EP108 A Dream Family, 15 Years In The Making

Could you be on your fertility journey for 15 years? Meet Robyn, one of the most tenacious and committed women I’ve met in my practice of coaching women to fertility success. Robyn will share what it took to have the family of her dreams and not lose herself, her marriage, or her faith in the process. Have your Kleenex ready! Its so good!

Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 108. A dream family, 15 years in the making. Oh my gosh. I’m so excited to be here with you this week because I got to tell you, I mean, again, this is a massive love fest because I just am so insanely proud of the women that I get to work with.

The past few weeks have just been an absolute baby boom. And as a coach and observer, I just delight in the transformation. That women make when they make a decision to live their dream. And I want to riff on that just a bit because if you have maybe been through some crazy shit in the past, you know, couple of weeks on your journey or even over the past couple of months or years that you’ve been on it, we’ve got to really solidify in your mind how brave You are to put your hand up and say, this is in my heart.

I’m going for it. It is truly an extraordinary thing. It’s extremely uncommon for people to say, I have a dream. I don’t really care what anyone else thinks about it. I’m going for it. For you to be on this journey in the face of crazy statistics past quote, unquote failures and all the insane stuff that we go through on this journey, you have to know that you’re courageous as fuck.

And I really want to honor that in you right now, as you’re listening to this, because this week’s interview with one of my amazing miracle mamas is a story of courage. It’s truly a story of extraordinary courage. And commitment to a bigger vision and some of you. I mean, this, this woman is like a legend.

It, it, it, it’s just crazy. Cause when you hear her story, I’m telling you, she could have given up in, in so many different ways, because one of the things that was true in Robin’s story is. She had been trying for, I believe it was 10 years before she had her son. And you know, the typical way that we go about this as a, Oh, you know, just stop you.

You, you’ve been trying for 10 years. You got your son. That should be enough. But Robin is going to be sharing how she knew in her heart, there was another baby coming. And I think that this is something that all of us need to hear because it’s really easy to say, okay, well, You know, people dealing with secondary fertility issues.

Well, you should just be happy, right? You, you at least have one. That is one of the most heartbreaking things that we can do to each other on this journey. If we aren’t careful, a lack and scarcity mindset can turn big hearted, amazing women against each other and say, well, hey, people who already have kids and are struggling to have a second, well, their problems aren’t as big as mine because I don’t even have one.

That is some just divisive, crazy, misogynistic bullshit. And I really want to honor everyone who is listening. Whether you have not had a baby yet, or if you have children already, and your heart is aching because You want to have another one and anyone in your life is making you small or grabby Because you know you want more fuck all that okay, and and I really wanted to say that in the context of Robin’s interview because this woman dared to have it all and she is the epitome of what is fearless on this journey and I think that hearing her story is going to be such a blessing to everyone on this journey no matter what Aspect of the spectrum you are on.

So. Listen carefully to the transformation that Robin is going to be sharing and what and all of the lessons that she had to learn as a mom, as a woman, as a wife, and as a woman, really stepping in to the full expression of her dream of becoming a mom. There’s so many gifts here, whether you’re still working on baby number one, or if you’re looking to add to your family through the blessing of another miracle baby.

Let this interview be of the blessing that I know it will be to all of us. So here’s my conversation with the incredible Robin. Can you believe we’re having this moment? Oh my goodness. I have dreamed of this moment for a very long time. Oh my goodness. Me too. Well, we’re going to jump right in love. We’re just going to have our conversation because I mean, it’s so crazy to me.

Cause like when you really think about what we’re doing right now, this was, has been on your mind for a long time. Yeah. A really long time. I know I was looking back at the vision board that I made when Uh, of course I still look at it every day, but then I made at the beginning of the program, which was almost a, well, like nine months ago and I had right on there, I will be on Roseanne’s podcast.

I love, I love that and, and look, I mean, we’re going to totally get into how you made this manifest because you’re probably one of the most powerful. Like fifth dimensional manifestors like I’ve ever met. I mean, like you’re just ooze that, that power and we’ll get into that, but why don’t you start off by telling the ladies listening a little bit about how you found yourself on this journey?

Well, it started a long time ago. My husband and I started trying to get pregnant 15 years ago, so it has been a very long, long journey. And so for the first five years, we were still really young and we just were trying naturally and, you know, doing the acupuncture and the diets and all the fertility help that we could.

