EP35: She Became Her Own “Silver Bullet”

Having endured multiple miscarriages and a devastating loss of twins at 25 Weeks, Beth could have given up. Learn how this courageous woman not only overcame ridiculous odds to have another healthy pregnancy, but found a way to make peace with her fertility past and learned to love herself again. Beth is proof positive of what’s possible when a woman brings the power of her mind to her fertility journey…and becomes her own “silver bullet.”

Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 35, She Became the Silver Bullet. Loves, I am super excited to be back with you this week, and this episode is really a special one. You know, there’s nothing that delights me more in my work than sharing stories of triumph with you.

The reason for that is this. There is nothing I want more than to build a community of women united in their hell yes. Because it’s really easy to go out and find the scary shit out there. The super low vibe message boards where everyone is just feeding off of each other’s mass hysteria and fear. My work is about being like a bucket of ice water right over your head in the midst of the darkest point on your journey because I want you to see that yeah, there’s statistics out there, there are things to be aware of, but the thing that really matters on this journey, the fucking silver bullet, when all the chips are down, is going to be you.

It’s going to come down to you. And that’s why I’m so excited to be sharing Beth’s story with you. Beth came to me and was part of my Fearlessly Fertile Mindset Reset program in 2018, and she was a real standout. She, she just did the work, she was open to the coaching, and she absolutely showed up. And less than a year later, after applying the lessons she learned in my program, she made her dream of being a mom for the second time come true.

Now, here’s why this is so important. Because Beth lived through multiple miscarriages, even losing twins at 25 weeks. Beth is a straight up gangster and I cannot wait for you to learn from her and woman if Beth’s story does not get you Hyped up and jazzed about what you can create in your own life. I don’t know what will So take notes listen to this multiple times because Beth had every reason to fucking give up She had been through so much But what she did was turn up the volume on her hell yes even louder.

So let Beth’s story inspire you. She really demonstrates what’s possible when a woman digs her heels in and stands tall in her hell yes. Here’s my darling Beth. Ladies, I am super excited to bring one of my amazing miracle mamas on to the podcast and her name is Beth. And I have to tell you, when I came into contact with Beth just a little bit over a year ago, I was blown away.

Beth participated in my Fearlessly Fertile Mindset Reset Program. What was incredible about Beth is how active she was in the program and how committed she was to making her dream of being a mom come true. And I mean, this is consistent with all of my ladies. Like I know that you get sick of hearing how amazing these women are, but they truly are.

They truly demonstrate the mindset that separates women who just give up on their dreams versus women who really dig their heels in and stick it out and keep saying their hell yes. So welcome to the podcast, Beth. Hi, thank you. Why don’t you tell the ladies all over the world who are listening to this podcast, tell them a little bit about how you found yourself on this journey.

Actually, I started my journey, uh, actually 2012, I started my journey and we ended with a miscarriage and it was a natural miscarriage. I was heartbroken. I took a year to think about life and why that happened to me. I was devastated. I had no clue that was going to happen. Come 2013, I said, okay, I’m going to try this again, tried it again, ended up with my beautiful five year old daughter right now and thought, okay, you know, you just have a miscarriage once and you get over it and then you keep having kids and that’s great.

And they didn’t want a whole bunch, but I wanted, you know, one more. Well, we got pregnant again after my daughter, a year later. In, uh, 2015, so I had her in 2014, 2015, summer ish, uh, we ended up having, um, mono die twins, which was super high risk pregnancy. Um, we went through with it till it ended on its own at 25 weeks.

Um, that was very traumatic. I had to end up having like laser ablation surgery to cut the vessels and the placenta that they were sharing. It was traumatic. I, you know, and I took some time off. I was a mess after I probably should have waited longer, but I wanted a baby. So I tried again. And that was about 2016.

