EP169 Smart Mama Move: Master Your “Cans”

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

On a daily basis we are having an internal conversation about what we can or can’t do. This seemingly innocuous and often unconscious conversation is dictating the results in your life and on this journey. Women who succeed become masters of their “cans.” Let me share what it takes to get started.

The post EP169 Smart Mama Move: Master Your “Cans” appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 169. Smart Mama. Move Master your cans. Hey, loves. I am so excited to be here with you this week as we talk about something that really needs to be talked about.

And my team and I are just coming off of our launch for Fearlessly Fertile Daily and we are so freaking excited about every single woman that has taken the leap and is going to be joining me every single day for 30 days straight starting on June 1st and ending on my sweet boys. Fifth birthday. It’s going to be such a delight to be working with women every single day, 15 minutes or less, giving them the bite sized tools, strategies, ideas, and nudges that they need to truly use the last six months of this year to their advantage.

And it just thrills me. And, you know, having had thousands of women register for the webinars that I did to support this, as well as getting tons of really heartfelt DMS and emails from the women that attended. It really inspired me to share this week’s topic with you, because when opportunity knocks, you gotta be there to open the door, mama.

Because on this journey and in our lives, I mean, we are being presented with opportunities all the time. And the stories that you are telling yourself, your cans and your can’ts are literally dictating whether or not you see the opportunities right under your nose. And I just, you know, it’s incredible to me when I think back on my own journey, how So much of what I needed was right under my nose, like all the time, mindset, this, this mindset thing.

It was so obvious, you know, looking back now, how much I held myself back based on my cans and my cants and it creates an entire paradigm for us. So if you’re not managing that, if you’re not getting in there and rooting those things out and taking control and beginning to master your cans and your cants, your life.

And your quality of life and your success on this journey depends on it because what you believe you can or can’t do is literally dictating your results. You cannot get around it. Everyone thinks that something is magically going to come in and save their ass, but the universe, God universe source is so good that it’s sending us opportunity all the time.

But you know, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. And that, you know, we live in a universe of free fucking will and we are being given opportunities all the time. And whether or not you see them is going to be based on your paradigm. It’s going to be based on the internal stories that you’re telling.

Essentially, you’re canned and you’re can’t, which is why I am sharing what I’m sharing with you this week. I’m telling you, the women that are in Fearlessly Fertile daily, they are not going to be suffering from FOMO. They are going to be in the trenches, learning how to shift their mindset daily, creating new habits and so many amazing things that by the time that they reach the end of that, I don’t think they’re going to recognize themselves in the best possible way.

So if you’ve got a little bit of FOMO going on about Fearless E Fertile Daily, let that be a lesson, mama, that next time the opportunity presents itself and your heart is saying yes, but your saboteurs are saying, no, I can totally do this on my own, but then you don’t end up doing anything anyway, you will go and leap.

Next time you will leap. So let’s talk about mastering your cans. So it’s really quite simple, at least it begins quite simply. You’ve got to start taking really close notice. Of the internal stories that you tell right now about what you can and can’t do. Okay. You’ve got to really listen for that because a lot of times these conversations we’re having internally, they are basically unconscious.

There’s this ongoing conversation we’re having in our head about what we can and can’t do. And so once you notice that you’re in your can or your can’t, you’ve really got to start focusing on where you spend most of your time. Do you spend most of your time, mama, talking about what you can do, or are you spending more time on what you can’t?

It’s really extraordinary when you start breaking this down and really start looking at it closely. The patterns that we create for ourselves and, and literally what we think is possible for us in our lives is being dictated by these can and can’ts. And if you spend way more time in can’t than you spend in can, You’ve got a big problem now.

I’m not saying you have a problem like in a pejorative sense. I’m just as an observer saying you’ve got a problem because you are not going to be as resourceful, resilient and rock star. As you could be on this journey, if you’re spending more time telling yourself why you can’t have what you say you want, okay, because here’s the thing, kind of going back to something I said earlier, you know, we, we believe one way and then we think magically something is going to come in and save our ass.

No, no, and and the reason why I’m pointing that out is because if you are in a constant state of can’t you will not do the things that you need to do in order to succeed because at its core you don’t believe you can have the thing that you say you want. Right. So a lot of people run around thinking that they can think positively, but behave negatively.

And somehow the universe is going to unfuck their situation, right? They’re just going to randomly have a baby, but that’s not how success works. You can look to professional sports. You can look to business. You can look at people who have healed in curable. And I say that with quotation marks in curable disease, right?

They were not in can’t. Everyone that is successful in those three areas of life and beyond are more often than not focused on what they can do. They’re not focused on what they can’t because they can’t afford to be and can’t, right? If you are truly committed to success in any aspect of your life, if you spend more time in can’t than you do can, you are going to create those results.

And this is not magical thinking. This is actually quite logical and linear. So you want to look at what are the kinds of conversations you’re having internally, right? Notice when you’re having a can or can’t conversation. Then the second thing that you want to be doing here is you’ve got to pay attention to where you live.

Where are you living when it comes to your cans and your can’ts? Are you spending more time? In can’t, than can, and, you know, when you notice, like if, and, and look, there’s no shame in your game. If you’re spending more time in can’t than can, don’t beat yourself up for it. The point of this is to gain awareness so you can fucking change it, right?