We finally went to a fertility clinic about five years in, so 10 years ago. And we had unexplained infertility, even though his sperm count was a little bit low, but still considered normal. So at that point we ended up doing IVF. So we did two rounds of IVF 10 years ago. And even though we ended up with about five embryos.

from that collective experience, I never got pregnant. We did use ICSI just to circumvent any sperm stuff. And I mean, it seemed like a no brainer, but I just never got pregnant. So that put me into a huge spin. Cause at that point, like five years in IVF to us felt like a last resort, like obviously with us being young and if we’re going to do that, like that’s going to work.

And so when even that didn’t work, we were completely. shattered, completely devastated. And I did not know where else to go. And at that point, the fertility doctors were like, well, if this is the result that we’ve had, like, I don’t know that anything will ever be any different. So that really put us into a lot of soul searching and, you know, asking more questions and just trying to figure out, try to get to the bottom of what was going on.

And so probably finally four years ago, we started working with a new fertility clinic and he suspected that the reason I wasn’t getting pregnant was immune related. And nobody had ever mentioned that before. He’s like, well, you’ve had healthy embryos, but you’ve never even had a positive pregnancy test.

So at this point we’re 11 years into our journey. And so his idea at that point was let’s do one more round of IVF with your own eggs. We’ll do XE. We’ll do the immunosuppressants and if that doesn’t work, well, then we’ll have to move on to donor eggs. We had ruled out genetic components. We had ruled out everything else.

So that’s what we did. And I had done a lot of healing at that point too, just on my own physical body and mental, emotional health. And I finally got pregnant for the first time with immunosuppressants and a round of IVF. So. We were over the moon. I mean, 11 years in, I can’t even explain to you what that felt like when we, at that point, we’re like, this may never happen for us.

It had been such a long time. So at the seven week ultrasound though, it was non viable. I had a blighted ovum pregnancy. So that was something that came completely out of left field. I was not expecting that. Like I thought once I finally got pregnant, I would just stay pregnant. So we had to go through a chemical miscarriage, but luckily we had two embryos left at that point.

So we did the immunosuppressants again. We transferred our best remaining embryo. And that’s when I got pregnant with my son, Blake. So he is almost four years old now. And that was just, I mean, at that point, I thought I had arrived, right? Like we had figured it out. We had cracked the code. We knew what the problem had been all of that time.

And we had this baby and my husband and I are 10 years apart. He’s 10 years older than I am. So at this point, like he was getting tired with this journey too. And I really wanted more children. Like I, you know, I was so. incredibly blessed to have the one. And there was a part of me and everyone would be like, well, you have one child that really should just be happy with that.

Right. You know, and there was a part of me that understood that, but yet my family just did not feel complete. And I really wanted another baby. So Chris was like, well, we have one embryo left. So when Blake was 18 months old, we transferred that remaining embryo with the same clinic with the immunosuppressants, the whole protocol.

And I got pregnant again, no problem. seven week ultrasound, another blighted ovum. And that was so devastating. I can still remember because at that point I was like, it’s over now. Like my husband with the age that he was at, he was like, I will not go through IVF again. And I was like, but we finally figured it out.

We finally cracked the code. This is the only way that I know to get pregnant. And, and, and. continue our family and you’re saying, no, like you’re done. And I get that. I mean, it’s at this point we were, oh my gosh, 13 years in to the journey. I understand. I just knew there was another baby there and I couldn’t imagine our family with just the three of us.

So at that point I was desperate to get pregnant again. And so I convinced him to do one more round of IVF. I was like, we, we know what we’re doing. And our doctor even said, he goes, well, Robin, we have the formula now. Like, it’s no problem. We’ll just do another round of IVF. So that’s what we did. So Blake was almost two.

We did another round of IVF. We did the immunosuppressant. We only had one embryo that looked really great on day three. And my doctor liked to do day three transfers. We did the transfer. On day five, six, they called me to tell me that none of the rest of the embryos had made it and I just spiraled like from that point on, I was, I could not pull my mind out of all the worst case scenarios, all the years of failure, like all of the times it hadn’t worked and I just completely spiraled.

And I remember. feeling like at that moment, it was already over and I hadn’t even had my pregnancy test yet and I just crawled into bed and could not get out. Like I was at the bottom of a hole and sure enough, that pregnancy did not work out. I didn’t get pregnant. And then at the end of that, I was like, it’s, it’s really over.

Like, you know, there’s no way he’ll do another round of IVF. It didn’t even work this time anyways. Like what was going on? And that was probably the darkest point of my whole journey. I would say like the entire journey where I felt like we were completely out of options and answers, but yet I knew our family wasn’t complete.