I think the end of 2016, I ended up having another loss. That was about 13 weeks. After that, I thought, Okay, I’m going to try this. After that, my doctor suggested IVF with PGS. And I said, I’m just I did go to a console and they were like, Oh, you need a couple more losses. Like this stuff happened. So I said, okay, fine.

I’ll try again on my own. I got up a courage, the courage to try again on my own. And unfortunately it ended again at about 12 weeks after that. I was just, just, I didn’t have any answers. I was so down on myself. I didn’t know. I really, like, people around me were having babies. Friends were having babies in their 40s.

And it was just like, I wasn’t even in my 40s yet. And I’m just like, I just felt like a loser. Like, I started calling myself a loser. Like, how, Do you keep letting this happen? Like how does this keep happening to one person? Like what the hell, you know? And, um, I remember just sitting on my couch, just feeling terrible about myself.

And, uh, so then it was probably, I’m trying to think that was like a January ish and, oh, my doctor, then when I saw him again, after he had to do the procedure, the DNC, he said, uh, You know, I’m tired of seeing you like this. All you do is you’re just always crying and sad. You know, I really think you should try this, you know, other routes.

So. I was like, okay, I thought about it. And then I remember it was summer. I did go for the work off. That’s what, what it was. I went for a work up and they did all the recurrent loss. And I found some stuff out. Like I found out like a gene mutation and I found out the hypothyroidism. And, you know, so that was actually very informative for some reason.

Something in me was like, just really stubborn. Like I want to do this on my own. And I still like. You know, it was hard for me to like surrender almost to have help. And that’s just part of my, that’s just part of my journey, like having this surrender to help actually. And. So, um, then that was like in March.

And then in the summer I was listening to one of yours. So then I, so I was like, if I’m going to do IVF, I want to do everything I can. So I did like the meditation. I bought the meditation off circle and bloom or whatever. And I started listening to that. And I really think it started bringing my stress down, my cortisol down.

I felt more in a, in a. space, not anywhere near I needed to be to conceive again, but I felt like my whole system was just like calming. So then, but I remember sitting in my driveway and listening to your, um, podcast and it was the day of your son’s first birthday and just basically you telling us how.

You know, you did this and how you did this and envisioning it and you saw it. And it was just like, I, I thought about, I was like, I can see this too. Like, I know this is out there. I’ve been trying and trying and trying. Like, I know it’s out there. Like I have to like, find a way to like bridge the gap, you know?

So we ended up going through with the IVF probably around September ish. And that’s when I started to work with you. Cause I said, again, if I’m going to do this, I’m doing this all out. Like I’m not. I’m not gonna short it short change myself, you know, and I know that to some of your podcasts to really need to like go all in you can’t be reserved like, Oh, it’s too much.

I can’t do this or I shouldn’t do this. And I was like, No, I freaking deserve this. I need to do this. And that was really the start of my like, confidence coming back and myself like my belief in myself and like spending investing in myself, you know, I hadn’t invested in myself in so long and I just was exhausted.

So listening to your podcast then and then taking this chance on taking the class and really like the class just starting to see like how like messed up I was in the head. You know, like, wow, like I am like out in left field here. That I’m supposed to be playing. I’m trying to play a game and I’m way out there, like staring at the bleachers.

You know? Wow. Wow. And I got to tell you, Beth, I mean, just listening to that and the, the heart wrenching, I mean, one of the things that, I mean, you said many, many, like just. incredible things. But one of the things that really stuck in my heart and we’ll, you know, we’ll talk about how you transform this, but there was the part where here you are, this amazing, loving woman.

All you want is another baby. And The part of you that just kept going like there was something in you that was calling you a loser For pursuing that like it’s just incredible to me and it’s kind of funny how you said, you know You felt like you were staring at the bleachers. You’re so far afield, but that’s where we can go on this journey Yeah, like just getting so disconnected.

