EP233 The #1 Way Women Self Sabotage On the Fertility Journey

Having spent the last 9 years coaching women to fertility success, I’ve learned a LOT. In this episode, I am going to share the #1 way I see even the most well intentioned women miss the mark on this journey, in their relationships, in their work, and in their lives in general. It’s spooky and avoidable. Don’t like your current results? Turn this one up.

Want the worksheet that goes with this episode? CLICK HERE

Hey Gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 233, the number one way women self sabotage on the fertility journey. Mamas, this is part two in this quick hit series. That I’m sharing with you over the summer because everyone got summer brain in order to kind of you know nudge you even more with a slightly hard hitting but short not overwhelming nugget of awesome that’s really going to help you move the needle on your journey and if you listen to last week’s episode you know that this is basically a series of questions that I’m sharing with you and ideas that I’m sharing with you for you to really take Wherever you’re at right now, either sipping a margarita somewhere, hopefully, or sitting by the pool, hiking, whatever you’re doing this summer to have a little bit of rest and relaxation that even amidst all of that, that you’re taking time to consistently work on yourself in this process.

And that directly relates to what we’re going to be talking about throughout this series, because success comes down to you. You are the cornerstone of your success on this journey. And if you are not looking at what I’m presenting in this series, you’re really kind of fucking missing out. And in this episode, we’re talking about the number one way in which women self sabotage on their fertility journey.

And look, having spent the last nine years, Coaching women to fertility success. I’ve learned a lot, learned a lot. Haven’t seen it all. I would never say I’ve seen it all nor like, do I ever want to be in that position? I like being surprised. I like growing and I like growing with my ladies. But you know, I’m going to share the number one way that I see consistently women really position themselves for failure on this journey, and it’s really kind of scary.

Even the most well intentioned, educated, big hearted women can miss the mark if they’re not careful about this. And, you know, it’s kind of spooky, but 100 percent avoidable. So if you don’t like your current results, you got to turn this one up and I’m going to mention this again because it’s really important if you have been sitting on the sidelines about applying for my fearlessly fertile method, eight week signature program, the time to get your application and truly is now because starting my fourth book and the team and I are going to be shifting gears and if you want to start thinking, believing and taking action like a woman who succeeds, We have over 200 plus episodes now.

You have heard the stories, you’ve been inspired by the testimonies and the triumphs. Your success, as I said before, comes down to you and the decisions you’re making, and if you’re not getting the results that you want, that is an indicator of the kind of decisions that you’re making. Because you’re either moving forward or you’re sliding backward on this journey.

There is no in between. Life keeps moving and so must you on this journey. Chances are, if you don’t like your results, you’ve got blocks between you and your baby and let’s unfuck that. So get your application in. We’re going to put a link to that application in the show notes, along with a worksheet that goes with today’s episode.

So get your application in like, what the fuck are you waiting for? This, this shit’s changing women’s lives. And if you want your results to change. Time to make that change, baby. Time to get fearless. Fearlessly fertile. So let’s move on to zero in on today’s topic. What exactly, Roseanne, is the number one way that women self sabotage on their fertility journey?

What’s interesting about this is, yeah, I’m going to share this within the context of the fertility journey, but I promise you it’s showing up in every other aspect of your life. In one way or another, you’re welcome. And it’s this. It’s women getting into the habit of saying no to themselves. Really think about that.

The number one way in which women self sabotage on this journey, and ultimately in their lives, is by consistently saying no to themselves. Okay? Because here’s the deal about saying no to yourself. It gets real easy. You start doing it in one aspect of your life and it will get easier and easier. The more you do it.

Okay. And it’s interesting because, you know, I hear from women all over the world talking about these amazing, wonderful dreams that they have of having a great career, being a mom, being in love, being in a high quality relationship, having friends, making an impact and being able to look back on their lives with zero regret because they really showed up.

But the number one killer of that dream and that vision is saying no to yourself. And the crazy thing is, is, you know, you can hear the yes in your heart, but because of what other people think or these made up stories that we have about the alleged consequences of saying that yes, We say no. And just like it gets a lot easier to hit the snooze button when your alarm goes off in the morning, so does saying no.

Mark my words. The more you say no to what you want, the easier it gets, and the farther and farther away the dream becomes. Because in order for you to truly achieve the success that you want on this journey, you’ve got to be flexible. You’ve got to be innovative. You’ve got to think outside of the box.

You have to give yourself the kind of opportunities that may take you outside of what’s quote unquote normal, or what is within your comfort zone. You know, let’s take an example here. Maybe you have been trying naturally for a couple years now, whatever that may be for you. And your heart is really saying, you know, I really want to move on to another modality.

Like, let’s say, Hey, you know what? I want to move on to an IUI or I want to move on to IBF, depending on what your circumstances are. And then, you know, that taking the next step feels really good to you, but then you start to talk yourself out of it for bullshit. Right. So you just say no to yourself. No, I won’t do that.

Or maybe you’ve been putting off a conversation that needs to be had with your treatment team, or maybe with your partner, maybe with some friends or family. And instead of having a brave conversation and your heart’s telling you, I can’t take this anymore. Yet you keep saying no. To doing things differently.