So it was that September, a couple of months after that, IBS failed, that I heard you on a podcast, another podcast that I was listening to. And when I heard you speaking, I was like. this woman is inside of my head and saying how I have felt on this journey. Like she really understands. She really gets it.

And so I started listening to your podcast. I read your book and I started doing that work. So I was like, yes, it’s the mindset piece. Cause I remember, you know, after that transfer, there was a point where I was like, I can’t do this again. I can’t do this, this pain. this torture, this weight, like that was, I think our 10th embryo transfer at this time in our journey.

And I was like, I can’t do this anymore. And I was right. I couldn’t do that that way anymore. Cause that was not working. That was shit. That was hell. And so listening to your podcast every week and reading your book, I was like, this woman has something for me. So we did a lot of healing over those next months.

And finally, Chris and I did a lot of soul searching and talking, and he finally agreed. He’s like, well, you know what? I won’t do IVF again, but I could do an IUI with immunosuppressants. And I was like, yeah, let’s try that. So I’m like, now I have hope again. There’s an answer. Like, maybe this will work. So we go to do the IUI with immunosuppressants.

Two days before our procedure, everything shuts down because of COVID. Everything. And I hit another low, like a huge low. And that was when I said to Chris at that point, I was like, my mindset is so shit. I was like, I need to work with this woman. I need to work with Roseanne. Like it’s time for me to, I need some help.

I need some coaching. All the things that I did before, all the things that got us to our pregnancy with Blake, they’re not enough. Like I, you know, all the pieces to the puzzle, like there’s something still missing here and I need help. I need, I need coaching. And that’s how I met you. And then the universe brought us together.

Wow. When I listen, because I mean, because I know your story, like I just get blown away listening to it again, because it is such a testament to who you are and, and frankly, who you have become. In order for us to be working with numbers like 11 years, 13 years, you know, all of these, you know, and, and I also love, I mean, because there, I think the bottom line, when we, when we’re first looking at your story is a story of a woman who clearly understood in her heart that there was more to her family than, than was immediately that could be seen because it was.

I think you raise a really good point is for those women out there listening that have a child and are struggling to have another one. That desire is just as valid as anyone who has yet to have a child like there’s this weird kind of maybe competitive is not the word it’s more or less like society tells us we should just be happy with what we have.

Which is such a silencing of the soul. It is, it is a catastrophe and travesty for people who fall into the trap of thinking that you should just, you know, there’s a difference between being ungrateful and grateful and desiring more. And what you’re talking about is being grateful and knowing in your soul, there’s more.

And that is gangster. Like that is real. That is when you know you’re in your purpose where you can say, yes. And I want, I have these amazing blessings and I want more like, I mean, think about who you had to be to stand by that. Yeah. And to be. allowed to feel that because it wasn’t just society. It was my husband who was saying to me, you should be grateful.

Look what we have. Look at our perfect son. And I would say to him, I was like, honey, I love our son so much that I just want more. Like I want another baby. I want another child. I want a sibling for him. Like. And I felt wrong for that, you know, so that was a big part of our work together. And then hearing the other women on the calls who were, some of them were trying for a second baby, but it was okay to want that.

And that just because you were so blessed, didn’t mean you got no more blessings. And I remember you always saying like the universe has deep pockets. This is okay. And it’s just, it’s just more love. I was like, I want more love in our life. I want. More and allowing that to be okay was huge, like learning how to receive that was huge because there was a big part of me that just felt like I should just be shut up and be fucking grateful for what I already had, you know, and especially when it was so much work and so hard to get there.

It wasn’t like I just got pregnant by accident one day and I could like sneak it in there and nobody would have to question that. And you know, then I could just be like, Oh gosh, no, we’re just so blessed. That was not our story. . We needed the IVF. We needed the work we needed. I said to Chris, I was like, our children are so intentional, like we have to commit to wanting them every single day to get them here.

Like it was a huge commitment to getting our kids here, you know? And that was that like the Y had to be so big that we were, that for me, I was willing to do whatever it took to get us there. Yeah, and I think, you know, and it’s interesting because your story also encompasses this idea that there is a recipe, right?

Like, and I love, I love the way that you said, you know, we crack the code, but I think you’re, you’re demonstrating. Is that to get Blake here was one series of behaviors and one way of being, but to get baby number two here was going to ask you to level up. Yeah. Like, cause I’ve seen Blake, you make beautiful babies.