You’re just a woman who wanted a baby and was putting herself Out there putting herself in the game and putting one foot in front of the other and at a time of such incredible heartbreak Your immediate response Was to call yourself a loser And that like spilled over into every area of my life. Like with my friends, I felt like I wasn’t a good friend or I was just that friend that kind of is like moping around and stuff.

And like at work, I just felt like I wasn’t good enough at work. Or then I tried to compensating by being a perfectionist, you know? And like, that’s not me. Like I used to be, I just started to realize, like, once I started like doing the work, how far away I was from myself, like, I don’t even know who I am anymore.

You know, like, I’ve really lost myself, and I think everyone around me knew it, too. Yeah, yeah, I mean, wow, I, I, you’ve just articulated, like, I can’t even imagine that somebody could be listening to this and not feel it. Because you have spoken a truth that very few people speak, and, and in such a powerful way that this is why, this is why I spring out of bed in the morning to do the work that I do.

Because in a lot of ways, this is unacceptable. This is unacceptable that we as women, who are pursuing dreams, that we have programming, that instead of loving ourselves, and instead of supporting ourselves, we immediately go to destroy ourselves. On this journey and it is, it’s horrific and it, it, it just, you are so brave to share that.

And so let’s talk about first the realization that you had that something needed to change because you said, look, you know, we’re going to try this IVF thing, but I’m going to be all in like that’s a, first of all, amen sister, because that’s a very rare quality. So many people think they’re all in and then they hold back and then they regret it.

You weren’t up for that. I know because I think like I was listening to a lot of your stuff and like it really just made sense, you know, like getting back to myself. And like, if I really like liked myself again, like what would I do if I liked myself again? You know, and I started doing things that I would do if I liked myself.

Wow. And one of the things was like taking the class. And like, I told my mom and my sister was like, look. I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ve lost my mind or I’m going to find my mind, but I’m taking this course and like, they’re like, no, this is great. This sounds good. And even if it doesn’t work out for you, like you’re going to get yourself back your mind frame back.

Until it was really, you know, Yeah, and how blessed you were to have other women around you that supported you and didn’t call you crazy. What a blessing that is. Oh my gosh, and I’ve had, you know, it’s weird. I have a friend who, one of my best friends has gone through a lot of similar stuff. So I really, Really leaned on her, although she ended up having a baby.

And so she was gone that year while I was at work without her. And so I really was leaning on you and your podcasts and the work that I was doing for your class. Like it really got me through. And I know it’s another thing. Like I learned, like, I can’t keep leaning on people for like, you know, like I need to find that somewhere inside of myself, like I used to.

I used to have it and it’s gone. So let’s talk about how you got it back. So you got us to the point where you’re like, Hey, I’m preparing for this IVF cycle. I want to give it my all. So tell us a little bit about giving it your all. What, what did that include? Okay. So basically just really it was like cleaning out my mind frame.

It really, a lot of it was cleaning up my mind and like, in a way of like cleaning your house, like getting rid of stuff. Like, and I did that too. Like I started getting rid of things and like things I didn’t need anymore. Things that didn’t like serve me in a sense, thoughts that didn’t work for me anymore.

Like the loser stuff, like you’re not a fucking loser. Like you’re just having trouble and you’re going to get over this. And when you get over this, like. You’re going to be great. You know, you’re going to be back. And like, even if you don’t get over it, even if I don’t like end up successful, I’m going to get myself back.

Like that was the main goal, like getting myself back. So it was like cleaning out. And I think one of the modules was about like cleaning out, like taking out the trash or getting all that crap out. And like, I just started realizing all these thoughts I would have that like would just pop up. I think the saboteurs or whatever, they would just, I mean, they were relentless.

And I had, like, both of them because they were ruining everything. So what did you notice about yourself, like, when you actually started doing this work and taking out the trash, like, what did you notice about you? Um, well, I noticed that I was depressed. I was sad. I noticed that I was being really, like, mean to myself and hard on myself more than, like, I think anybody else.

