EP130 Embrace the Sometimes Lonely Road To Fertility Success

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

Ever feel lonely as sh*t on this journey? You definitely aren’t alone. Join me for a real-real convo about the upside of feeling alone on this journey and how smart women get cozy with the sometimes lonely road to fertility success.

The post EP130 Embrace the Sometimes Lonely Road To Fertility Success appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Hey, gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 130 embracing the sometimes lonely road to success. Hey loves. Ah, it’s so good to be with you again this week. And I want to kick around some ideas with you about a topic that can be wildly misunderstood loneliness on the road to fertility success.

And let’s be honest, this journey can get pretty fucking lonely. Whether it’s our friends and family’s misunderstanding of what this journey is all about, or perhaps it’s a self imposed separation driven by shame or not quite knowing how to express or share what we’re going through, more often than not, at one point or another, Shit can get lonely as shit.

I’m not going to delve deeply into whether your sense of loneliness is warranted or not. That’s not for me to decide. Certainly, we can find ourselves in a place where our loneliness is totally made up by our saboteurs. Or we get caught up in a victim story that prevents us from seeing that indeed, The people around us have tried to be there, but in our angst, we’re too committed to our victimhood and ego to see it.

We can be super awesome at creating kabuki theater in our heads that is a ridiculous departure from fact and therefore veers into delusion. It’s up to you to make an honest assessment about whether you might be in that category. Integrity and commitment to the whole truth simply compels me to point out that as a potential possibility.

And I want you to be successful, mama! So just be sure you have a decent command of the facts in your life, separate from the saboteur stories. And if you don’t know how to do that, apply for my Fearlessly Vernal Method program. We’ll take care of that real quick. For our purposes here, I’m going to presuppose that your loneliness I’m going to take it as a given that you have precisely and concisely asked the people in your life for what you want, and for whatever reason, you find yourself in a place where they aren’t quite giving it.

It feels inadequate, or you just feel downright misunderstood and therefore feel fucking lonely. Here’s what you have to know, having the guts to vigorously and unapologetically commit to a dream puts you in a category of people that few have the fortitude to enter. Shockingly few, unlike the guts it takes to pursue your career, committing to success on this journey is a heart based pursuit.

Unlike your career, which generally follows a rather linear progression, there is no such certainty on the journey to your baby. In fact, there are fewer illusions for a quote unquote guarantee of success. Unlike law or medical school, where generally speaking, the chances are decent for you to get a job fairly quickly.

Once you have jumped through the proverbial hoops, or you will at least have a decent shot of being able to hang out your own shingle and go it alone, the pursuit of motherhood has no such immediate reassurances. A lot of people are just not gonna get it! Heart based pursuits have a decidedly different quality to them, which makes them so incredibly frustrating!

and rewarding at the same time. The very nature of this journey puts you in a very unique category doll. Like it or not, you are in a place where the herd gets fucking thin. Having the ovaries to stand in your desires can make you a bit of an oddity. Most people go for the low hanging fruit. This isn’t a judgment, it’s a fucking fact.

Look around you. Think about how our culture has been dialed back to such a degree that there are entire industries built on convenience and are seeming prolific ADD these days. We want things to be delivered to us with speed and ease. The minute shit starts to get crazy. There are a ton of people that will just tap out at the slightest difficulty.

People start reevaluating shit and hemming and hawing about what they want. It’s fucking crazy. It’s an epidemic. I’m not sitting here on my high horse. Trust me, the DoorDash app on my phone has been smoking at times, and I am not the world’s most patient woman either, so I totally fucking get it. What I’m getting at is that the tenacity one has to actively choose on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis, makes you a unicorn of sorts.

Mama, you got to get that in your heart. You’re kind of a unicorn. Having the guts to double down on your dreams is gonna get lonely, baby girl, because most people will not do it. This makes you different. Different can get lonely. Different will put you at an altitude few ever ascend to. But, this pursuit isn’t like another degree, a bigger house, more money, or other valid but material pursuits.

This is a calling. And when you grasp this, this changes the quality and character of your loneliness. You may as well embrace it, Mama. You’re not like everybody else. The consciousness you have to have to be on this journey for any consistent period of time is something few will ever understand. It’s no better or worse, it’s just different.

You may have noticed that when you’ve shared the ups and downs on this journey, that people around you are often quick to offer what they see as panaceas, like adoption or donor eggs. What this reveals is that despite their good intentions, they just don’t fucking get it. Chances are, the tenacity you are demonstrating is something they have never exerted in their own life, and even if they have, not to the same degree.

And it makes them uncomfortable, makes them think about the regrets they have in their own lives, or the pursuits they gave up on, and perhaps, Which drives them to say the give up on it shit that they say. Again, this is an observation. This is no better, no worse, it’s just different. And when you understand the contrast between someone who has spent years pursuing a dream and someone who waves the white flag at the first sign of trouble, you can see that those experiences are just too different.

