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This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.
When Agata and her husband decided they wanted to start their family, they had no idea it would be an almost 4 year odyssey. With the frustratingly vague diagnosis of “unexplained” fertility issues, Agata was chasing after every diet, lotion, and potion she could get her hands on and even endured 2 failed rounds of […]
The post EP173: She Found Herself, Her Voice, and Her Baby: Agata’s Story appeared first on Rosanne Austin.
Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.
I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell. Yes.
For your fertility journey, it’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 173. She found herself her voice. And her baby, Agatha’s story. Hey loves, I am so excited to be with you today! And sharing yet another story of triumph from one of my ladies.
And as of this recording, sisters, we are up to 41 women! Making their dreams come true! So amazing! And it just brings so much joy to my heart to just be around women that are not only committed to their dreams and consistently working toward them on a daily basis, but also women that are so kind and generous enough to share their stories to help inspire your beautiful asses.
And, you know, when I think about Agatha’s story and what she’s going to be sharing today, you know, it’s incredible how transformational beginning to work on the way that you think and believe can be in an aspect of our lives that, you know, most of us would probably blow off, right? When we have a quote unquote physical problem, we look for quote unquote physical solutions.
But as Agatha is going to be sharing, like she knew in her heart That there was something going on with her inside and once she unleashed the fearlessly fertile goodness into her life that along with taking good care of herself and and finding her voice really listening to her heart and sticking to her guns.
In the face of naysayers, doubters, people that were pressuring her to go about her journey in a certain way, she stayed true to her heart and she brought a miracle into her life that seemed so out of reach. So it is with all of that lead up that I am so incredibly honored and delighted to share this interview with Agatha and You know, I know that sometimes there are going to be mixed feelings about hearing these stories, you know, you could be super inspired in one second, and then you might be slipping into a place of weirdness and victimhood and say, well, when is that ever going to be me?
If you haven’t figured it out, every single one of these women, if you ask them, would tell you that if they did it, so can you. Your mind is the one thing you have control over on this journey. The timeline, the how all of that reveals itself. Along the way, but the one unifying theme here is that you got to be the woman that keeps going.
You got to be the woman with the discipline. You got to be the woman that’s beating back her saboteurs so she can stay focused. On the dream. So buckle up loves a got is going to be dropping some bombs of wisdom. Here’s my conversation with a Gata woman. We’re going to jump right in because I know what’s going on for you.
So why don’t you start off love by just telling the ladies listening, how you found yourself on this journey? We’ll start there. Okay, great. Yeah. So about 2015 is when I. You know, when I met my husband and we dated for a while and then we decided we got married in 2018 and decided to, you know, we wanted to start a family right away and we were having a, you know, definitely a difficult time trying to get pregnant.
And we tried for the first six months, nothing happened. So I went to my OBGYN and she said, you know, she wanted to run some tests and everything to find out what’s going on with. With us. And she said, you know, pretty much everything was fine. There were some overall little fertility issues, but nothing, nothing too big.
And, uh, but she definitely, because of my age and what have you, she recommended IVF. So we took that route. We went with one doctor and we got eight embryos and then we tested all of them. But unfortunately only there’s only one that was normal. So then we transferred that one. And it didn’t take, so that was pretty devastating for us.
And then, then we took a break and I kind of just did more research on a different, different doctor. And then also, um, I started acupuncture regarding that. And then we found a different doctor and we went with him and things went well with him, but it’s just like. He put me, I remember he put me on so many supplements, I couldn’t, I couldn’t even count how many supplements I was on.
And then, we started the process with him, and then unfortunately, uh, we went with him, and then we did the, what is it called, the egg retrieval, I did all the medications. And we had no eggs by day five. And so like, literally I was just devastated. And after doing those two rounds, I was mentally, emotionally exhausted.
I was just like, you know, and our relationship was just, it wasn’t, you know, wasn’t that great. It was, it was really, there was a lot of tension between us regarding this whole situation. And then, and so then I found your. I was on Facebook and I started seeing all your ads on, on Facebook and I was just like, okay, so I went, you know, started listening to your podcast and I was just like, holy shit, this woman, I feel like she’s going through the same thing I am.
