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From the age of 18, Dr. Victoria was told that she would have “issues,” with fertility, due to endometriosis and ovarian cysts. At 31 she was told she had the ovaries of a 45 year old! But, this bright, funny, and committed Family Medicine physician refused to give up. Learn how after decades of struggle, […]
The post EP193 Low AMH, Endo, + A Shady Fertility Past? Dr. Victoria Beat Them All! appeared first on Rosanne Austin.
Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.
I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.
It’s time to get fearless, baby. Fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 193. Low AMH, endo, and a shady fertility pass, Dr. Victoria beat them. All loves. I am so excited to be here with you this week, coming on the heels of the three part series on the baby making breakthrough.
We have yet another amazing story of triumph, a testimony of what it means to be fearless on the fertility journey with another one of my amazing ladies. And I got to tell you, Dr. Victoria’s story is really going to be one. That I think so many of you are going to identify with, because if you haven’t figured it out, I coach a lot of physicians.
I coach well, because all the women that I work with are lovably type A control, freaky professional women, doctors, lawyers, nurses, engineers, scientists of all kinds, teachers, entrepreneurs, women making an impact in the world. And sometimes we get really Stuck in believing the statistics, believing what the quote unquote experts say, and completely negating a constellation of other possibilities in our lives.
We get really stuck in the narrow focus of why we can’t as opposed to why we can’t. And this is why this work has proven to be so pivotal. For so many women because when you open up your belief system and you get beyond the five senses, you know, and you start to say, you know what, but I feel this in my heart.
Yes, this baby’s not here yet. Yes, I failed, you know, this X number of times. Yes, I’m whatever age or how many times you failed. When you start to look beyond that and pay more attention to the truth in your heart, opportunities, situations, different paths start to open up and Dr. Victoria is a prime example of that.
Because as you will hear, from the age of 18 she was told she would have issues, quote unquote, with fertility due to endometriosis and ovarian cysts. And at 31, she was told she had the ovaries of a 45 year old. Well, you’re going to hear how this woman, despite decades of being told the pregnancy experience probably wouldn’t happen for her, you are going to hear how things truly turned around for her.
And what I love about Dr. Victoria, whose specialty is family medicine, is She is the embodiment of yes, and. Yes, and. She knew in her soul that she was meant to be a mom. And as you’re going to find out, she became a mom in very interesting ways. But ultimately, it was on her heart. To have the pregnancy experience, and it’s funny because, you know, she did my program and within a year of doing my program, she was pregnant.
This just proves again why the mindset piece of the fertility puzzle is so critical. Yes, all the physical things are amazing, but if your thoughts are preventing you from taking the kind of action that’s going to make you fucking successful, How are you ever gonna get there? And, and it’s, and, and Dr.
Victoria is another example of how my ladies create their own luck. They bet on themselves and they do the work. And it’s funny because Dr. Victoria will tell you she was mad at me for a second. She wouldn’t listen to my podcast anymore. Cast aside the materials she learned in, in my program saying out this mindset shit doesn’t work, but she came back to it She came back to it because she knew that this desire in her heart to be a mom was there because it was meant for Her and she couldn’t get my voice out of her head.
And you know what? She’s gonna be holding her baby because of it Because she was willing to follow her heart. So, she is just one of my favorite, favorite, favorite stories. Because in the end, she didn’t give up on herself. And she didn’t give up on her baby. So, look, and just as a super quick reminder, we are going to be opening the doors to two things very quickly.
I’m going to be doing a four day challenge called Guarantee Your Fertility Success in 90 Days. Man, I’m super excited about this because this is content that is going to knock your socks off. We are, I mean, I am hell bent on 2023 being a banner year. We’ve had so many women get pregnant this year that I want to get to double that next year.
And I’m going to be sharing four simple steps for really guaranteeing your success. And if you don’t believe in my guarantee, well, you just show up and you’re going to see why I’m willing to stand by that. So, and the other thing that we’re going to be opening up very, very soon is enrollment for Fearlessly Fertile Full Throttle.
This is a 90 day program that starts January 1st. This is going to be one of the most Comprehensive and insanely good programs that I have ever done. It’s going to really knock your socks off. So, be on the lookout for your invitation to the 4 Day Challenge, as well as your invitation to be part of Fearlessly Fertile Full Throttle.
So, all of that being said, here is my conversation with Dr. Victoria. There you are! How are you? Oh my gosh! I am fantastic! I’m so Can you believe we’re having this conversation? I do and I don’t, but we’re just going to jump right in because this is like, I’ve been so excited all day to be talking to you because this is just an incredible, incredible story.
So, so why don’t you start love by just sharing a little bit about how you found yourself on this journey, what you do, how you found yourself on this journey and all that goodness. Yeah. I’ve been thinking about that. So where do I start? It really goes back a long time for me, but okay, so to me, this journey started when I was like, like a teenager, like, like to me, this journey started when I was like growing up now that I think about it.
Right. And that’s where I see it starting now. Not now that everything has happened and their journey has. Has ended not ended, but modified itself, right? Okay, so just a little bit. Nothing ends. Okay. So when I was when I was 12, my parents get divorced. I’m I’m originally from Argentina. I live in Buenos Aires, right?
My parents get divorced when I was 12. A couple months later, I get my first period, right? So I developed into a woman. And so I start puberty, you know, in a very difficult home. And there was a lot of It was a difficult divorce and it was, it was not good, but I was a responsible middle child. I was one out of four, so I took care of that situation like a, like an adult, right?