You make these adorable babies. So what is it? So let’s talk about like that idea of having, you know, being invited to this next level. Like Talk about that because you were someone who, you know, this, this kind of work was not completely foreign to you, but you had to be willing to be pushed and you had to be willing to be open.

So let’s talk about that. Like, yes, different this time. Well, first of all, I was completely blindsided by the fact that I had to level up to have this second baby. Because I thought I had arrived. I had done so much work to get to Blake. I was like, ugh, we are here now. Like, oh my gosh, my journey, of course.

My journey was so long because look at the person I had to become to become Blake’s mother. I thought I was done. Oh, we’re never done, sister. No. Like And so, I mean, it’s so funny in retrospect because, of course, I wasn’t done. Like, this is a completely different person. This is a different soul. And of course I had to continue to grow and stretch to become this person’s mother.

So the thing that I had to do and that, that I, the biggest thing that I learned from you was how to reprogram my automatic mental responses to things. So because of 15 years of trauma, 15 years of, of certain results and like period after period, like never having a positive pregnancy test of 15 years, except for those few IVF transfers, I was so programmed for failure.

And when I was working with you, it was the repetition and the repetition of the positive affirmations of, of, you know, being able to trust in my body, trust in this baby, trust in Gus. I had to have that repeated week after week and like working through all of the modules in that first program. I was tired.

Like I had to dig deep. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted just because it was such hard work to reprogram what was so automatic for me. And I didn’t even know. I’m a pretty positive person. But when it came to this journey, I had so little faith in my body’s own abilities. And, and even just that, like, you know, Knowing that this next child was coming, I had such faith in that.

And, and I mean, even through my own meditations, she had showed me she was a girl. She had given me her name. So I’d been connecting with her on that level, but there was still that subconscious part of me that was like, is this ever going to happen? So through the repetition of our work together, that is what made the biggest change for me.

And it got to the point. where I started thinking in your voice, you know, where I would have these, these, I’d be like, well, Roseanne would say X, Y, Z, or I would have these responses that became automatic. And it was so exciting. And it was such a huge change. And my husband noticed a huge change because finally, I remember We finally did get, like, they opened up our clinics again, and we did finally get to do the IUI with immunosuppressants.

That was at the end of our eight week program that I did with you, but I had opted, I knew I needed more reprogramming, so that’s when I continued to do the one on one stuff with you for the next six months after that. But we did the IUI with immunosuppressants. I was feeling like a million bucks. I totally believed my baby was coming.

Totally thought it was going to work and it didn’t. And I didn’t get pregnant. And it was in that moment where I was like, you know what? We do need the, the IVF for me and my husband. Like for us, our story, we do need the IVF. We do need to have the sperm help too. We need the immunosuppressants for my immune system, but we also have his factor.

And I remember some of the conversations with you. And being like, it’s not just one, it’s both of us, right? Like we have to move around this. And so then how do I talk to him about this? That was the other thing. Like, how do I, how do I share with my husband where if I even begin to mention IVF, he completely shuts down because he was tired, he didn’t want to do it anymore.

And so through our work, I was able to just get into touch with. the fact that this is my purpose, like this is part of my life’s calling. And I was able to then bring that to him in a way where he could understand that and, and, and see my heart. And I didn’t have those skills or tools before our work together.

It was always very confrontational and, and, um, blamey and kind of gross, right? When we try to talk about this stuff and desperate, I was very desperate. And so through those changes of really being able to just connect in with my purpose and how this is meant for me, I was like, this isn’t going to go away.

You know, like this desire in my heart is not going to go away. This is part of who I am. And just through that softening and that sharing and, and even after we would have all of our calls, Chris and I would talk about things that we had learned. And it was just so such a bolstering for him too. And he was finally able to say like, okay, we can do one more round.

And I mean, I felt so fortunate. And so, I mean, I, I was so blessed that He was willing to go down that road one more time with me. Yeah. And, and I have to comment on something because I, you know, I know Chris a little bit, you know, just kind of, you know, on the periphery, I mean, because you have one of the most amazing husbands in the world that just truly adores you.

True. Like, you know, it’s like he, he was fighting this, but he, he loves you so much that he was trying to find a way to wrap his head around it. And like, just, you know, the transformation in you unquestionably set the stage for a transformation in him. This is kind of that, that, that thing that I talk about, you know, with, with all of you ladies, I say like, we are the keepers of our relationships.