I was just like insane. It’s just like, I felt you were me. And then I started reading your book and then I was just like, I definitely felt I needed more of a personal one on one. With you, the book and the podcast just wasn’t doing it for me. And so then, uh, then I signed up with you in like November of 2020, I think.
And then we started the journey from there and it’s been, you know, it definitely helped me a lot. So it’s been great. Well, so, you know, you brought up a lot of really interesting points in, in, you know, giving us kind of the lay of the land on how you ended up on this journey. Um, But what was it that, you know, cause you, you started to describe, you know, you were, you were devastated in your relationship, started to suffer.
Like, you know, what was going through your mind at that point? Because, you know, one of the things that I think women don’t anticipate is not only is a stressful for you, it really starts to take a toll on your relationship because what was supposed to be an exciting time of having a baby, you know, very quickly turns into chaos.
Yeah, it’s just like, it’s just, it became more of a job than enjoying the process, you know, and it’s just like, especially with me, it’s just like, I’m such a type A control freak, and like, I need everything to happen a certain way, and when it doesn’t, I just like, I get really just frustrated with the whole situation, so.
It’s just like, it wasn’t, we’re, we’re just not enjoying the process at all. I was just like putting so much stress on him, putting stress on me, on my body and me mentally, and it’s just, it was just awful. It was just, it was not a good place to be, you know? And I saw, I knew that once I found your podcast and was reading a book, I knew it was more of a mental thing that I needed to change in order to help me, you know.
You know, get where I wanted to get, be pregnant and have my baby. So, yeah. And did you have a diagnosis? Like, did they ever, like, it was pretty much unexplained unfertility. That the dreaded diagnosis of Agatha, right? It’s like, well, we don’t really know what’s going on, but and this is what, like, I hear from so many women and I think this is true for you too, because I know you so well, is that like?
If I just knew what was wrong, right? Like if I just knew what was wrong, I could fix it. Right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And also it was just like, you know, I didn’t think I can fix it. I was looking for, you know, like the doctors, they’re telling me, okay, you have to do this. You have to do this. I have to take this supplements up to follow this diet.
And I was just like, I was going by what everybody else because I was just trusting more of the doctors. Instead of myself. Oh, that’s a massive, massive awakening that I think you’re blessing a lot of people with, because that’s a hard thing for people to understand that like, yes, your team is there to support you, but ultimately you are fixing you.
You are curing you. You have to believe in you. What do you think about that? Yeah, it’s, it’s definitely like mind opening experience. So finally, like really see that. You know, it’s not people on the outside that can fix me. It’s pretty much I can fix myself. I just, it took me until I met you. It took me a while to figure out, you know, that I can fix myself.
I don’t have to look for people on the outside to fix me. Well, and so what was it Agatha? Because I know you’re, you’re a hard worker. You’re a smart woman. You know, there had to have been a point where you had to be willing to receive. That kind of support because I know like you’re, you know, you’re used to doing shit on your own.
You’re smart lady, you know, and but there’s a point that must there were a switch had to have been flipped in you for me to ask for this help. What was that? It was after the second IVF that we tried. And when we found out we had no viable eggs, I was just like, okay, this isn’t working for me. Like, I can’t stop, like, trying to figure this on my own and what have you.
I just, I really needed the help, mentally, emotionally, to, to get back on track and figure out To help me get where I need to get because I was just I was so I didn’t feel like I lost. I completely felt like I lost myself in the whole process and I just needed to get myself back. Let’s talk about that because that’s a big deal to be able to get yourself back.
So what were some of the things that you learned? What were some of the things that helped you? get yourself back. Just l again and just like reali you know, I needed the he there and to really figure things out from there. So helped me kind of just, j You know, not feel like I have to control everything in my life and just feel like, okay, I just have to let things go and just have, you know, God universe source to help me through this whole entire process, knowing that I’m not in control anymore.
I have to let things go and let things happen that were supposed to happen. Yeah. And it’s, it’s interesting because faith is such a critical part of this journey. And, and what’s interesting is it’s not limited to, you know, faith in a particular religion. It’s faith in something bigger that this desire in your heart is there for a reason.
Why don’t you share a little bit about your own faith journey? Like how did you develop that? Because that I know for a fact that that was a critical part in you getting to where you are today. Absolutely. Yeah. Um, I mean, I pretty much grew up Catholic, so that was already instilled in me, but you know, I just did it because I did it, you know, because my family, you know, believed in it.