So that’s where my journey starts. And then about 18, I get an ovarian cyst, I get surgery, and then I get another one and I get surgery. So at a very young age, I get diagnosed with endometriosis, pretty high stage. And I started this journey off. I have, like, issues in my female system, right? Very heavy periods.
So I was told back then, so I was 18, 19, 20, that I was told back then by the wonderful medical community at the time that I was going to have issues with fertility, right? Back then, right? So young. And so I was like, okay, so that kind of stuck to me, unfortunately. So then around 24, I get another surgery for ovarian cyst endometriosis when I meet my husband, right?
So I meet my husband and my husband is from the U. S. and it’s my perfect chance to just like fly away. So everything, I fall in love with my husband and we have a beautiful, you know, relationship and I’m married to this day. But at the time I was 24, he was my chance to like grab my bags. and just leave, right?
So I grabbed my lap bags and moved to the U. S. and leave Argentina behind. I thought I was leaving it behind, but tried to leave it behind. And I, I was in med school. I’m a medical doctor. I do family medicine. I started residency in the U. S., in North Carolina. I’ve always been like a, like an A student, very responsible type, you know, so I, I, I sit for my exams in the U.
S., I get into residency, I do my residency, so ending residency, I’m close to like 29, that’s when we decide, well, let’s have kids, I’ve always wanted to have kids, my husband does too, we always wanted a family and kids, there was no doubt, right? So I stopped taking birth control because birth control, you know.
for years was controlling my endometriosis. That’s how it works, right? That’s how they stop all your hormones and that’s how you keep it under control. So I stopped birth control and My period is a mess. My endometriosis is a mess. I I never get pregnant And that’s where my journey starts again. I would say I start a journey on, okay, I’m not getting pregnant, but I kind of knew in the back of my mind because my history, they’ve already told me I was going to have issues by which is unfortunate.
Very unfortunate. Now that I think about it, they, they planted that in me so young, like you’re going to have issues. And then Anyway, no pregnancy. It takes me a couple of years. When I’m 31, I finally go to a fertility doctor. So it’s like two or three years. I remember they look at me like you’re young, but why did, why did it take so long to come to see us?
I’m like, yeah, I don’t know. I’m a doctor myself. I’ve tried. I was trying naturally anyway, fertility doctor, not the best experience, at least at first. They tell me your chances are so poor. You’re 31, but you’re, you have the ovaries of a 45 year old. Like you’re, yes, but all these numbers, right? At least I remember that way.
My ovarian reserve was 0. 000. I don’t even, I don’t know where my ovaries went, even though I used to get my periods every month. So it’s kind of rare, but so no ovarian reserve and lots of endometriosis. very low chances, even if we tried IVF, right? The highest, more sophisticated way of trying to achieve pregnancy, right?
So I remember crying in front of that doctor who didn’t even hand me a T next. And then my husband was like, well, when your husband is like Superman, he’s fine. He could get pregnant the whole city if he wanted, but you are like, great. I needed that contrast in my life. Anyway, so I was already working as a doctor in a medical office.
I met with another fertility doctor. They told me the same thing. Very low chances. You gotta hurry up. You have no eggs. We need to start right away. And those things are happening in life at the same time. So I had a cousin back home in Argentina who unfortunately passed away from breast cancer at 31, same age as me at that time.
Right? So that was that I came to Argentina to see her at the time. And, and she was also trying to conceive at the time. And there was a lot of doubts whether like all these treatments that she had done had interfered with her possible. No spread of her cancer and all these things and I, and I saw her so sick and dying and I was like, all of a sudden I got so upset with the medical world, so upset, so, so angry, like, they don’t know anything.
I’m not going to do any treatments. I’m going to, I have to, I have to find something else. So I decided to quit, you know, the doctor, not start any treatment. They gave him very poor chances anyway, and they were not very nice. So I started our journey of like looking everywhere else. So, and that was about for the following three or four years, I went to every single doctor that was not an MD.
So, you know, Korean, Chinese, Ayurveda, chiropractors, psychics, I drank all the vitamins, all the supplements, all the diets, all the yoga poses. All the everything I was like, anybody told me like what they did to get pregnant. I just run there. Anything that was not conventional, right? I was like, people get pregnant doing acupuncture.
So I would be there three times a week, you know, and I’m very methodical and I’m very responsible. So. So I tried everything and it was three, four years. It was a long time. And I remember, and I remember, okay, I’m going to find a special non conventional way of getting pregnant, because I know people get pregnant that way.
And even though they told me I have no chances, I’m, I’m going to try anyway. I’m going to try all these things. And of course, the non conventional docs, they tell you, no, you need to do this, something different, right? So I wanted to try everything. And it was very interesting because at the time it was a kind of a recently graduated.
family dog and I was starting my practice, so it almost felt like an experiment because I also learned a lot about diet, nutrition, herbs, vitamins, uh, Chinese, you know, conventional, Chinese traditional medicine and Ayurvedic medicine. So I almost started incorporating Into my own practice, right? Like it’s on to my own patients.
So it was like, this is a double win. Eventually I’ll get pregnant with one of them. In the meantime, I’m learning a lot of non conventional medicine, which I enjoyed a lot, right? I did the craziest things. And later on, I remember writing a list with, with your program on how many things I had done trying to get pregnant.
I was, my list is like 45 items, like endless. Anyway, the best, it was the best list ever. But, um, around year, fourth year, I was, I guess, 34, 35. My husband is like, I’m done with you because every time I would try something, I would try for three, four or five months, maybe not more than five months. And I would feel like I failed again.