We. set the tone and we set the tenor in our relationships and we can lead without emasculation of our partner you know that there you allowed yourself to become and he followed yes in a really empowered way that both of you could win what do you think it was a response fair yeah he was able to then respond to my heart and my desire as opposed to always being defensive As I’m sure, you know, because, because everything I was, you know, when you talk about trying to get pregnant, like a man that was just so my way, right.

Where, where everything is so clinical and calculated and you know, these are the steps that we need to take to get our kids here. So that’s what really changed was that being able to really own my desire, own the calling, settle into that, sink into that, and then have him respond to that energy. Right.

You also, like, I want to make sure we highlight something that was really important that you did because it took a lot of courage and a lot of trust in yourself to say, I can’t do this again. That was a really powerful point that, that you were making earlier was this idea that I can’t do this again.

Yes. I will be on the road to this, you know, my second baby, but I cannot do it this way. Like that is massive because I think a lot of people fall asleep in their lives and a lot of people get, get, you know, become very comfortable in discomfort in that, in an, in a sense where they’re, they just get really used to things being shitty and don’t even entertain the idea that things can be done differently.

What do you think about that? Yeah, so true because, and I had the comparison cause my round of IVF with Blake where I did get pregnant, it was pretty great. And I was in a really great place and I was in this really connected place with him as a being and Chris and I were in a really good place. So I had that one round, you know, to recall.

And so when I did that really crazy, hectic round, I knew things were not right. I could feel that they weren’t right. I could feel that I was not right. My head was not healthy. I was not well in my mind and I knew it. You know, I could feel it. And so I needed training and I knew that I was like, I need coaching.

I need training. I need to train for this shit. And that’s what I did. Right. And so then I knew that we were going to do this next round of IVF. We waited the four months I wanted to do all the egg quality, you know, work that I could. I wanted to make sure that, um, I was in a really great place. We chose the month of November because that was Chris’s less busy season.

So I knew he wouldn’t be too stressed. You know, we chose a time where we knew we had the support of our friends to take care of Blake. That’s also, going through IVF now with a toddler, that is no joke. Yeah. That is not as easy. I mean, no, IVF is never easy, but it has its own special challenges. So then I was training mentally, physically and emotionally for this next round of IVF And I wasn’t rushing into it this time right like that desperation wasn’t there anymore It was like she’s coming, you know I and so if she doesn’t come before the IVF We’ve got the IVF then and we’re gonna just give it our all and we’re gonna come into it in a very balanced way Now, was it still stressful?

Yeah, because the other thing was we finally get to the IVF. Looks like we’re going to have all these great numbers and only three of my eggs fertilized this time. And we’re like, what the fuck? And I remember calling you or texting you or whatever it was. I was like, Oh my God, we only have three fertilized eggs.

Like what? And so I wanted to spin and I wanted, and you just said to me, you’re like, Robin. What if exactly what you need is in those three? It’s like what do you want like 17 babies? No, like what if you know and you’re and I was able to like cry for 10 minutes and then give my head a shake and be like, yes, I trust my body.

I trust my baby I trust Gus and so anytime that I would start to go down the oh my god There’s only three and there’s only three on day one and then by day three like oh my gosh, you know I’d be like no Everything I need is here. I trust my body. I trust my baby. I trust Gus. So I’d interrupt that pattern.

And that was something that you taught me because I would just go to crazy town previous to this. So being able to interrupt that pattern was massive. So then this new clinic, they didn’t do day three transfers. They only did day fives. That was new. So, Oh, cause cause my beloved doctor had retired. So we were with a new, a new old clinic.

They were still going to do all the immunosuppressants for me. I was able to get everything I needed and wanted. And so. On day five, we had one embryo, just one. The other two didn’t make it one embryo. And it was like, well, we only need one embryo. We only need one baby. And I remember thinking like, Oh God, what if this doesn’t take and.

And then afterwards, we’ll have to, no, we’re here now, I trust my body, I trust my baby, and I trust us. And so when we did the transfer for this one single embryo, it was at exactly 11, 11 in the morning. Exactly. Like she pressed the plunger at 11, 11. And I remember going like, that has to be a good sign. You know, this has to be.

And so the other thing that had happened too, was my doctor really wanted us to freeze the embryo, recover for a month or two, and then transfer. She’s like, I would just be remiss if I didn’t show you because of your advanced maternal age, if you transfer fresh, you probably won’t get pregnant. That’s basically what she told me, right?

