too hard, What you are really saying is I’m afraid to move beyond the stories I tell myself about money, time, and things being hard. Excuses deny the truth that choice exists in any given situation.

You have the choice to reinforce those stories or create a different belief. A belief based on whole truth, not the stories of your saboteur. At the heart of all excuses is fear. What do we know about fear? It will block you from the success you desire. Here’s why being aware of your excuses is critical.

Your excuses are the decoder ring for the ways in which you will self sabotage. If you know your excuses, you will know exactly what stands between you and your dream. Plain and simple. We are creatures of patterns and habits. Until you break your negative patterns and habits, you will repeat them and therefore repeat lackluster results.

Then continue to make the same old excuses and the cycle of misery continues. Excuses are self perpetuating as well. So if you don’t have an objective observer watching for them, it’s really easy for them to get their clutches right back into you. I get that from where you might stand today, the things you use as excuses may seem insurmountable.

But again, that is simply not true. Every day there are people who are fucking destitute, whose future seems grim, with few options, who say, no money? Roger that motherfuckers, let’s go! And they get creative. They figure it out and thrive. There are single moms out there who work full time jobs and manage to get degrees on top of being both mom and dad.

They make the time to create a better future for their families. They find the time, not make excuses. There are people who come to the United States with nothing but the clothes on their back, who come here to work? Who choose to contribute, who choose to give, not take, who simply want a fair shake on the path to earning their dream.

They could make excuses, but they don’t. This isn’t about a competition to see who is more miserable or whose problems are more valid. I’m coming from the perspective that if you have a desire in your heart, it is there because it was meant for you. And it’s up to you to be stubborn enough to keep fighting for it, insisting upon it, and nurturing it.

In the end, making excuses, big or small, is about refusing to take responsibility for choices. and their consequences. Oh, I know I’m going to be rattling some cages with that one. Nonetheless, if you’re willing to get down to brass tacks, you know, it’s true. Think about how different life would be if instead of making excuses, you just told the truth and took responsibility for it.

When you speak truth, you give yourself a fighting chance to break the pattern of self sabotage that could presently. trapped. Instead of using the money excuse, you might say, I’m committed to doing X, Y, Z. I am finding the money. I’m going to figure this shit out. Money unlike time is a renewable resource.

I’m not letting it get in my way. And I am a grown woman with resources and I’m going to use them. I’m scared because this is different, but my dream matters enough for me to be scared and do it anyway. Instead of making the time excuse, You might say, I make time for the things that matter to me. I don’t care what anyone says.

I have all the time in the world. I treat my desire to be a mom as mission critical, and I’m going to figure this out. I’m scared because this is different, but my dream matters enough for me to be scared. Instead of using the it’s too hard excuse, you might say, I come from a long line of women who had it way harder than me.

They would have given anything to have the kind of freedom and choices I have today. Nothing is too hard for me, and I don’t quit for shit. I’m scared, because this is different. But my dream matters enough for me to be scared and do it anyway. The reason why I’m taking the time to call out excuses is because the lack of integrity that is inherent in excuses is one of the poisons that disempowers us on this journey, and frankly, in just about every aspect of our lives, that we make excuses.

Excuses are weak. Excuses are lame and they always catch up with you. Here’s a novel thought. When you tell the truth, you give people, the people you care about, a chance to see what’s true for you. Rather than hiding your truth in lies or excuses. They’re kind of the same. Truth will set you free so you can be, do, have, and give all you desire in this life.

And what’s better, you won’t teach your kids to make excuses either. One last thing before I share the super important exercise for the week. I want you to know that I used to make all of these nasty excuses too. Which is why I know so much about them. And why I know that you too can overcome them.

Excuses aren’t worthy of you, doll. Gotta be smarter than that. So here’s an exercise to take our discussion to the next level. Make a list of your excuses. Step one, make a list of your top five excuses. Step two, take a good long look at them. Because if you want to know the stories that will steal your dream on this journey, and frankly any other aspect of your life, you now have a list.

You want to know what will stand between you and your dream? It’s this bullshit right here. It’s that shit on your list! Plain and simple. It’s one thing to know your excuses. It’s another to have the tools, strategies, and confidence to no longer allow them to stand in your way on this journey. Quit making excuses and get on with the business of making your dreams come true.

It’s fucking why you’re here. On this planet at this time, my fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body. No excuses. I work with women who are committed to success to apply for your interview for this program.

Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com. And apply for an interview there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Four in the past two weeks. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy.

Love, let’s fix that shit. And set you up for success. Don’t let the block between you and your baby. Be you. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.

When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.