I mean, I didn’t get pregnant with this treatment. I didn’t get pregnant with this herb. I didn’t get pregnant with this. With writing a letter to my ancestors and burying it in the cemetery, I didn’t get pregnant with, you know, the crazy things, but I, some people did, but I didn’t, right? I’m the one, I’m the one, I’m the special case that doesn’t get pregnant with anything, right?
Because pregnancy test after pregnancy test, all of them negative, negative, negative, right? So my husband said, I’m done with you. I don’t want to get pregnant. You are miserable. This is a horrible life. So it’s going to ruin our relationship. We’re going to adopt. We’re done. So he made me get off this.
infertility train, and get on the adoption train, I call it, because at the time it was a very good step for me, right? So the adoption train, to me, means it doesn’t matter how old you are, I don’t have to eat any certain way, I don’t have to drink anything, these social workers will give me a child, and it will be my child, and all of a sudden I was like, well adoption, it’s like, I guess adoption was my way, anyway.
So I get on the adoption train, five months later, five months later, they call me. My daughter was born. Come and pick her up. Beautiful baby girl. There you go. You’re a mom.
Very quick adoption, right? So I was like, this was it. Like I, I’ve done so many things. I know I had to do was sign up some papers to adopt and they gave me this beautiful, I had my first daughter. She was this beautiful, healthy baby girl. She was a day old. And It was like it changed, changed my life forever, right?
I was like, thank you. This was what it was meant to be. That’s why I never got pregnant. I get this beautiful baby girl. Okay. So about a month after my daughter was born and I was a mom, this is nuts. I mean, endometriosis symptoms start getting like wild, like terrible. With the change in diet and the change in lifestyle, I had also started to manage very well, like my endometriosis, my health, my heartburn, my migraines.
That was like, I’m the doctor I can match things like with diet and nutrition and all of a sudden it’s almost like I remember thinking is my body upset because I’m a mom even though he didn’t want to be a mom like and now all of a sudden I’m a mom. Endometriosis got wild and I would get this terrible pain, heavy periods.
Everything was back. I’m like, what’s going on? It’s so weird. I’m with my baby, right? So I thought, this must be a sign that, that I, that I’m, that I need to go back and try to get pregnant, right? I need to fix my endometriosis again. So I’m back to the Chinese doctor, back to the, I finally consult a specialist at the time we had, we were living in New York City.
Because all these specialists in endometriosis in the world, right, took me like four months to get an appointment, you know, I paid whatever I had to pay. I see this, this very experienced endometriosis guy, and he’s like, you’re full of endometriosis, there’s no way you will ever get pregnant. This is the way.
I’m like, I’m not here to get pregnant. I’m just, you know, I’m in pain. He’s like, yes, but you’re going to get pregnant. So I’m like, that would be nice because I do want another child, right? So they do surgery once again, surgery, pills, diet. I get back on that track. And again, back on disappointment track, like.
After a surgery, you get pregnant within the first six months. No, never pregnant. I never, never reused birth control, nothing but never pregnant. Okay. So then I’m like, okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Anyway, eventually my endometriosis calmed down. Eventually I signed up for another adoption. I wanted another child, I signed up for another adoption.
About, you know, two years later, my second daughter is born. Call me. There’s the baby who’s born in Pittsburgh. Come over, pick her up. So it’s kind of like we’re parents again. We drive to Pittsburgh, pick up this beautiful second baby girl. We’re parents again. I have my second child. I’m like, yes, I did it again.
I’m a mom, even though my body wouldn’t do it. I’m still a mom and I’m so proud of those. So beautiful. I’m This is I really felt bliss at the time because I had two kids. I was 38. I was psyched. They were healthy, they were beautiful. I felt so, I felt like I had succeeded somehow. Like I, I’m a mom and I may, I was able to do it.
Okay. And then , but then like about a year later, I would say my second daughter was one, my first daughter was four, like the family of four. You would say like, everything is great. Then this little, little thing starts, like, coming to my head again, like, Why, when did you ever get pregnant in the end? Like, what happened?
Why is it that your body never decided to get pregnant? Why is it, what happened with your eggs? All these questions start to come up again. And I had a very hard time sharing that with anybody because I thought, like, Okay, you’re a mom, you have two kids, you have a beautiful family. Why do you question everything again about your fertility, about why, about My husband won’t tell me.
So simple. We just had to have these girls. That’s why you never got pregnant. I’m like, I know. I know. I’m very grateful. Very grateful. But, you know, I still, I can’t believe I still never got pregnant. Right? Okay. And then at the time, we also decide to, uh, move back to Argentina. So I’m on these plans to, okay, I need to move back to Argentina.
I want my, my girls to grow up closer to my family. And it’s 2020 starting the pandemias. Pandemia starts, everything else goes nuts in New York and everywhere. And I’m like, no, no, no. I need to have my girls in your family. So we decide to move. And it gets highly postponed because it closed airports and so in the middle of this mix of feelings, I start therapy to to plan my return to Argentina, because I was very aware, but there was a reason why I didn’t want to live there at 24.
So I start therapy to plan my return. mentally. And then, and then I start, I turn 39, right? Turn 39. And I tell my husband, look, I have, I have a year to become, I guess, more of a risk patient for pregnancy. I do, I still want to get pregnant one day. I confess, I confess, I want to get pregnant. So let’s try again, just a little bit.