And it’s just like, after a while, I just lost that relationship with God. I just kind of felt like, okay, I didn’t need him. I’m fine. I can do everything on my own, you know? And then it’s just like, And once this happened in my journey, it was just like, you know, it was definitely an eyeopening experience knowing that, you know, I can’t do everything on my own.
He’s the one that’s pretty much in control. And just then finally getting that relationship back with him and like restoring my faith in him, that really helped me in the process and getting to where I was because. In the beginning of the process, it wasn’t there. I was just like, I felt like I was acting like God.
I was just like, okay, I don’t need him. I don’t need anybody else. And but once like I started restoring my faith and relationship with him. I feel like that’s when I, you know, things started to turn around for me. Yeah. And you know, what’s interesting too, is because you know, your, your work is in medicine and you understand that there are certain you’re around that world, like all the time, you know, it’s really easy to get consumed by statistics and, and all of these things, because at this point, In your own journey, where you were at is you had two failed IVF cycles.
It would have been really easy for you to say, Oh man, you know, IVF is the big guns. Like I don’t have a chance here. Yeah, I’ve pretty much lost all hope. I was just like, I don’t know. I was just like, so lost. Yeah, but you got back on the horse. I got to tell us about that. Tell us about rebuilding that and, and how you got to where you are today.
Walk. Yeah. I just really felt like after I did the eight weeks with you, I felt like the main turnaround that I had was when I finally decided to do the one on one with you. And we started just working one on one together. And I just felt like at one point, just like a switch flipped in my head. And it was just like, you know what, I don’t need IVF, you know, I just felt like that wasn’t, I really started reflecting on myself of how I wanted this baby to come and I just really felt like IVF wasn’t the, wasn’t the way.
And. I really had to have a difficult conversation with my husband, which he felt like, okay, you have to continue with the IVF process. And I was just like, nope, I’m not going that route anymore. I’m done. And it’s just like, it’s not the money situation. It was just like, it was just affecting me too mentally, emotionally, physically.
And I just felt like I wanted to do, you know, more of a natural route. And then I started talking to my acupuncturist, which, oh, she’s such a blessing that I found. And she kind of connected me with a great doctor, and she told me about IUI. And I was just like, I never heard of IUI, like, nobody told me about it.
Like, none of the other doctors told me about it. And the moment I started doing more research on it and reading about it, I was just like, I just felt like, okay, this is the path that I need to, you know, give it a try. It was less invasive. You know, more, a little bit more on the natural side than the IVF process was.
So I just felt like I just didn’t give up, you know, and, and to tell you the truth, even to this day, like I’ve been working on my acupuncturist and she just says. Out of all my clients, like she helps clients get pregnant all the time. She was just like, I was the happiest for you because you never gave up, you know, and he just kept pushing and pushing regarding this whole situation because she knew how frustrated I was.
And she was just like willing to help me in every avenue that I could, that she could help me. I think that’s incredible. A gotcha because. This trust that you were talking about earlier, you’re living proof of that, because think about it, like you had to trust yourself. I mean, it’s crazy to me that you didn’t know about IU.
I let you were kind of shoved immediately into IVF without being given. And intervening step of IUI, like, you know, immediately shoved into a, a really invasive process that clearly didn’t work for you. And so when you were able to take a step back, you’d been doing the work to trust yourself. You had been working on what you’re, you were thinking and believing.
Then you gathered up the courage to believe and stand in the, in the reality that IVF wasn’t for you. So you made a fucking choice . Mm-Hmm. and said, I know what I want. I wanna have this baby as naturally as possible. Clearly you weren’t anti IVF ’cause you had done it. It’s just there was a feeling in you that it just wasn’t for you.
Mm-Hmm. . Yep. God’s like, yeah. Yeah. And just having that, you know, just, and having that faith in God too is just like. The more I started just believing in him and praying like things just people just started coming into my life that like, you know, was a total blessing. And I just felt like by having more of that faith, that’s the reason why they came into my life.
Wow. And you know, it’s so funny because getting to watch you and your transformation, there was a sense of peace that became very. Obvious to me as an observer when you were like, yes, you know, this is the way I want to go This is how I want to do it stepping into You know having a team of people that actually believed in you instead of people that were like she’s foregone conclusion There’s no help for her like that’s massive and even at one point I was just like because we started trying in 2018 and so You know, we’ve been already on this journey, like now, like over almost three years now, you know, almost four.
