EP153 Self Sabotage? The Power of The Trusted Advisor

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

It doesn’t matter how disciplined you are in your professional or personal life—the fertility journey is a different animal. With its tentacles tapping into old wounds and long-held limiting beliefs, how does the woman committed to success avoid the bear trap of self-sabotage? Discover why The Trusted Advisor is the ace up the sleeve of […]

The post EP153 Self Sabotage? The Power of The Trusted Advisor appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey. Just like I did get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell. Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 153. Self sabotage? Meet it with the power of the trusted advisor. Hey loves, I’m gonna keep this week’s episode short and to the point because You doing here and taking action on the exercise that I’m going to be sharing with you is super important.

Over the years of me doing this work and mentoring women to success on this journey, some of which were given dismal, Less than 10 percent odds. I’ve learned some priceless shit. It also helps that I myself have had the experience of clawing my way back from fear, negativity, and doubt to beat the odds at almost 44 naturally.

One of those priceless nuggets is learning to have a trusted advisor in your corner can be the difference between success and failure. You see, the trap that I see otherwise lovably type a go getter Make it happen. Professional women find themselves in is the perpetual state of DIY. Also known as do it yourself.

And it’s interesting to me because DIY has this really bizarre romanticism about it. Like we tell ourselves if we do things DIY, it somehow has more merit than having, you know, the support of a professional or whatever. But here’s the truth. DIY can get you started, but it rarely takes you to the promised land.

And even when it does, it will take you longer, cost you more in the long run, and it robs you of the chance of really seeing the full potential of what you can do on this journey and in your life. In fact, let’s be honest, the end result of DIY is never quite the same as when you go pro. And you know this if you’ve hired a contractor, even consider your results in the gym.

They’re way different when you have a trainer versus when you’re willy nilly relying on free YouTube videos. It’s a fact. Just think about it. If you’ve ever done some kind of a remodel on your home, you and your partner might be doing that shit on the weekend and it’s like, fuck me, it’s eight months later and this, this shit still looks like a bomb went off.

Or that you’ve later find out that there was some wiring and some shit that could have been done in a way smarter way. So, while DIY might be great for the weekend warrior, it’s really not for the person that’s truly committed to success. And here’s why, and this is what I was getting to. We don’t know what we don’t know.

More often than not, without a trusted advisor in the most important aspects of our lives, We are siloed in the limitation of our own experience. And look, hey, your experience professionally may be vast. There’s no question about that. You, you know your shit when it comes to your work and probably other aspects of your life.

No question. But does that shit translate to what is going on for you on this journey? Not likely. Having actually coached and mentored a reproductive endocrinologist, I know this shit for a fact. We don’t know what we don’t know. Smart women call in the best of the best to help them fill in the gaps.

They have the humility to admit that there are some gaps in their shit. And I get it. Sometimes it’s hard to admit, like, especially if our identity is, is perched upon the precarious notion that we know everything, right? Like, you know, I know, I mean, I came from a background where, you know, as a, as a prosecutor, I better know everything.

But the fact is, we don’t! We don’t. And chances are, you know exactly where the gaps are. Do you know how to think past your saboteurs? Are you actually good at communicating what you want in a way that sets you up to win? Do you have a healthy relationship with money so you aren’t making penny wise, pound foolish decisions on this journey?

Are you stuck having to clean up the mess of your partner’s negative mindset? Are you adept at making decisions quickly, without regret? Do you actually believe you deserve the good you desire? Do you know how to break out of jealousy in comparison and fucking FOMO? Can you set and enforce boundaries in emotional or tense situations with ease?

Are you connected with your intuition so you can hear past the naysayers and noise? Do you fucking trust yourself and your body? Do you know how to not let current circumstances dictate how you feel and what you think? Are your yeses hell yeses and are your no’s hell no’s? These are aspects of our lives that on this journey are uniquely tested on an almost daily basis.