It just gets easier. Then you start finding yourself saying no to things that you want at work, no to things you want when it comes to vacations and leisure. You say no to the dress that you want, the vacation that you want. You start saying no to opportunities you’re being offered all over in your life because it takes you out of your comfort zone.

The more you say no to you, the easier it fucking gets. And I know that if you took a moment to really consider this, And perhaps even as you’re listening to this, you can feel the resonance. We all know truth when we hear it. And so, as always, because we love ya, my team created a beautiful worksheet for you to use alongside this episode.

And the link to that is also in the show notes. Download it because the exercise that I want to give you to go alongside this episode is I want you to track for seven full days. So you have this beautiful worksheet that’s actually a no journal. We’re going to call it the no journal. And I want you to track how many times over the course of the next seven days you say no to yourself when you really want to say yes.

Okay, so for every no that you say to you, I want you to write it down. What was the circumstance? And then most importantly, what was the fucking excuse that you used? What was the no, what was the circumstance and what was the excuse that you used? And it’s fascinating what happens when you start to track this information because there may be part of you that’s listening to this and say, Oh, no, Rosanna, you know, I say no, I say yes to myself all the time and I get my manicure, get my pedicure.

That’s all beautiful. But I’m talking about the nose that you say to yourself. When it comes to the shit that really, truly matters. Cause you could probably go a year without a pedicure, even though it might seem a little uncivilized. And it’s no biggie. You go a year saying no to what you truly want on this journey, and it could cost you your baby.

It could cost you your happiness. It could cost you your relationship. It could cost you things that you haven’t even accounted for. Okay? But this is the number one way I watch, it’s like watching a train wreck. You know, sometimes when my team is interviewing people for my programs, we’ll, we’ll listen to these.

Women like sharing their stories and sharing what they want and getting to the point where, oh, I know this is totally going to help me. I’m so ready. And they’re right there. And instead of taking the leap to change everything and have the kind of tools, strategies, structures, community, all this goodness that can help them usher in the kind of results you’ve heard women talking about for years on my podcast.

They’ll say no. And you know, the craziest thing is we will hear the yes in them. We hear the yes in their heart, but they will say no. And that’s how the sabotage pattern begins. The sabotage wins. Again, and what’s sad and why this is truly self sabotage is the subconscious mind will tell this woman that she did the right thing.

She dodged a bullet. And this isn’t just about what I do. This is what happens in every aspect of your life. When you consistently say no to yourself, watch the instantaneous justification that will come up. Oh, I didn’t really want that. Oh, I can totally do it on my own. I can create results like that on my own, and it’ll be great.

Yet, when you check in with them six months later, they’re still doing the same old shit, using the same old excuses, right? Chances are, this is happening in multiple aspects of your life. So you want to watch for this. Watch the instantaneous justification, and that is like the snake eating the tail. A snake actually eating its tail the way that women choke on their own dream because they won’t actually do the work, right?

And it’s fascinating how when we get into that pattern, how it becomes easier and easier to settle for no and settle for mediocrity. And then women find themselves really at a critical point on their journey and they don’t know why they got there completely without a clue about how they got to where they got.

But the truth is. Deep down, when you move past the muck, they absolutely know. They know it was there, no. They know it was there. And that’s the problem. So I want you to check yourself before you wreck yourself right now. Download the worksheet, do the seven days of tracking, watch how many times you say no to yourself, and be freaking honest, okay?

And just notice how often you say no to you when you really want to say a giant fucking yes to you. It’s fascinating. And you know, this isn’t about like calling you out as some kind of a loser or a lost cause because you say no to yourself. It’s really about awareness. It’s about awareness because you can start changing things when you become aware of them.

But this is a big one. And this is one that is extremely difficult to change on your own because of the belief systems. That are driving the no and they are sneaky. They will hide from you. They’ll parade as logic and reason and sensible when in fact they are absolute fucking opposite. Saying no to you is actually one of the most fucking reckless things you can do in your life and on this journey.

So watch for it, mama. We think we’re being, you know, I’m just doing the right thing. I’m just putting myself second. That’s actually a good thing. No, it’s not. No, it’s not, because you know what, that gets easier too. And what ends up happening is a snowball of fucking bullshit that you’ll wake up in your 60s, look around your life and say, how the fuck did I get here?

Right? All the things that you said you would be doing, all the dreams that you had, nah, nah, it’s like this much of what you could have been. Don’t do that to yourself, especially not on this journey. And look, if you don’t like the results that you’re getting on this journey and you’re doing all the treatments, diets, lotions, and potions, you can’t afford to ignore your mindset.

Your mindset is at the foundation of your success. Look, mind and body work together, baby, and you cannot out supplement or out workout or out yoga a shitty mindset. Your mind is driving the bus. And my fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body.

So they don’t have to look back on this time in their life with regret. Go to www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. And if you don’t have a mindset for success in this journey, baby, you gotta keep it all in your strategy.

Let’s fix that shit. And set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.