I’m not saying, I’m not going to go crazy on diets, crazy on things. Just, just, just, just try and see when I’m ovulating and let’s just try one more time, one more time, one more year, one more year. Like he’s like, fine, poor, poor thing. He’s like, fine. Okay. So in, in the midst of like starting to try again, I I find your book on Instagram and just the title was like, I never, I’ve done so many things and the title of you’re the reason you’re getting pregnant.
I was like, that’s the only thing I haven’t tried like investigating myself. Like I went to all these outside things to try to get pregnant, right? Things to take things to do, but I never looked much of inside like you are the reason it really stuck to me. I downloaded the PDF I read it in two days. I like swallow that thing like this is totally me.
This is totally me. And this is, this is What I hadn’t done in those three or four years of craziness, right? I’m like, this is me. Anyway, so I get an interview with you. It takes a while to get to, and then before the interview, I actually do the vision board because you described the vision board on your book.
So I sat one night and I cut, you know, magazines and everything. And I do the vision board. I put it on my desk and I’m like, okay, I have my vision board. I’m waiting for my interview with Rosanne, and then, and there’s no coincidences, the day of our interview, we have our interview together, to me you sound a little crazy, and a little pushy, and I’m like, I’m not sure this is for me, I’m not sure, and then I’m like, is this going to be another fail?
Right? Is this going to be another thing I tried off my 45 list? Are you going to be number 46? All this money and I’m not sure I remember trying a credit card. It didn’t work. So you tell me, don’t worry. Just try again tonight. And I’m like, uh, woman is really pushing me. Anyway, I hung out with you and my mom calls from Argentina and says, Victoria, I found a house for you that you should go see here near my house.
That is for rent. And I think that is going to work for you when you guys move to Argentina, you can rent this house near to us and, and this, this is a good opportunity, blah, blah. I’m like, okay, send me the link. Okay. She sends me this link and I look at this picture of this house. This house was on my vision board, the exact same house, the house, the house that I’m, that I, that I cut from a magazine because I had these real estate magazines from Buenos Aires that my mom would bring to me like when she would travel often.
So I used those magazines to do my vision board. I remember cutting a house saying, I think this house is near my mom’s. I’m just going to cut this representation, like I don’t want to live in Argentina. So that was on my vision board, right? And my mom sends me this link of the exact same house, exact same house that I was on my vision board.
And my mom, this is very creepy, very creepy. The house you just sent me was already stuck on my wall. It’s like wild, right? So wild. I mean, it didn’t even need to be so exact, but, but I was like, Okay, I need to sign up on this thing that this crazy woman is offering because it’s right. It’s like it’s too wild.
Okay, so I signed up and I start your coaching and oh my God, it was like the best thing ever. I started coaching with the group, you know, I that was September. 2020 or October 2020. I loved it, Rozan. I would, I would like, you know, when you’re a child and you want Saturday to come fast because it’s the weekend.
No, I wanted Saturday to come fast because you are meeting with our coaching team. And I, I loved it. I enjoyed it so much. I felt like this is my people, right? You feel like so connected and people living the same way. But there was one thing when I first started our meetings, I felt kind of embarrassed I’m gonna go to that, but I felt a little like, okay, this is a bit awkward because all these women, most of them don’t have kids.
Most of them are older than me. A lot of them are older than me. I was, uh, 39 and then, and then I have, I already have two little girls. I have two little girls and a family, and, and I, I want another one. You know what I mean? I want a pregnancy and I, I felt I shouldn’t be there. You told me, you told me. I share this.
And you said, even if you have 10 kids and you wanted an 11th, you still deserve to be here. I was like, thank you. You know, I felt, you know, so that’s when I started realizing, like, what’s in my head? Like, I don’t feel like I deserve this. I really didn’t, I started, I started seeing so many things from my story, from my past, from my attitude towards life during those coaching sessions.
I would type like crazy trying to get all the information, like a class, right? Back in med school, like no typing. And then I would listen to the recording. That was the best listening to the recording and even listening to my own voice. On those coaching classes and, and how it was a week when I started talking and then it became stronger and how, anyway, it was so worth it.
I felt so sad when my eight weeks were over because I wanted to meet forever with these women. It was such a wonderful experience, so it really. I think I, I started finding these missing pieces that I had never thought about before, and I started seeing them on my, all throughout my journey, right? Think about it, I, I started trying to get pregnant at 29, and I was 39, right?
I had two kids, I was a happy person, but I still like, to have this craving, and you told me, you have this craving for an experience, and it’s totally fair to have it, and I was like, you’re right! You’re right. Anyway, so, so much, so many of the things that you mentioned, like I remember the help and not only helped my journey to eventually for pregnancy, but helped a lot of aspects of my life so much.
So many things, like my career, my profession, my relationship with my parents, my, I don’t know, everything starts changing the way you see other people. The whole concept of lack and scarcity, right? The whole concept of I have, yes, and I want something else. The whole concept of I’m worthy of wanting more or wanting a successful life.
I realized at the time that I really just growing up in with this religious education. Somehow I misunderstood. I think that I had to carry a cross. If I carry a cross that Jesus did and died in the cross and carried this burden, I was a, I was a better person. Mm. And so my cross was my main infertility.
So almost like I almost wanted to stay there because I was a better person if I continue carrying this cross. If I was the person where no treatment to work, I was more worthy, I guess. Isn’t that interesting? I mean, isn’t that crazy, Victoria? I mean, like, not like you are crazy, but isn’t it interesting the way that we create identity around our suffering?