She’s like, so you’re probably going to want to freeze and transfer later. But in my meditations, my daughter had really, I was like, I’m pretty sure she wants to be a Leo. Like, I’m pretty sure that’s when she’s going to be born. And so if we had done a fresh transfer in November. Then she would, that’s when she would, she would be a Leo.

But I was like, I mean, you try to explain that to a doctor and she’s like, well, Robin, I know that you, as she’s rolling her eyes, she goes, I know that you always go with your intuition. So I will support you, but I would be remiss if I did not share with you the statistics. And I was like, so Chris thought I was a nut bag.

He was like, are you crazy? Like we, we need to, obviously we need to freeze and transfer later. And so here I am like saying to him, I was like, oh, I know, but there’s just the part of me that. Like, this is what she’s shown me. So I think we need to do a fresh transfer. And so he was pretty mad at me. I have to say, he was pretty mad.

He was like, never take my advice. And I had to like, really check where that information was coming from and be like, am I just trying to rush things because I want it to happen sooner or is this truly what I think she’s telling me? And I, at the end of the day, you know, I was like, I really do think this is what she’s telling me.

So I was like, we’re going to do a fresh transfer against everybody’s advice. You know, against my husband’s advice, but , I was like, but her, you know, my daughter’s advice was to do it now. So that’s what we did. And a week before my pregnancy test, I started bleeding and I was convinced. Convinced that my period had started, like I was bleeding and cramping.

And I remember talking to you that day too, and being like, oh my gosh. Like what? And then I really beat myself up for about 12 hours where I was like, why didn’t I wait? They all told me to wait. Why did I throw this away? Like, why did I go with my intuition and my intuition was wrong? Like I have my period and it’s all over.

And I remember having a call with you that day. And you were like, even if you have your period now, does that change the fact that your daughter is coming? And I was like, well, no, you’re like, well, then she’s going to come another way. And I was like, I do believe that to be true. And then that night the bleeding stopped and I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.


it’s so funny how we can talk about this calmly because having been on the other end of those text messages and everything that we were going back and forth, like I remember, you know, like being with you in that moment, but I was like, Something I just don’t buy that it’s over. Like I could not, I mean like I, I, I cannot, like, I cannot explain why that was.

There was a calmness in me being present with you. I’m like, nah, no. I said, what do we know about your daughter? And this is, isn’t this crazy that we can talk about your daughter? Like, you know, in the sense that you open your heart to her and work, you knew her so fully. And I remember saying something to you, like, I’m like, I don’t know.

I think this girl is not so predictable. I don’t believe that she is, you know, she’s going to be a wily one. And she was. Well, and one of the things, one of the things that I had to work on when on our time together was I had to work on becoming a woman who was open to being surprised. Yeah! I remember!

Right? Because I was so used to knowing everything and planning everything and with IVF, there’s no, there’s no surprises. You know when your transfer is, you know exactly your due date. And I remember lamenting, you know, at times being like, oh, I’m never going to just get to be surprised by peeing on a stick and it being positive.

Like that will never happen for me. And I cannot tell you how surprised I was that night when I peed on a stick and it was positive, like, that was a huge surprise. I was so delightfully surprised. I know. And there was just, I remember when I said that to you, I think that was one of the things I said, be, be the woman that’s willing to be surprised.

Yes. Like there was something that came through me that just knew like that kind of a thing was that there’s something that about Robin that needs to be surprised here. Oh yeah. And seeing surprises is not a bad thing. Like you now have evidence in front of you that being a woman who was open to be surprised isn’t just negative surprises.

This is the good shit too. Right. And I’ve always associated surprises with something negative because And that’s the control freak part of me that needs to know it all, like don’t. And so what a beautiful thing and I have a feeling that this girl is going to love surprises and be all about it. Like I had to become a woman open to being surprised to be this girl’s mama.

I know! Well, okay, and so you have to tell us, like how far along are you now? I am almost 17 weeks pregnant now. Wow. And we do have confirmation that she is indeed a girl, which was another surprise. Because I, of course, all this time have been connecting in with a girl, her name’s Ruby. And a week before we got our harmony testing done, I had a dream that was a boy.

And then my girlfriend, who is a spirit baby communicator, who helped me a lot through this process as well, she had a dream that it was a boy. And we were both like, what? Because all along it’s been girl, girl, girl, girl, girl. So for the week leading up to us, we had a gender reveal cupcake party. And for the week leading up to it, I had like resigned myself to the fact that, oh my gosh, Ruby’s a boy.