Was I always thought like people were like judging me because I couldn’t get over this like I couldn’t get through this like people Were looking at me sometimes like oh poor her like that’s what I hated the most like stop You know, like don’t I don’t need that, you know, I just felt like people at work, you know Everybody like knew my business because it would always be like I’d be out for three days here five days here You know, they all knew about my twins I had to leave work like immediately that day after the appointment and ended up never coming back that year or Not till the end the next semester or whatever.

So I just I don’t know. I felt like that when I started to do the work and I started to like, I don’t know, just like believe in myself again, like believe that, like just be more positive and that is not like people, people would probably laugh right now. If I even said like, be more positive. Like, when did you get more positive?

That’s how bad, that’s how bad it was. Like how. negative it was, how dark it was. Like, I literally felt like I had to claw myself out of this hole that was dug in the patent for, like, three years. Like, I just kept getting deeper and deeper and deeper after every loss and I was like, this is becoming more and more hopeless.

And then it really took like that, wait, wait, wait, you know, like stop, like this isn’t hopeless. Like looking at you, looking at other people. That was the one thing I remember you saying, stay off the low vibe sites, like with the people, you know what I mean? Like find success stories. And so that’s really what it was like starting to find success stories.

It’s starting to. See people who triumphed over all their stuff, you know, and it started coming out of the woodwork that, you know, it’s like, Oh, look at this, look at that. And then you kind of stopped having so much doubt. In a sense, but they’re still, you know, yeah, we got to control it type of thing Yeah, and isn’t it funny how you change your focus and suddenly all of these success stories and all of this Higher vibe stuff just starts coming out of the woodwork, right?

Yeah I mean I have another friend who tried for years With IVF. And when I asked her about it, she’s like, it’s a hard road. Like if you want to go down and I’ll help you. She wasn’t successful with it. She ended up, and that was in her thirties. She ended up having her babies at like 36, 39 and like 40, like crazy, like maybe 41.

Like while I was going through all this, she had two babies. Like when they told her at IVF, she would never, it would never work. She would never have children. Like it was just so watching all this happen in front of me. And I’m like, this is not over till it’s over. You know, like I’m not done. I knew I wasn’t done yet.

I just, I don’t know. I still feel like now too, being pregnant and stuff. And like, if there’s any issues or whatever, like, I don’t, like, I don’t know that I can be done. Right. Well, let’s talk about that because you started to change your mindset. You made this decision that it’s not over for me. You’re seeing all these people who go on to have babies even after IVF doesn’t work for them.

Tell us a little bit about where you went next on your journey. So you’ve done all this mindset work. What was next for you? Okay. So then did the mindset work? I was still going through the IVF process and it wasn’t a quick process by any means. Like our first round was terrible. It was a total bust. And then the second one, we actually had some success and I did a transfer and it didn’t work, you know, and I didn’t, I wasn’t going into it like, Oh, this is definitely going to work now.

Like this is the silver bullet. You know, it’s not, I was just, you know, as part of the process. And so it didn’t work. And one of the things that. Um, I didn’t like about it was that they used this drug that I just didn’t like and it made me feel bad and they transferred with it. And, um, I don’t know why, but something inside of me was like, I don’t know how my body is going to be productive under that drug, right?

So, I called the doctors and I said, you know, if I do, and I only had two normal embryos out of, you know, however many, which was You know, it was scary the whole process. Nothing was promised at all. I didn’t get all these eggs I didn’t, you know, it wasn’t this easy fix at all. I called the doctor for the next transfer So that was just this past December and I said, you know I really don’t like that drug or any way we can do it without it and they said no And I was like, okay, and I was sitting at my desk bawling like okay Now what you know?

Well, luckily, the one friend I was telling you about who has similar stories to me, she told me about her IVF doctor, and I was like, okay, like, and it happened to be through the same company, I just went to a different, like, location, and I was like, alright, I think I’m going to call her, I’m going to call her, and I’m going to go there, and I’m going to see what she says, because she said my doctor doesn’t use that drug transfer.