Like, that’s basically what you’re talking about, is you create this scenario where I’m only worthy of having what I want if I’m suffering for it. So it’s interesting how we create these stories and we, we tie our worthiness to suffering. It’s really interesting. Absolutely. I see it so clearly now, those years when I was 31, 32, 33, 34, drinking magic potions, I had identified myself as the non fertile, poor woman, everybody else around me getting pregnant except for me.
Almost, I wouldn’t say I liked it, but that was, that was me. That was, that was what it’s meant to be for me and I had to accept it. And I was stuck there. I was stuck there. Well, and it’s interesting the way that we feel more certain, at least that’s predictable, right? If, if Victoria is the one that can’t get pregnant, it’s predictable.
It creates a predictable future for us. So what did you start seeing happening through the coaching? Because you changed. You didn’t just change the way you thought about yourself. There were quite a few things that started to change for you. I think you even cut your hair. Yeah, so, yes, so I wear my hair very long for ever since I couldn’t remember.
And during the coaching, I cut it my short, like now, like how I have it, I cut it short, like. drastic. And I remember I showed up and you’re like, Whoa, girl, you’re like, you’re, you’re going through massive transformation. I’m like, really that much? Like I didn’t see it at the time, but yes, I wanted to be a different person.
I wanted to like, okay, I’m done with Victoria, the infertile, or the woman that suffers to be worthy or all the things that were stuck in my mind from a very young age. I want to be somebody else now. I’m ready to be somebody else. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And yes, it was at the time it was, it was short and intense.
And there’s so much information that I needed to digest. And I, it take me some. some months to go over all this digestion because it’s a lot of information and new ideas. I read a few books and the one, the funniest thing that the one that I, that I was the most, had the most impact on me was the Sermon on the Mount by Emmett Fox.
So the Sermon on the Mount explains the Bible, right, with a different perspective from the one I grew up interpreting. I learned the Bible from a Catholic perspective and the Sermon on the Mount gives me a different perspective. I’m like, this is cold. I was, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Like, I’m like, I can’t believe I never read this book before because it took all that guilt and all that unworthiness and all that.
You have to suffer. Like, that’s the way, that’s the way to go. And that was from a book from a pastor. It wasn’t you crazy pink lady. Tell me it wasn’t somebody else.
There’s so much that we learn by challenging these paradigms that we live by, you know, and think about it. You had been carrying since the age of 18, the story that having babies was going to be difficult for you. So you had. Well, to over 20 years of holding that piece of information, I mean, you, you got to tell me that this has changed the way that you, you work as a physician, because you’re probably really careful about what you say now.
100, 000%. I’m like a different, I’m a totally different person from when I started med school, from when I graduated residency. And again, there’s no coincidence, but then the pandemia happens, you know, COVID and all this crazy medical year, too, which also challenged a lot of my beliefs about, about medicine, about fear, about a ton of things as well.
So, yes, yes, I started changing everything, everything, the way I, yes, the way I see people, the way I What people I want to have relationships with and what people I’d rather not, like, you know, you get this sense, you start being more sensitive to different energies. And yes, pretty amazing. I, it was such a blessing, such a blessing.
And I, so I, so we finished our coaching, I guess, December 1st, December 20th, we grab our bags and I moved to Argentina, right? So it was also good timing, moved to Argentina with the whole family. Initially very excited. And then the first six months were not that easy. A lot of adaptation. And about the six month mark after your coaching, um, I’m talking to my therapist and I’m, I’m still, I have my goal ahead of me.
Like I will have another child because I have it so clear from the coaching, but all of a sudden I go back to like, maybe not, maybe I’m believing something I’m not. So I, I quit again. One more time. So I, I am subscribed to your list. I don’t want to listen to Rosanne or anything anymore. And I quit. I’m not going to get pregnant.
My therapist at the time who I really, you know, I had been very helpful at the time, but I think with this, she was an asshole. She told me like, You just need to grieve the fact that you want to be your family. You have a beautiful family with two kids. Like this is making you suffer and it’s making your kids possibly suffer.
And you need to let go of this idea that you want another child. Obviously it’s not going to happen. Like numbers, it’s not going to happen. 10 years of not ever using birth control, all these things that you try, like. Why do you continue torturing yourself? And I’m like, you’re right. I need to cry. And so I started this grieving process of not, and I actually, I covered part of my vision board with some sticky, with some sticky notes.
I’m like, no, this is not going to happen. Even though it’s on my vision board, it’s not going to happen. So I go into this gray, dark place again of like, okay, I need to say goodbye. I talked to my husband. I talked to some friends. I’m trying to grieve the fact that I wanted another child and I wanted to get pregnant, but it’s not going to happen to me.
And like, that’s how life is. Sometimes things don’t happen. Okay, it doesn’t last very long. One morning I wake up, I’m like, it’s not working because I’m trying to cry, I’m trying to grieve it, and the idea doesn’t get out of my head. And then Rosanne’s voice doesn’t get out of my head, and the sermon on the mount doesn’t get out of my head.
I can’t, I can’t. So the grieving dark phase was maybe a month or probably less. And all of a sudden I’m like, no, I can’t even get it out of my head. There’s something wrong with me. So I stopped talking to my therapist. I uncover my vision board, I take out the sticky notes, like, no, there’s a reason why this idea does not get out of my head, there’s a reason why it doesn’t get out of my head, I have to trust that, I can’t be that nuts, like, I can’t be that crazy, like, there’s a reason for it, right, so I get back on listening to your podcasts.
