EP216 Excuse Buster: Other People

One of the most heartbreaking ways I see women sabotage themselves on this journey is by living under the tyranny of what other people think about their dreams and choices. If you are holding back in any way, not asking for what you REALLY want, or are afraid of pissing people off, don’t miss this. AND this is the episode we tie this 3 part series up in a neat and awesome bow!

Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 216, excuse buster, other people. Mama, you made it to episode three of this series, and I am super fucking proud of you. What we are covering in this series is not easy shit. We are quite literally going head to head with the garbage people use to murder their dreams.

And you changing your beliefs about those things will guarantee you will be looked at like a weirdo in your circle. So, bravo! Weird is a side effect of awesome, as my ladies hear me say all the time. You know, but it makes you the weirdo that no longer buys their own bellyaching. And looks for solutions instead of excuses.

So don’t be surprised if the people around you wonder if you’ve joined a cult or are high on the wacky tabacky. People will judge and you may even see some of the most negative of those around you chastise you or just fall out of your life. This reality makes what we’re talking about it this week.

Exactly what you need to hear. We’re going to go for the jugular when it comes to the third excuse in the trifecta of mediocrity. Other people. Said another way, what other people think. Now before we get into the meat of this content, you know, I really kind of want to go Back up the bus a little bit for a second because I wasn’t kidding when I say that I’m really proud of you.

It takes a lot of courage and a lot of guts and a lot of grit to be able to take what I have been sharing with you over the past couple weeks. It’s, it’s not easy. And a lot of people get really defensive and possessive of their excuses and see it as a full on personal attack. That’s not what it is at all.

It’s basically like grabbing somebody that you really care about by the shoulders and shaking them, saying, You know what? There is better for you. I want you to know that there is better for you. You are so much better than this. Right? And, and that’s really the spirit that I have approached this entire series with.

And, you know, I get that, you know, people are going to be at varying levels of openness to this topic, which is why I gave as many caveats as I did in the first episode in this series, episode 214. I’m really excited for you. If you have made it this far and you’re still listening and still open, even if you’re, you know, you’re a little stung by a few things, It is so good to feel the sting now so you can finally get out of your own way on this journey.

Look, we all do it, but you have a chance to change it, to find your way, to be the crab that actually makes it out of the pot, okay? If you’ve ever heard that analogy of, you know, when you’re trying to make yourself better, you’re like the crab that, you know, is crawling out of a boiling pot, and there’s other crabs below you trying to keep you down.

Be the crab that makes it out of the fuckin pot. And that’s basically what I’m trying to teach you here in this series of three. Or at least giving you a place to start. Cause like I said, this is not easy, but it not being easy is not an excuse either to not do this work. If you are committed to being a mom, here’s why investing your time in this episode is smart as fuck.

What other people think of you changing your mindset or making the investments that you make in mindset with time, money, behavior, and all of the other great things that you’re doing on this journey to call in your baby is none of your fucking business. Okay, what’s interesting here is this excuse of other people for not working on your mindset or not doing the things that are going to help you succeed on this journey and showing up as your best is perhaps the most insidious excuse.

Money is the lamest, quote unquote, other people. Is the most insidious and particularly cunning because it ties into our desire for kinship and love. If you remember episode 214 when I shared the idea that we connect and find community in our excuses, right? Like, look at the kind of excuses that you make with your closest friends and you guys just sort of tolerate it.

Like, it’s not typical for us to be like, you know what, you’re full of shit right now. I mean, unless you have cultivated that kind of a culture in the relationship. Most of the time we just kind of go teeheehee, I so get it, and then you just move on. You don’t really call out the people you care about and say, you know what, you’re better than that.

So we just, it’s that whole go along to get along type of thing that I was describing in episode 214. And, you know, we connect and find community in our excuses, and this is tied deeply to the desire to fit in, to be looked at with respect and esteem, and to feel like you’re part of the group. But here’s the deal.