And a lot of like, even people around me were just telling, okay, well, you know, you can always adopt or you can do this, but I just, I was just like, I knew in my heart, I can do this. I was just like, that’s not the path for me. I appreciated their input, but I was just like. You know, and it just, at one point, even some people were just saying, you know, you know, why don’t you just, you know, give up and stuff and I was just like, nope, that’s not gonna, that’s not gonna happen, you know, no matter how much emotional, how much stress I was going under, I’m like, I knew I wasn’t meant to be a mom and I wasn’t going to give up.
So, well, and think about that. I got to, I mean, it’s a really heartbreaking reality that people are so willing to give up. I mean, it’s not like you were trying for 20 years. Like, you know, you’re, you’re just coming up on four years now. And it’s like, I’m only a few years deep in my dream. And because it didn’t work out one way, I’m supposed to give up on everything.
I don’t know. That’s not who you are. I don’t know. And, and, you know, I think one of the coolest things. During our work together was really getting you back to that fiery, like really clear a gotcha that you were born to be, you know, as a woman with big ambitions and big dreams. So talk to me about because something rather special happened as a result of you being willing to lean into your.
Desire to want to do this more naturally through I. U. I. Tell us how that worked out, you know, once we decided to do, you know, I. O. Y. And we found this amazing, amazing doctor that my acupuncturist definitely recommended us to us and, you know, he was just, he was really on board with us. I mean, but he definitely brought up the I.
B. F. You know, and I’m just like, I told him, no, I’m not doing I. B. F. I really want to try this. Try this IUI and, and then we went through, I mean, this kind of helped, but it was not, not the main part of the story, but I just want to share this with everybody is like, you know, we ended up finding out, you know, definitely the IUI was covered by insurance, which, which definitely helped us a lot.
And then they mentioned, Oh yeah, IVF is also covered by insurance. So I’m like, okay, you know, if this doesn’t work, then, you know, I’m definitely not, I didn’t close the door on that, but I definitely knew that I wanted to do IOI. And the, then I ended up finding out that. It wasn’t covered. IVF wasn’t covered by insurance and that, and I, for one second I was upset, but then all of a sudden I flipped a switch.
I was just like, you know what, that’s just the sign from God telling me I’m not meant to do IVF, you know, and so like I just pushed on to the IUI and You know, it, it took, you know, like four tries of the IUI until I, you know, we finally got pregnant, but I just, my doctor believed in us and believed in me and he never, he never gave up after the first IUI.
He was just like, let’s try again. Let’s try again. Like he didn’t give up on us. He didn’t give up on me and my dream of being a mom and through IUI. So it was just like, and he never bought up IVF again, like after we tried IUI. And so. I mean, the third one was, was little, you know, devastating because then up being a chemical, but it was just like, I knew our baby was close because it’s just like, you know, and just, and then after the fourth one was just at the end of the year, like literally it was December 30th was our insemination.
And it was just like, that was the way he was going to come in.
I love that. I love that. And so look, Agatha, you from two failed IVFs. To getting to the point where you’re working on yourself, you make a decision that you want to do less invasive treatment. You’ve learned to trust yourself. So you lean into that choice. And today you’re pregnant because of it. How far along are you?
I’m 26 weeks. Oh yeah. Can you believe we’re having this conversation? I knew it was gonna come. So it was just like I never, I never doubted it, so I just didn’t know how long it was gonna take, but it didn’t matter because I was gonna keep going until I was Pregnant. So, and that is such a powerful lesson and such a, an incredible mindset that you’re sharing, because there are going to be more people that doubt you than believe in you.
And it really takes strength of character and grit, like yours, Agatha to be willing. To say, no, I know in my heart, I meant to be a mom. I’m not giving up, you know? And it’s so funny to me because you basically had to call up that mama bear energy, even before your baby got here. Like you were acting like mama bear.
I love that. I love that. Well, so what would you want, like, if you think about all the things that you learned and who you became in this process, what are some of the most important things? That you would want the women listening to know, like, think about who you were back when you first found this podcast, like, what would you want the women listening to know?