I happen to listen to a few ladies that were so helpful at the time. One of them was a physician and I was like, yes, this is starting to grow this joy. So I talked to my husband again and he says, I rather have you believe you’re going to get pregnant and happy than grieving and unhappy that you’re not going to get pregnant.
So it’s okay with me if you want to continue trying. He’s like, you’re a better, you look much better. Still trying. I’m like, okay, good. So I’m still going to try. So I signed up. I tried to sign up for adopting another child because I was like, okay, my body is going to get pregnant. It’s fine. Let’s adopt. I want another child.
Let’s adopt. So I tried to sign up. It doesn’t go very far in Argentina. The adoption system works differently. If you’re not a, an Argentine citizen, you can’t apply. And my husband is not, it’s a long process for him, like a five year process. It won’t happen. So they don’t let us apply. I’m like, fine, that’s okay, I can adopt here, and I’ll adopt somewhere else.
The only country that Argentina is connected for adoption is Russia. So I call Russia, I call all these people. Well, didn’t go very far either. American citizens are not allowed to adopt in Russia. I’m like, great. Okay, fine. I can adopt in Russia. I can adopt in Argentina. Okay, fine. But I have something in me.
I’m like, it’s fine. This baby’s coming anyway. Baby’s coming anyway from somewhere. I already tried to get it out of my mind and I couldn’t. I made a huge effort to get this out of my mind. And I couldn’t, so I’m, I’m going to stick with it a little bit longer. Okay, fine. This baby’s coming from somewhere. I sit down for dinner.
This is November last year, November, 2021. It’s been a year from your coaching. And I remember the year mark for your coaching was pretty big, you know, and I was like, Oh, I’m at the year mark of the coaching. It’s fine. It’s happening. It’s happening. I sit down with my friends for dinner, and one of my friends says, Okay, you can adopt from Russia.
You can adopt from Argentina. Why don’t you adopt an embryo? I’m like, What? I’ve never heard such thing. Nobody ever offered me that option. And she’s like, Yeah, look into it. People adopt embryos instead of whatever other treatments. Okay, so I that night I could fall asleep. I’m googling adopting an embryo.
What is that anything? So I finally call a fertility clinic here like a few blocks away from my house. They say I need an appointment and I, I feel I’m a little bit, I’m going backwards to that medical world that I had rejected back at the time. Like I had said, like they can’t help me. Doctors don’t know anything.
You need to go unconventional because the phone is like, hi, I need doctor’s appointment. Yes. Fertility doctor. Yes, please. Appointment. Okay, fine. And I walk in there with my husband and I say, uh, Dr. Fertility, I want to adopt an embryo or something of the sort because I want to have another child. So they look at my history and everything and the doctor initially tells me, Oh, it’s going to be tough for you to get pregnant.
I’m like, I know, but I want to adopt an embryo. So I don’t need my eggs. And he’s like, Oh, okay. He smiles really, he gets so excited. He’s like, I have like a hundred embryos already given up for adoption, waiting for you. He’s like, no problem. This is super easy. Like, you’re not old, you’re not, you’re, you can do this.
And that’s when it, that’s when it finally, like, came to me so clearly, like, this is how my baby’s coming. Like, so clearly. Because the doctor was, like, smiling, like, yes, of course, I have all these embryos ready for you. We just pick one, you come whenever you want. Adopting an embryo is an easier process.
I’m doing the whole IDF, right? Because you don’t, you don’t need you or your husband. You just need to go and bring up an embryo. Right. So he’s like, pick a date. I’m ready when you are. I’m like, okay. And so I look at Nathan, my husband, I’m like, Let’s do it. And he’s like, Oh, okay. Okay. And, um, so I do some testing.
I do some blood work, whatever they asked for. And then March 2022, March 2022, I go in for my transfer of my embryo. In the meantime, I live so close to the fertility clinic because I chose the closest one because it’s convenient. And every time I drive by I’m like, Hey little baby, um, I know you’re there.
I’m getting things ready for you to come in. I know you’re there. It’s so clear to me in the end. I know you’re there. I’m coming in a little bit. I just need an appointment on a certain day of my cycle and I’m coming to get you. I would drive past so often, right? So the day I go in for my transfer, I walk into the clinic, I’m like, Hi, I’m here to pick up my baby.
You know, it’s somewhere in this building, frozen. I was like, so certain. I’m like, I’m here to pick up my baby. And I’m just Let me know, you know, and so I get that transfer done. It’s very simple, very easy. I, they had me rest the next day, which was the best day of my life, watching Netflix all day, which you don’t get to do when you have two kids, right?
Just resting there and I’m like, maybe I brought you home. You’re not in that clinic anymore. You’re right here. You’re right here. And then on day 10, after the transfer, I think, yeah, day 10, you had to go for a blood test. And then on day nine in the evening, I’m like. I’m going to take a pregnancy test just for fun because I never had a positive one.
So I find an old expired pregnancy test. With my, my bathroom expired pregnancy tests and I run it in the evening. This is all you don’t have to do, right? You have to do them in the morning and positive right away. Right. Prospective positive pregnancy test. I was like, after 12 years of like. You know, and the funny thing is I wasn’t even that surprised.