If the other people in your life don’t believe in possibility, only see limitation, disparage those that seek to rise above their current circumstances, and other expansion strangling perspectives, you have to ask. Are they actually your people? Now, this is when I will hear women make excuses for those around them and start negotiating down from their dreams, telling themselves that if those around them don’t agree with their viewpoint, they won’t be loved.

It’s scary shit, but at the same time, what’s it costing you to allow those limited opinions about you and what’s possible for you when it comes to having this baby have so much power and authority in your life? If you are listening to this podcast and it’s resonating, it’s because you hear truth, even if that truth is at times hard, you know you can be And do better, even if that’s different from what the people around you believe.

Change scares people. People cling to what they know to feel safe, even if what they’re clinging to might be a sinking fucking ship. And let me be clear, you growing past the way your circle thinks doesn’t make you better than them. They may accuse you of thinking of that and you know, but here’s the thing, it’s just a defense mechanism.

It just makes your awareness different. That’s it. Which brings me to something that I must say, people who truly want the best for you will challenge you to leap for your dreams. The people that want you to be the same person as you were five years ago demand suspicion. You staying the same is more for their comfort, not your happiness.

And most likely they are scared that your advancement will shine light on what they didn’t have the courage to do in their life. Not that you are shining that light intentionally. It’s just what happens when When we see other people’s success, an untrained mind will immediately go to comparison and despair.

That’s the untrained mind for you in action. You can choose to do something different. This unintentional challenge to their worldview has nothing to do with you. So keep moving forward, mama. It stings, but it’s true. When it comes to mindset and the excuse of other people, here’s what you need to know.

Other people don’t live with the ache you feel in your heart for this baby. I don’t care what the fuck they say, they don’t. No matter how down they are, how long you’ve known them, and the fact that they might be your partner doesn’t change that one bit. Your pain is yours, and it is therefore your responsibility.

You are responsible for doing what it takes to address that pain. Get pregnant and live the life of your own fucking choice. Another thing is that you have to understand that you can love someone and not agree with them. You can love someone and not let their fear and limitation negatively impact your life.

Love is not laying in the ditch with someone. It is being the motherfucker outside of it with open arms when they are ready to get up out of it. We don’t have to keep pace with our partner, friends, or family. If you’re listening to this podcast, you are on a trajectory that will probably lead you to begin to move past them, and that’s not a bad thing.

Nor is that an indictment of the people you start to move from. If they choose, they too can also begin their mindset journey. They can begin to change if they choose it, but you can’t wait for that day. Your responsibility is to follow your heart. Love that demands staying the same isn’t love. The last thing I want to bring to your attention here is that we are all held accountable in the end.

We are held accountable. Not to some emotional or jealous God who may want to punish us. I don’t see it that way at all. You can if you want. Rock on with your bad self. I see it more as, at the end of our lives, We make our transition out of the physical form and step into the loving embrace of the infinite.

When we do that, we know whether we lived out our full potential. We know if we kept our word. We know if we honored the gift of being alive fully. We came here to live, mama. You know, you know better than anyone else. If you played small and squandered your life, my goal is to meet my maker joyfully exhausted from having lived a big Full life, full of pure joy with my family and friends and in service to the women I have the honor of being with in my work.

End of life is a great equalizer. You either lived full out or you died scared of your own shadow, crushed by regret. Can you see why worrying about what other people think is such an extraordinary waste of time? I know that what I am sharing with you here Is about to burst the bubble of the Hallmark movie kind of immature version of love that we are often fed, but that shit’s fiction.

It’s not an ideal. That kind of softcore propaganda is how the powers that be influence us to be disappointed in and disillusioned by our relationships. Relationships can be messy at times, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t love. Before we get into the exercise that I want to share with you today to round out this three part series, I want to remind you that you are whole and worthy of love as you are today.

100 percent and completely. You were born worthy. What other people think is truly irrelevant, that’s not just a bumper sticker. It’s not something cute to say. At the end of the day, we are responsible. We will be held accountable and you will find your tribe. You will find your circle. It may look different at times, but those are the ride or dies that you really want around you.