Because you can’t change things that you aren’t aware of. Right? So the whole point in me bringing this to your attention is to wake you up to it, right? This is like a giant red pill to what’s going on in your mind. Okay? So once you identify the ratio of time that you spend in can’t versus can, you really want to look closely at your can’ts.

A really good thing that you could be doing is make a list of your can’ts. What are the current can’ts that you’re telling yourself right now? What are the reasons why you are, or you are telling yourself, at least, that you can’t have what you want? Because they’re extremely telling. They are literally telling you how you’re sabotaging your success on this journey.

So, let me give you an example. If you’re in a place where you say, Well, I can’t do that because, you know, I’m too old. Or, I can’t do that because I’ve failed 74 times already. Or, I can’t do that because investing in myself and investing in this journey, that’s for other people, right? And, and it’s interesting because when you look at those can’ts, they ultimately are telling you.

What you think about you and what you think you deserve. Do you deserve another chance? Are you worthy of making the investment? Do you deserve to have what you want? Right? Your can’ts are extremely telling. They tell us a lot. You know, as an observer, when I’m working with, with women and I’m listening to what they believe they can or can’t do, it tells me a lot about them and where the work needs to happen.

And you know, the women in fearlessly fertile daily, we’re going to be working heavily in that area because I come from a perspective that if a woman has made a decision to be successful, there’s nothing that’s going to get in her fucking way, but herself and the women that work with me, that’s exactly what we’re focusing on is un fucking that so that you can be an outrageous success on this journey, because I come from the, also from the perspective that the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.

And so you got to get past the can’ts in order to be in the land of can. So take a look, notice when you are having an internal conversation about what you can and can’t do. And then notice also the percentage. How often are you in can’t versus can? And then take a really close look at the patterns in your can’ts because they provide you a wealth of information.

And lastly, when you’re looking at this, you know, this is how you begin to deal with the can’ts and can’s. Is you’ve got to be willing to look past your can’ts. You’ve got to be looking, you’ve got to be willing to grow past your can’ts. So, you know, at the end of noticing all these things, you’ve got to ask yourself, Am I willing to grow past my can’ts?

Because the other thing that is really interesting about our can’ts and our can’s Is ultimately how committed we are to being right in either direction, right? It’s a really funny thing. You know, I observe a lot of women in my work and frankly, thousands of women over the almost eight years that I’ve been doing this and one of the most telltale signs of about a woman’s prospects for success ultimately is going to be her willingness to grow past her can’ts.

And how committed she is to being right because and I’ll explain this a little bit more because it’s really interesting. Human behavior is just extraordinary sometimes because there are some people running around out there that are so committed to being right that they will self destruct. And they will hold on so tightly to their can’ts that, you know, they’ll be, they will continue in self destructive behavior just to be right.

Because they’re afraid if they find out that they actually can do something, that means that their can’t was wrong. Okay, that may be a little hard. Let me say that again. Some people are so committed to being right that they’re willing to self destruct in order to be right, you know, because it scares them.

The idea that they could be wrong, that they’re too old, it freaks them out. It sends them into a tailspin because if they’re wrong about this, what else could they be wrong about, right? And I think that some of that comes from our education system, some of it comes from our societal conditioning, that being wrong about something is like fatal.

I can’t be wrong about anything. Even if being wrong is a good thing, right? It’s so funny, like, I, you know, when I run into women who are into this, you know, idea that, Oh, I’m too old. I’m too old. And when you challenge that, and you’re like, well, you know, So and so is this age, and they got pregnant. Isn’t it possible that you can too?

Like, it freaks them out to, to consider that maybe they could be wrong. We get so connected to being right that even if being wrong is awesome, we don’t want to let go of it. Like, it’s really an interesting thing. It’s an interesting thing to observe in human behavior. So, part of how you’re going to begin mastering your, your cans.

Is to give yourself an opportunity again, to observe that this is happening in your head, really pay attention to when you’re in a conversation of your cans and your cans to really notice how much time or what’s the ratio of time that you spend in can’t versus can. And then third, you want to ask yourself, honestly, am I willing to grow past my can’ts?

Am I willing to be the woman that is able to see this in an entirely different way? And, you know, am I able in the fourth, like, am I willing to be wrong about this? Am I willing to be wrong about all of these things, all of these can’ts that I’m telling myself? Because you know what? I may find out that I can, and that’s a good thing, right?

So you really want to assess, like, how committed are you to being right? And, you know, one of the, one of the greatest lessons I learned on my own journey is being wrong sometimes is pretty fucking awesome. You know, it, it’s, it, it’s really interesting that, and, and, in the end, it’s, these successes don’t come, like, in a surprise way.

It’s tiny little shifts in what you think and believe that create tiny little shifts in your thoughts and therefore your behaviors. And just like a plane on its way somewhere, you know, it’s these, it’s these tiny little adjustments that a pilot makes for wind speed, weather. You know, other air traffic, things like that, that can yield miles of results.

These tiny little adjustments that we make cumulatively can create miles difference in what we would otherwise have in our lives. This is the power of becoming masterful over your cans and your can’ts. And look, Mama, don’t make yourself wrong. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re spending way more time and can’t, don’t freak out or beat yourself up.

Again, as I said before, this is about awareness. Because once we are aware of a problem, we can actually fucking do something about it. Well, if you’re really committed to success, you’ll do something about it. Ain’t that the truth. And if you want my help getting there, my loves, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind, and body, so you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret.

I work with women of integrity who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy.

Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.