You might know how to do this shit in other aspects of your life, which is great. But the question is, do you know how to execute them? on this journey. Because this journey, if you haven’t figured it out, is an entirely different animal. I don’t care how many letters come after your name. Everyone hits a point where they need help and they stop playing small and fucking get that help.

This is where loving yourself and your dream enough to call in a trusted advisor, coach, mentor can come into play. You more than likely have had these people in your professional life in one way or another. So you see the value. It’s no different when it comes to the most important role you will have in your life as mom.

This trusted advisor may come in many forms, but let me tell you from experience, the best of the best are people you have zero baggage with. That means they aren’t likely friends or family. Think about it. Love them to pieces, but the people you love have expectations. And they know you as being a certain way.

What if where you’re headed scares them? Or threatens their role in your life? Or they have no fucking experience with what you’re going through? That means, at best, they are guessing and what they’re offering you is limited by, or shaped by, their own fears and expectations. Do you see that? Why would you go to someone to move past limiting beliefs If they haven’t demonstrated that they’ve done it themselves.

That’s like going to someone for business advice who isn’t killing it in business or who thinks that business owners are greedy evildoers. It’s a setup for failure. Does that mean that friends and family are 100 percent eliminated as trusted advisors? Of course not. Of course not. You have to be smart here.

Remember the episode I did a couple of weeks back on the difference between being smart and safe. Go back and listen if you haven’t, and this will make even more sense. Having a fresh set of eyes on your shit is an incredible opportunity. You can get to things in minutes that it might have, that, you know, it might take the untrained weeks to figure out.

Also, when you go to people already in your circle, chances are you all live in a similar way. You get stuck in the same ruts. and you don’t necessarily challenge each other vigorously on your shared beliefs. Part of your eventual success on this journey will include challenging what you believe is possible for you in a healthy and no bullshit way.

How the hell are you ever going to get better and grow if you’re surrounded by yes men or people that try to convince you not to change because of their own fears? How does that propel you to your highest? Indeed, with a trusted advisor or mentor in our corner, we are going to hear shit that may be hard to hear.

It may be scary, but when you’re with the right person, who is ethical, knows what the fuck they’re talking about, and most importantly, has done what you say you want to do, you will know it comes from a place of love and zero animus or ulterior motive. A professional mentor, again, If they’re worth their salt, has one thing in mind, helping you get what you want.

They don’t care what your mama thinks. They don’t give two shits about what your friends from high school who haven’t done shit in their own lives say. And their sole focus is what you actually value. When fear is tossed out the window and you’re living on purpose instead of inertia. A truly exceptional mentor understands what’s at stake.

The best are people who understand the value of living life to the fullest, so you don’t have to live with regret. I can tell you from personal experience that my own life was changed dramatically by the trusted mentors I brought on. Each represented, for me, a quantum leap in my own life. At first it felt weird to go to someone who, that wasn’t a friend, family member, or even a colleague, but was light years ahead of me.

in where I wanted to go. The result has been the creation of a life I only dreamed about from within the cold concrete walls of the DA’s office. My get paid every two weeks government job that, while it gave me security, was not meant to be a destination, but a bridge to the work I was born to do. You see, without mentorship, I thought that was as good as it would ever get.

That walled in mentality also made me fearful and desperate on my fertility journey, because I thought the statistics and what the white coat said was it for me. But here’s the deal, the whole time my heart said otherwise. And through Sage Mentorship, I finally listened, and what came as a result gave me a life I didn’t believe was possible.

The abundance I see daily, the amazing women I get to work with from places in the world, some of which I’ve never been, the freedom I have and insist upon, and the woman I have become and am still becoming. Was 100 percent unleashed as a result of having people in my life that could see bigger than I could and still do as one of my favorite mentors always says, go to someone who has done what you want to do and has proven by results that they can teach others to do the same and do exactly what they tell you to do.

Some of the best advice I ever got. Mamas. Even the strongest warriors had mentors. It’s a fact. The idea that you were somehow stronger or more accomplished or have more virtue by having done this journey alone or without the support of a trusted advisor is complete nutter bullshit. It is a flat out lie perpetuated by people who never actually experience the difference it makes.