Okay? I know that this is not easy, and, you know, in becoming more and more aware in my own life, like, I had to come up against a lot of my own fears so many years ago, like, oh my gosh, well, if I, if these, if I don’t call these people family, or if these are no longer my friends, like, where am I gonna find my people?

But I assure you. They’re out there. You’re not the only one, I assure you. But once you lift your awareness out of the dark cloud and fog, that reeking stink of limited thinking, you’re gonna open your eyes and see so many like minded people all around. Big hearted, kind, generous people that have no baggage with you.

And that legitimately want to see you happy. Okay, this is, this is massive. So I’m going to give you an exercise that consists of three questions right now to really, as I said, begin to round out this series. So be sure to follow along with a worksheet that we created by now. You should know the worksheet if you want it.

is in the show notes or is in the email that announced this episode. Don’t overthink, just answer the fucking questions and trust your gut. So here is the excuse buster worksheet, how I let other people hold me back. So the first question is, who am I currently afraid of pissing off? Okay, super simple.

Just think about it, like, who are you currently afraid of pissing off? Are you afraid of pissing off your doctor? Are you afraid of pissing off your partner? Your friends? Your, your family? Your, you know, your mother? Like, who are you afraid of pissing off? Like, really lean into that. It’s very telling. Who are you afraid of pissing off?

And, and why? Why? What’s the story that you’re telling about what happens when you piss those people off? Very telling. May open your eyes a little bit. Question number two. What story am I telling that keeps me trapped? What is the story that you are currently telling about the other people in your life that is keeping you trapped?

You know, are you like, well, you know, I really have been wanting to do this, you know, coaching thing or, or I’ve been wanting to get help with X, Y, Z, but, you know, what if people think I’m crazy if I do that? I mean, only rock stars and movie stars have coaches, right? Or, you know, unless I’m in the Olympics, it’s like, what?

You know, it’s all made up. All of that shit’s made up. Anyone who is committed to success has a coach. In their life, whether they realize it or not, whether they admit it or not. Okay, so what are the stories that you’re telling that are keeping you trapped right now, particularly when it comes to what other people think?

And number three, if I keep this shit up, where will I be a year from now? Now that’s a big one because if you continue to allow and let’s just use an example that’s easy, like let’s say that your partner doesn’t want to do IVF and look, no judgment on it. No judgment, everybody gets to have their own opinion on that, and I don’t think IVF is the answer for everyone, so I’m not coming from that perspective.

But let’s say you want to do IVF and your partner doesn’t. If you continue to be afraid of what your partner thinks, and you want to try IVF, where are you going to be a year from now, if you don’t address that? Really think about that. Are you going to let somebody’s opinion stop you from being a mom?

Now, they may no longer be the parent of your child, right? But are you honestly not going to get the medical care that, that you may need? In your unique situation, just because somebody doesn’t want to do that, and you have to ask yourself, why do they not want to do that? Is that opinion based on anything in reality, or is it just based on fear, lack, or scarcity, right?

So, even if you don’t have a situation where your partner is in opposition to, you know, the treatment that you want to do, like, Are you going to let somebody’s low vibe stop you from doing what you want to do in this life? Because at the end of the day, your partner has their life and you have yours.

Indeed, you have created a life together, but you’re still responsible for yourselves. Okay? So kick that around. Kick it around. And if you want more, look, the smartest thing you can do when you are not getting the results you want on this journey is you got to take a look at your mindset because success on this journey starts there.

Be part of the magic of the women around the world who are experiencing incredible results and are bringing joy to each of their cycles by being part of my signature live coaching program, the fearlessly fertile method. And it is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months. If that is your goal, you need to be applying to this program.

And you better be someone who says hell yes to covering their base’s mind and body. So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there.

My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success in this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. It’s been an honor to be with you in this excuse buster series, my loves, take the lessons that you’ve learned from this series and really ask yourself, how can I bust up my excuses this week?

Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.