I was like, yep, you’re here. I leave it on the next to the sink and I go and take a shower. I don’t even run to my husband or cry or scream or anything. I was like, yeah, there you are. I kind of knew it. I knew it. I knew it. It was such a long journey of, of seeing the past the months before the transfer. I had this certainty, like, it has to be this, it has to be some way.
So, yeah, positive pregnancy test on the stupid expired, um, stick. Victoria, you’re living proof of what you hear me say all the time. The desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. Think about it. Yeah. Think about this. Think about what you’re talking about right now, woman. Like, think about what happened when you allowed yourself, you stopped playing games and pretending like you didn’t want this.
Mm hmm. Absolutely. It changed my identity, honestly, I think. I changed the way I saw life in general, I saw myself, like I, I was a different, I walked into a fertility clinic in March and I was a different person from two years prior or from, I was a different person. I was like, and amazing. And that, and that’s it.
And now I’m, and I’m 31 weeks. Pregnant 31. Okay. Like let’s do the math here. 18 told it’d be difficult for you to ever get pregnant. Went on like that for 10 years, trying all this stuff. You adopt two beautiful baby girls and your heart is still telling you, I love them so much. They’re perfect for me. And I want more.
And then you get mad and you’re like, fuck all this. Like, I don’t need any of this. I don’t need to hear Roseanne’s voice. Except you started hearing it again when you actually listen to your heart, you hear like your, your mom says, we got this house, like, I mean, all this stuff, like, and then your friend tells you, Hey, what about embryo adoption?
And boom, like when you get out of the way, look at what happens. Like, and like Victoria, like my head almost fell off. Of my neck when you were saying you walked in there and driving by like, Hey, baby, I’m coming to get you. You know, I mean, like, who are you? Like, who is this woman from suffering to 31 weeks pregnant?
Like seriously, that’s a massive transformation. It is. It is. It’s huge. I mean, what would you want the women listening to know? Because there’s, like, you’ve been dropping bombs this whole time of, like, nuggets of information and, and so many powerful things. But if you were going to narrow it down and say, Look, here’s what you have to know.
What would you tell these women? I think this is what you say. You’ve said like 100, 000 times. So there’s a desire within you to be a mom and it comes from it has to come from the universe. It’s not you. It’s not. It’s not just you like coming up with an idea of like, I want to buy a new pair of underwear.
It’s not you. It has the force is stronger than you or you are the universe or whatever you want to call it. It’s so strong That I think that the best way of addressing is just trusting in this, this force that coming that is coming to you. And then, and then, and then life will will show you the way eventually, because we want to control how it’s going to happen and when we At least I used to think I had to be, I was in charge of making it happen, like all my decisions and I was in charge of, I was in charge of it.
This baby’s going to come because I’m going to do this and that and this, and I’m a doer, right? And I’m a doctor and that’s how we’re trained. But, but this is goes way beyond, went way beyond me. This was like a strong desire and it was going to happen eventually. I just had to trust it. And in the meantime, Maybe enjoy life a little bit more because, because this identity I had put on myself as the sufferer was not the most pleasant time, right?
Yeah, unfortunately. But you also had to be the woman that was willing to take the action because you could have told your friend, Oh, I don’t need embryo adoption. That’s not me. That seems too extreme. I mean, like. You could have said any number of things, but there had to have been something awake in you to be willing to take that action.
What do you think that was? Well, because my old, let’s see, my old me would have said like, that’s another treatment that won’t work for me. Like that’s another, that’s going to be another thing on my list of these things didn’t work for my pregnancy because I’m that person who’s meant not to get pregnant.
Like I have, that was my, that was my identity. That was, that was me. I was, uh, I guess, yeah, that I have identified myself. I wanted other people to look at me and say, Oh, poor Victoria. She doesn’t get pregnant with any. So when I stepped out of that identity, like I, I left that costume aside and I said, well, maybe, yes, maybe this will work.
Actually, no, something will work for sure. Something will work for sure. I stopped crying when I would get my periods because if you see your period as a sign of failure, you’re still in that identity of like suffering and I’m the victim. I’m the one that things happen to me. Another period is like, painful and horrible.
But all of a sudden, it’s like I would see, I would get my period and be like, it’s okay, another month just to get ready for this baby that is coming. It’s coming. I, for some reason, the certainty dropped on me. And I guess it’s because I went back and forth so many times. I guess I resisted it. I resisted it so much at the, at the time that I quit Rosanne.
I call it the dark moments where I quit the whole Rosanne system. I resisted it so hardly, so hardly, and it’s still like, I still couldn’t break, I still couldn’t do it, um, was still within me already, growing within me. So, so I think if, if you, if you’re certain in your mind that this desire. It’s coming from a higher place, then it doesn’t matter when you get your period.
It doesn’t matter how many treatments you do. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore because you’re so certain that this baby is meant for you. Right, right. You know, and it’s interesting too. I mean, I, I tell women this all the time. I only work with women that I believe in. Can you see why I pushed you?
Can you see why I wasn’t tolerating your nonsense and why I refused to listen to excuses? Like. When you’ve had that fire in you, like I did for my son, you can see it in other women and you can see it from a mile away. So the fact, all of the endometriosis, 0. 0 AMH, all of these things, it was not relevant to me.
What I was listening to was your heart and what I was listening for was the fire and I, and I heard it loud and clear and I’m so freaking glad that you did too. And you stopped being silly and trying to ignore it because today you’re 31 weeks pregnant because you were willing to listen to your heart.