Like, I’m going to have to really get my head around this and like, we need a new name and what are we going to do? And so for that whole week, it reminded me of that day where I was like, I have my period, obviously it’s over. I would like resign myself now to the fact that I’m having a boy, which is fabulous as well, but different than what I had been expecting.

So I, The day that we had our actual party, I was like, yeah, it’s a boy. It’s obviously a boy. So when I bit into the cupcake and it was pink, I was so surprised. Like somehow she managed to surprise me again. I was completely blown away. I was like, Oh my God, it’s Ruby. She’s the girl. So that was also really, really fun because I was completely surprised.

Yeah. Well, and she just may be telling you that she’s an alpha female, she’s coming in with strong masculine energy, that she is going to be a pistol and she’s got fire, you know, in her heart. You just never know. And, and I think that’s such a, I mean, you have. It’s just as an observer, it’s interesting for me to be able to look at like Robin when she first came and Robin now, like the it’s like when you’re already dealing with someone who is very in tune, like It’s like as a coach and as an observer, I’m like, okay, well, where’s she going to go next?

You know, what, what’s next for her. And you only go higher from there. Like, there’s no limit to what you can create and the amazingness that you can unleash in your life, you know, when you do the work. So. What if you could, like, share, like, what is one piece of information that you would want women listening to know?

Like, whether they’re, they’re desiring another baby, you know, to add to their family, or if this is the first baby that they’re having, like, what’s the piece of information you would want them to know? Never give up. Never give up. That desire, if it’s in your heart, like you always say it’s meant for you, but there will be a way there will be a way through.

And if you are lost and you don’t know what the next step is, ask for that guidance, because there is always somebody out there who has a piece of information or a story or something that they can share. There’s always a next step. And. The biggest piece is really getting into your bones, that knowledge that, yes, my baby is coming, and if you’re really struggling with that, you don’t know how to get to that place.

That’s what Roseanne is for. That’s what this kind of coaching is for. It’s to get you mentally to that place, because I remember even when we would talk about it, you would always call Ruby by her name. You would always say, you know, you’re calling in a daughter. There were so many just ways that you affirmed that for me.

That helped me be like, yes, yes, like this is happening. This is happening. Just help to interrupt that pattern and give your head a shake, you know, to be like, no, this is happening. And that is the biggest thing. Do not give up. There’s always a way there’s always, there’s always an answer. And sometimes those answers are within you.

And you need to learn how to get in there to see what they are. But there’s help for that. There’s people that can teach you to do that. If you don’t know how in this moment. Yeah. And I think that another thing that you, your story really serves to teach is the power of getting on the same page with your partner.

Yes. And to do, to do that in a really empowered way, because you know, you’re living proof of, of what’s possible when you do that. And, and to not hide the desire to really embrace the desire, because that’s exactly what you had to do with Chris. That was a big one for us. And like many times in the 15 years, you know, and again, with our tenure age difference, we’re often on very different pages.

in our life and in our journey. So being able to find our way back to each other. And that was, was so important and it wasn’t easy, you know? So, so having that guidance too was just so important. But just knowing like, yeah, like learning how to connect with that other person again, cause that can be hard after like we’ve been together for almost 18 years at this point, right?

Well, and you know, and you know, the other part of that, You know, relating to your bump squad is you really learned how to hold your own amongst a, you know, and I say this with love, you had like a cacophony of tackling hyenas, like telling you like, you know, lovingly, you know, super committed to, to your dream, but telling you this is, you know, it’s crazy to do a fresh transfer.

Why would you do a fresh transfer? Like, but you had to figure out and find another gear within you to trust what was. what you were hearing. Yeah. Trust your instinct. Like that was massive. And to hold the fucking line, because that’s ultimately what you have to do. Like, I know you were scared shitless. I was there in spirit and like via iMessage, but like you had to really hold the line.

Yeah. I had to trust in what she had told me. I had to trust in that feeling because really that’s all it is. It’s a feeling. I had to trust in that. And one of the really cool things that, because I was having trouble with that manifestation, I’d be like, I can picture it in my head. I have a hard time feeling it in my body.

Like how do I do that? And, and you had introduced that really cool game to us, the remember when game. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That was one of the best ways where, where we would, you know, pretend that we’re a year in the future, and then we would talk backwards and be like, remember when you discovered you were pregnant?