If you look at the personal history of someone actually slinging that lie, chances are they fall short of what they wanted to accomplish in their life and just want you to join them. End your cycle of self sabotage with the support Of a trusted advisor and mentor. And bottom line, this is your life, your baby.

Having kissed my son before he went to school this morning, I urge you to do whatever the fuck it takes to make your dream happen. It’s worth it. And here’s an exercise to take what I’ve shared here with you to the next level. Embrace the power of the trusted advisor. Step one, take a moment to recognize the truth about where you are on this journey right now.

Are you where you desire to be? There’s no judgment here, no shaming, no blaming. Just be honest. Are you achieving what you set out to achieve? Most of us are taught to be in shame about where we are or languish in FOMO. What I’m asking you to do here is way fucking smarter than that. When we can look at where we are without judgment, we can approach the gaps in our awareness or holes in our strategy with negativity, we win.

Where you are on this journey is just a result. That’s all. A data point, if you will. So, identify where you’re at. Step two, identify exactly where you know you are not living up to your commitment to yourself and your dream of being a mom. You could consider those as two different things, or as one thing.

You can’t do this wrong. Chances are, there will be some overlap if you choose to approach it as two different things. That’s cool. The reality is Patterns run our lives. The goal is to be sure you are in patterns that serve you rather than sabotage you. When you look at the places where you are not living up to your potential and you fucking know it, this is exactly where you can invite in a trusted advisor, coach, or mentor.

Some people use these terms interchangeably. What you have to know about this is that regardless of the term you use, This person should have consistent experience in the area and have a track record for helping those similarly situated. And there’s an important distinction to note that even in professional sports, there are some coaches out there that never played the game.

So I see mentorship is something different. Mentorship is coming from someone who actually did the thing. So figure out what works for you, because there is hard won intel from the trenches out there. Smart women don’t take guidance from people with no practical experience. Who would you rather go to war with?

Someone that just read about that shit in a book? Or someone who has been on the front lines, knows the streets by heart, and can point you in the direction of the cutest little coffee shop where only locals go? That’s the kind of information you want, Mama. And once you’ve identified where you know you are not living up to your commitment to yourself, The clutch move is to do something about it.

Love yourself and your dream enough to call in the support of a trusted advisor to help you get out of your own way. We all have blind spots. The question is whether or not we will do the work to navigate around them. I’m telling you again from personal experience and what I’ve seen in the women I serve.

You will get around that shit smarter and faster with the support of a trusted advisor than you ever could on your own. Because if you truly have a mentor that knows what they’re doing, they won’t fall for your bullshit. It’s scary, I know, to step into your dream enough to have accountability for getting there.

But if you don’t, then this isn’t a real dream. It’s wishful thinking. And for women who are truly committed to success on this journey, Mediocre! Wishful thinking ain’t enough. You want victory and don’t play like you don’t. Love you enough to call it out. Find your fucking mentor. Anyone who is actually serious about success has one.

And step three, text the link to this podcast episode to someone you think could benefit from it. Screenshot this episode and put it in your Facebook or Insta story tagging me. Share the shit out of this. And while you’re at it, take a moment to give us a five star review. It’ll make you feel so good to show your gratitude for this free content.

My team and I serve you with every week. Luff, you have 11 months left in this year. What you do now could have you celebrating one of the biggest wins in your life on December 31st. Is this going to be the year everything changed? Is this the year you stepped into the blessing that you know in your soul you deserve?

Did you say big hell yeses? Did you say righteous hell no’s? Did you break out of the dream stealing trap of lack and scarcity? Did you make the decision to love this dream enough to call in every bit of support you desire to get there? Did you bet on you? If there is something in your heart screaming, Yes!

I would love to be your mentor. Word on the street is I know a little something about mentoring women to success on this journey. And there’s a seat at the table for you. My Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind, and body.

So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true.

Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review.

Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.