If those experiences were people, they might have polite conversation occasionally, but they would never have a proper meeting of the minds, and they certainly wouldn’t call each other in the middle of the night to hash out panic. Just think about the kind of conversation Elon has at the end of a long day versus that of someone who always follows the rules, never gets out of their comfort zone, and consistently chooses safety over sizzle.

No better, no worse, just different. All of this is to say, Mama, instead of allowing the loneliness you might feel drag you down, what if you turned that shit on its ear and took solace in it, knowing that you were on the right path? The quote unquote narrow path. What if you embrace the loneliness you feel as just part of the deal, a reminder of sorts, that you are veering away from average and forging ahead to extraordinary?

What if you are simply on the road less traveled and that’s actually pretty fucking awesome? Now be careful here. Your saboteurs might try to convince you that I’m slinging some egotistical elitist bullshit. Tell that snowflake to sit her mediocre ass back down. Remember what I said earlier. No better, no worse, just different.

And you know what? So the fuck what? So what if your calling puts you in a different category? Do you really want to live a so so average life? When you think about the number of people who settle for good enough, instead of holding out for extraordinary, you will realize you want no part of that trifling shit.

You will take temporary loneliness over a life of regret and bitterness. One day you will teach your baby a thing or two about having the guts to stand alone. Because you had the guts to do it yourself. This reminds me. Of a quote I love from Henry David Thoreau. If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected.

I invite you, Mama, to see the loneliness you might feel with some compassion. You are on an uncommon path because you are not common. The desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. This does not require you to become a martyr or revel in suffering. It just means that there will be times When shit gets lonely.

And frankly, that’s okay. It’s not an indictment of your friends, family, or partner. It’s just the price we pay sometimes on the path to something life changing and big, which motherhood clearly is. Embrace the loneliness, mama. It just might mean you’re on the right track. And, as a side note, the inherent loneliness on the road less traveled is often an invitation to up level those in our acquaintance.

This means being open to surrounding ourselves with other like minded, smart as fuck women in an informed and non competitive environment. I see this in the group of women I coach in my Fearlessly Fertile Method program. These women are physicians, lawyers, nurses, engineers, biologists, artists, teachers, and entrepreneurs.

We even had a reproductive endocrinologist in this program. These are educated as fuck women who come together for a common goal. To think, believe, and take action like fertility success stories amongst women that are committed to finding empowerment, not wallowing in victimhood. And they find community like no other.

They get to think and demand big with no apologies. It inspires the shit out of me to watch them one by one. Own their unique path and succeed. Makes my heart sing. Here’s an exercise to take what we’re chatting about here to the next level. Step one, flip the script on the story you tell about loneliness on this journey.

It doesn’t mean that nobody loves you, everybody hates you, and in this case, you should just go eat worms. It means that not everyone is going to get you in this chapter of your life. No better, no worse, just different. Take a minute to take some responsibility for tuning yourself up here. Consider whether or not you have legitimately told people what you need, and whether you have given them an honest chance to be there for you.

If they haven’t, and you’ve done that, it might just mean that they can’t do it right now. If that’s the case, then it’s up to you to be a big girl and set a boundary. That doesn’t mean you abandon your dream. Fuck that. It just means that you have now entered the road less traveled, and you might be traveling seemingly solo for a bit.

That’s, of course, until you meet your sisters in my Fearlessly Fertile Method program. Driven, smart, and successful as fuck. Step 2. Write the new story you will tell yourself about the times when you are alone on this journey. This reminds me a lot of the hero’s journey, but in our case, it’s the heroine’s journey.

What can you appreciate about the part of you that’s willing to sit with a responsibility for continuing to say, hell yes, When you might be the only one saying it. How are you inspired and lifted up by the fact that you are willing to do you and let everyone else catch up? It’s a gangster move. And third, if you love this podcast and the free content my team and I create for you every week, take a moment right now and give us a five star review.

Not only does that show your appreciation, it helps other women find this desperately needed work. Love, there is magic that happens when you embrace your loneliness with an open heart and a steady hand. While indeed you may feel alone for a time, it will open up part of you that is ready to be surrounded and supported by other women who truly get it.

Even when everyone else in their life might not. There is life changing sisterhood in hell yes. It’s not about having everyone get you. It’s about having the right people around you. As the women in my Fearlessly Fertile Method program know, when you have the right women around you, success gets kind of contagious.

And if you feel called, join them. My Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body. I work with women who are committed to success.

To apply for your interview for this program, Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com, and apply for an interview there. My methodology is help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit. And set you up for success.

Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.