And we would talk through it like it was really happening. My husband and I played that game together and that was massive for getting us on the same page and excited and just like bringing that manifestation into our relationship. And the first time he played it was on the Easter weekend. So nearly a year ago.

It’s really interesting when I think back, like that was a big, and I remember we were playing this remember when game and he’s like, yeah, and so what are you like five months pregnant now? And I was like, yeah, about that. So now here we’re coming up to Easter weekend and I’ll be about five months pregnant.

Oh, it’s giving me goosebumps. I know. I mean, look at how quickly. You made that transformation and how quickly I mean, like, and weren’t we get that you’re not about speed, you know, with a 15 year journey, like nothing about this is like is necessarily about speed. And, and that’s not what we’re going for here, but what’s interesting to me outside looking in is how quickly you changed and how quickly you found that other gear and how quickly Ruby found her way here.

Like, I mean, it’s just incredible. Like, cause when you think in like, in the, these blocks of time, like. A lot happened really quickly. Oh yeah. And that was the missing piece. Like the mental, the mental piece was the missing piece. We had a great formula, but there was a huge, a gaping hole in my strategy of my mind that was crap.

Right. And so, and then like you said, though, getting Chris and I on the same page too. And so that was that. Yeah. And so once that work started and we had the tools, things changed really fast, but that’s what I needed. I needed that coaching. I needed the formula to be like, these are the things, this is how you uncover what’s going on inside of you.

And you know, it takes a very strong human being, such as yourself, to be able to ask for that help. Because you could have like, I mean, there’s so many excuses that, that we can make to not do what we know to do, or to know that we need help, that we can, we can blow shit off. We can, you know, just make a litany of excuses, but You were so committed to your dream, Robin, that you stopped making those excuses.

Cause like you didn’t make excuses with me, like, you know, whether it was in the program or when we were coaching privately, like in that block of time, like you weren’t an excuse maker. No. And I did the work like I was up doing my morning practice every single morning. I never missed a Saturday call in that full time.

Like I was committed to doing that work first of all, because it worked and I could feel it working even though it still took a while before I had the physical pregnancy. I felt it working inside of me. My husband Girl, that was like, it was like nine months. Like, I mean, in less than a year on a 15 year journey, you go from like zero to Ruby.

Like, I mean, it’s incredible. I should make that a t shirt zero. Yeah. That’s fantastic. You’re right. You’re right. And I felt, I could feel it working. I could feel the change in me and it just gave me back my, Joy, it gave me back my vigor. It gave me back that like positivity and that, that outlook. It made life so much more fun again, and that rubbed off on my whole family.

Wow. Wow. And I, and I can tell, and I, cause Diana was on here, uh, gosh, I can’t remember her episode was like maybe a month and a half ago, but I mean, there’s something that happens when you bring like minded women together that are as fiercely committed to their dream as well. Like you guys, just the sparks fly.

It’s like so amazing. And you have to know that your transformation. Didn’t just affect your family. I mean, that’s a, that’s an amazing outgrowth of your own transformation, but who you became impacted all of the women around you and all of the women listening to this, like, do you get that? Like, I, I mean, I really want people to take away from this.

I mean, there’s myriad things are going to take away from this because you’ve been so kind and generous, but there’s another piece that when. You have the guts to live your dream. It isn’t just for you. It’s frankly for everyone else and everyone else’s life that you’re going to touch. Cause sister girl, hearing your voice and hearing your commitment, there is a woman.

I promise you whose life has changed because you have the guts to hold out for Ruby. Right now you’re changing another woman’s life. I don’t, my God. And thank God I’m wearing waterproof mascara because you were willing to live your dream. You’re changing a life right now. Do you get that? I receive it. Oh man.

It is so worth it is worth all the heartache and all the work and all the time and all the days. It is just so worth it. Amen, sister. Well, thank you so much. Thank you, Roseanne. Thank you so much for this important work that you do. It’s just such a valuable part of our world. Thank you. Lofts, if you made it through that interview with your eyes dry, you get a gold star because you’re better than me.

I don’t know how anyone could listen to Robin’s story and not be moved to their core. And I hope that her story of tenacity, her story of triumph will bless you today and just put a bolt of lightning in your heart to really go for it and take a stand for this baby that you know is meant for you. Loves, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, just like Robin did.

To covering their bases, mind and body. I work with women who are committed to success. If you want to learn what I taught Robin, this is the way to do it. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com. And apply for an interview there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true.

Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that. My darling and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast?

Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.