It’s incredible, Victoria. I mean, your story is It’s, it’s such an incredible way to show other women the power of tenacity, the power of resilience, and the, the willingness to go the distance. Do you see that? Mm hmm. Yeah, it feels really nice to be on this side. I’ve heard so many, so many stories. And at first I would hear them thinking that won’t happen to me, because I’m not that person.
And then, but this past, I guess this past year, I would listen to the podcast thinking, Oh, that’s me too. You know, that’s the next me. I’m the next number. This year you started counting your, you know, your pregnancies. And I’m like, I’m going to be next. I’m going to be next. Yes, it’s incredible. You know, and I mean, and what a massive shift, Victoria, because you went from that can’t be me to I’m next.
I mean, what a powerful mantra that is. I’m next. I’m next. I mean, you just gave every woman that’s listening to this from all over the world, her brand new mantra. I’m next. So is there anything else you would want the women listening to know? So coming today to tell my story, you know, and I wish I would tell it in like five years from now because a lot of things do sink in with time, right?
And more time and more time. But I realized that Okay, you’re not getting pregnant for a reason. You’re one of these women whose struggle is getting pregnant, which is not all women. Some of us have this struggle, and this is a struggle that is meant for you. And then, so, so this struggle has, has made me do things that made me who I am today, right?
And made me the doctor that I am today, and made me the mom that I am today, and the wife that I am today. And the daughter because I started my story when I was 12 and my parents got divorced and I, and I went through all that difficulty and I escaped my country and I came back. It’s everything is related.
Everything is related this like this. Again, there’s no coincidence. It’s like, I’m certain that. Returning to Argentina, confronting, you know, my past, confronting my parents and, and I’m trying to reestablish here again and Forgetting my story back home was huge and, and again, everything is connected and there’s no.
So, I guess, pregnancy that’s not happening, but then let’s look back. So, what else, what else is, is not, in my opinion, what else you have to dive in a little bit deeper in our lives like. What else happened that now pregnancy is not happening as soon as I want it to happen. Does that make sense? So, yeah, and I could talk for hours about my personal psychology, you know, and history, but I think the universality of this is that, hey, you can be doing all the physical things you can be doing all these things for your body.
But if you’re not taking care of you and you’re not getting inside and taking a look at what’s, you know, what’s going on within you, you’ve got a gaping hole. In your approach, because this was the right baby at the right time for the right woman that that was you and you had to be so many things had to line up for you to be the person that was able to receive.
Remember, conceiving is all about receiving. You had to be in a place that you were even able to receive this child because Victoria, it didn’t have to work the first time. But look, it was like, boom, it’s like, as soon as you were ready, this baby was ready. It happened easily. You actually found another physician who was smiling, as you said, saying, Oh, this will be straightforward.
Hey, we’re going to do this. Everything lined up. Yeah. And I was eating ice cream happily the night before, you know, and I was like, yes. There was no so much effort behind it and so much suffering behind. Yes, yes, absolutely. Yes, you allowed this blessing to come in and you’re like the poster child for receiving right now, Victoria.
And when you sent me that text message telling me you’re pregnant, I almost, I was freaking out. I was like, Oh my gosh. I’m like, I cannot wait to hear this because it’s such, because I know. You know, the changes that you had to make to be able to receive this. So thank you so much woman for sharing this with the women that are listening, because what you’re sharing is that.
You were willing to get out of your own way, and the minute you got out of your own way, and you 100 percent owned the fact that you wanted to have the pregnancy experience, you wanted all this, it was a yes and, yes you have your beautiful daughters, and you wanted more, and you wanted everything that your heart desired, look at what just happened.
So thank you for sharing that woman. What a blessing it is to have you here and you deserve all of this happiness. And I’m just. So excited for you. So happy for your family and just honored to have to be able to share in this story. Thank you. Thank you. I’m so excited too. And I’m having a boy by the way.
Oh my God, what are the chances you get to round out your family to girls? That’s what I wanted. Yeah, I wanted a boy. So it was going to be a boy. This is incredible. This is absolutely incredible woman. So thank you so much, Victoria, for sharing this and we’re all sending you so much love. You’re an incredible inspiration and thank you so much.
Love’s wasn’t Dr. Victoria’s story. Just incredible. I just, Oh my gosh, I get goosebumps listening to that and hearing all of these things all over again. And it is exactly why I do this work. It’s for women like you, it’s for women like Dr. Victoria, it’s for women, every single woman that you’ve heard on this podcast.
You have got to understand that when you get out of your own way, when you stop making what you want wrong, and when you allow yourself to believe more in the truth in your heart than the bullshit that you see outside around you, incredible things can happen and it all begins. With the way you think and the, the beliefs that you are entertaining and look, if you want to learn what I have taught women all over the world, every single woman that you’ve heard on the podcast, every single woman you see with the P sticks on Instagram, we’ve had 67 pregnancies this year alone.
And those are just the ones we know of. We have just a few weeks left in this year. What you do in the first 90 days of the new year are going to be critical. It is going to set the stage for the success that you want to create. Not only next year. But ultimately in the years to come, because you’ve got to think big, you’ve got to think not just about getting pregnant.
It’s about staying pregnant and it’s about being the mom you truly desire to be. And it all begins with the way you think. And if you want to be part of my fearlessly fertile, full throttle program, Or any of the other programs that I offer. Get off your ass and get her done. Because my Fearlessly Fertile Method family of programs is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months, just like Dr.
Victoria, and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body. So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there.
My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. We got the receipts, baby! And their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time.
Change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying, Hell yes!