I just want them to know to sit like, you know, just to believe in themselves and don’t like doubt yourself for one second. It’s just like, if you believe that you’re meant to be a mom, you believe that, that continue on that journey, you know, and it’s just like, no matter what it takes, like. You gotta keep going, you know, and it’s just, it’s a hard journey, believe me.
Cause it’s a lot of emotional, mental stress. But it’s just like, I wasn’t gonna, you know, I wasn’t gonna stop. And so I just want these people like, you know, a lot of people are going to give their opinions of, you know, what they believe is right for you, what do you have to do? But it’s just like, just believe in your heart, what you want to do.
And just follow it and just believe in yourself. And the baby is going to come when it’s supposed to come. That’s so good. That’s so good. And you know, you also became somebody a gotcha that was willing to take a chance on her. And I think that is such a powerful lesson as well because, you know, you were so willing to get out of your comfort zone.
Not just in asking for help, but being direct with people, telling people what you wanted, not just sitting back and thinking like you had no options. You know, you really became the woman who succeeded before you actually succeeded. Like you became that woman just. took control from a place of love and from a place of knowing herself.
And you’re 26 weeks along because of it. Well done. And I really felt like even after I third IUI, we went to Big Bear and that was an eye opening experience for us too. Cause I really felt cause We always talked about, you know, saboteurs, and like, I think the main one was, since I’m a dietitian, was diet.
Like, I just felt like, oh, if I don’t eat perfect all the time, it’s, it’s not gonna happen. And so it was just like, the moment I went to Big Bear, I was just, like, indulging and stuff that I haven’t indulged in, like, forever. And I just started feeling like myself, like, I was finally feeling like myself there, and I’m just You know, and I, when that one took, then I was just like, okay.
So I’m like, even now it’s just. I’m still in, you know, during the pregnancy. I’m still, you know, watching what I eat. But overall, if I crave something, I’m gonna have it. I’m like, I don’t care. I love it! I mean, Agatha, this is like, and I love that you’re sharing that piece because we get into this idea that if we’re not perfect, we’re not gonna have this baby.
I mean, You know, it’s crazy. And, and something that you said was super powerful in that, that you could just be yourself, you could, you were enough, like just allowing yourself to want what you want. I remember you sent me a picture a long time ago of you eating pizza. Like it’s like as if pizza was going to stop you from having your baby.
I know. I was just like, so like petrified to eat anything like that for me. They do that for a living. I tell everybody what to eat. And the moment like I eat what I’m not supposed to, I feel like a total hypocrite. No, because you know, vitamin J, joy actually matters, right? Like that, that is, I think that it’s so cool.
I mean, and the more you found yourself and the more that you let yourself feel alive again, and not a prisoner to this journey, boom. Baby boy comes comes in and I just I couldn’t be happier for you. Agatha. I mean, this is I remember when you sent me your, you know, your announcement. I was just like, man, this, this one hits home so much because I know what it took for you to get here and the grit it took for you to keep going in the face of what looked like terrible odds.
So thank you so much for sharing your story, Agatha. Like I, you know, Women all over the world are going to be sending you so much love for inspiring them. So thank you for your kindness and generosity and being on today. I appreciate it. And I wish everybody all the best of luck and, you know, and I’ll definitely be sharing once he’s here of all the pictures of him.
That’s awesome, lady. Thank you. Wasn’t Agatha’s story just incredibly inspiring? You know, it’s such an amazing thing when we see women take license and agency back on their journey and trust their heart. You know, Agatha, as she shared, I mean, she was done with IVF and didn’t have any judgment against it.
It just wasn’t right for her. And she wanted something that was less invasive. She trusted herself. She was developing her relationship with her faith. She was growing so much and she’s 26 weeks pregnant with her baby boy her way because she chose to listen to her heart. And not live in fear. It’s a stunning transformation and it’s really incredible because so many people would have given up if IVF didn’t work for them.
You know, the idea of taking a risk on something else and really trusting, you know, is pretty punk rock. And that’s why I love my ladies so much. They are willing to believe in In better, in having more, and really going for the dream and not living under the tyranny of statistics and long faced people who don’t believe in that.
So if you want to learn what I taught Agatha, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind, and body so you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are actually committed to success.
To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. 41 now in the first six months of the year. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you gotta keep it all in your strategy.
Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.