So I was like, okay, let me do this. And we went in and we met with her and she’s like, yeah, no problem. Absolutely. No problem. And then it worked. But part of the thing that I knew worked also, like in terms of mindframe was that I didn’t go back to that doctor because I was done like being a victim. Like I was done like letting people just.

Like, tell me what was right and what was wrong. Like I was like, I’d had it, like, I just knew that I needed to try it a different way. So then that’s when I called the other lady, but having not like listened to your podcast and doing the work, like that was, I remember one of the things was like, who do you want on your team?

And I thought it was, you know, I honestly was cleaning my house that day and kind of like, Oh, come on, let’s get to more, let’s get to some more stories. Like I need to hear some more like stories, but that was so like, it came back to me, like, who do you want on your team? Like, I didn’t want them on my team anymore.

Something didn’t feel right the whole time. I felt like I hated that they never put anything in the portal. They just always called me like, I need this in writing. I can read it. I need it. And so when I did transfer over to the other doctor and how easy it was. Like, yeah, no problem. That’s great. Yep. We can do it.

And it wasn’t a fight. I felt like it was constantly like some sort of like inconvenience to like have my concerns heard and my needs met there. I don’t know what it was. And I get it. I’m a patient. I get it. But like, I wasn’t trying to be a know it all. I just have a lot of questions, you know, right, right.

Well, something happened though, right. And that’s really what you’re getting at. There was a difference in Beth. Right? Because if we took a look back at the Beth, you know, years before, Beth years before might have just, as you said, been a victim and just allowed things to happen. But there was something different about you.

What was that? I just, I wanted, like, I wanted what I wanted and I wanted more for myself. And I like believed that like. If I wasn’t getting the right answer and like kind of getting back in touch with like my intuition Like I just didn’t feel right with it And I normally I used to follow that and I stopped following it on this journey I started listening to everybody and getting down on myself and I kind of like kind of tapped into that and was like no I have to like Do this.

Absolutely! That’s called hell yes, baby! Yes! That’s, that’s called standing by what is your hell yes, your unique hell yes. Well, there were all hell yeses as well on the journey. I just remember like, the doctor after my first cycle, which I felt was a total like, was just a bust because I felt like he had to go on vacation.

So I think, I don’t know if they triggered earlier, what, but it wasn’t ready, like nothing came out. Like when it was supposed to have some decent, like had some decent follicles in there and then all of a sudden it was a total bust. I just felt like, and then he sat me down after. So after that, I came in for like a console or whatever.

And he’s just like, yeah, if this one doesn’t work, there’s nothing I can do to help you. And I’m like, we are not here yet. Like, I, I don’t believe we’re here yet. I just can’t accept it for an answer. We’re not here yet. Like you are not at the point of not being able to help me. There’s no way, but that’s what he told me.

So I said, okay. And I was still kind of in the victim part. So I still said, okay, I’m going to try another cycle. But in my head, I was like. Dammit, like, this is gonna work. Like, I’m getting something out of this. I don’t care. Like, this is going to happen for me. And we did. We ended up, that’s our cycle where we got our egg for this pregnancy.

So yeah, like there were a lot of like little, you know, hell yeses that I wasn’t gonna stop for. Sounds like some major hell yeses, woman. So you kind of alluded to it and we kind of touched on it, but are you pregnant today? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Yes. We are. 21 weeks tomorrow. It’s from the one where the other I went to the other doctor and they were like sure we’ll transfer without it That’s not a problem at all where he was like putting up all these doors for me to like, you know Or hurdles for me to jump over I was crying at my desk like like he was kind of being like the gatekeeper at the Wizard of Oz, you know Like no, like I can’t You can’t shut me out.

I’m just going to go somewhere else now, you know? Yeah. And that’s, that’s the power. This is what we talk about is like, this is the power of a woman who stands in for hell yes. And who trusts herself because look, think about it. When we think about where you are today and where you were a year ago, right.

In less than a year, you went from multiple losses. You know, absolute devastation, unclear about what direction you were going, being with a, a, a doctor that didn’t quite believe in your vision, didn’t want to do what you wanted to do, to you finding the right member of your bump squad, thinking like a woman who achieved success.

And this is all in less than a year. And today you’re 21 weeks pregnant. Yeah, it’s surreal. It’s surreal. It’s surreal, but. But it’s not, it’s surreal, but it’s not because it’s like, no, I knew this is what I wanted and I knew I was going to get here. I just needed the right pieces of the puzzle type of thing, you know?

And one of the things too, I thought the reason I like ended up taking a class is just like, I don’t want to leave any stone unturned, like I’m doing everything I can do to make this a success. And I feel like a lot of it, well, not a lot of it, like all of it for me, cause I couldn’t do anything else. It was done by Will.

IVF place was my mind, you know, it really was like believing in it and it was weird because like I woke up after my one transfer and I don’t know, I just felt it wasn’t the time, it wasn’t the time and you know, and it was, it bothered me but at the same time I’m like well, we still have the other one. So I’m not gonna, you know, it sucked, but I was like, I still have something to look forward to and I still, I thought about it, like, I still have some more months to like, really like clean up and it was weird to the whole timing stuff.

Like, I know I’ve lost my faith completely. My faith went out the window. I am really getting it back right now. My faith was gone. I knew I had a couple more months to like get my head in the right space. So I thought of it that way, like, okay, we have a couple more months to get cleaned up. And so part of it too, the whole universal thing, my husband, the whole timing, my husband ends up getting a new job, which he’d been waiting for, for five years, he ends up getting this job.

We end up having to move out of our house, like within months, we had to like pack and clean and everything. So that actually, that whole cleaning part. Was so good to like get rid of all that other stuff that I didn’t get rid of on my own just trying to clean out like I had to purge and then we ended up now we’re living at like my in laws house so totally not ideal in anything you know what I mean like when I was like shook up that’s when they like fell in the correct spot.

And it was kind of like fun in a sense, but like, if my mind was like in a bad place back then, this would have all been like very scary to me. Like, Oh my gosh, what’s going on? Like, and I don’t have what I want. Oh my goodness. It was almost like I had to surrender again and be like, okay, this is all happening for some reason.

Well, and it’s funny, Beth, because you said something really powerful earlier. You were talking about how, you know, IVF was just part of the process. You know, there’s no silver bullet. But in fact, you became your silver bullet based on what you just said. Yeah, I know. And I, and it’s now, and like I said, even going through a pregnancy after all of this is scary and nerve wracking and, oh my gosh, I’m just like scared to death and I’m trying to not be, but those like things that I learned in the class, like I still have to use.

You know? Absolutely. And one of the ones I was saying today was like, fear is what stands between you and your fucking dream. You know? Like, okay. Like, I have to like, get rid of that fear. Yeah. Well, and it’s funny because, you know, fear works in such an insidious way. Like, faith and fear require us to believe in something we can’t see, right?

And you just have to choose. Yeah. Yeah. And I’ve been choosing fear a lot, like before. You know? And now, even still this whole time, I’ve kind of been choosing fear more than I want to say. But now I’m like getting to this point where I’m like, okay, we’ve got to like get your mind back again. You know, like you’re, you’re, you’re going off the left field again, like I need to get back in the game, you know?

Well, but see, that is massive progress. Like anybody listening to this has to know that the point you’re raising is so critical. Because everyone thinks it’s just about getting pregnant. It’s not. You got 40 weeks to go, baby. You got a full pregnancy to go. And so you are constantly deciding where your head is going to be at.

And the fact that you can even call that out. I am patting myself on the back right now, Beth. I call that a giant win. Because look, and, and with your history, with everything you’ve been through, for you to be frightened or to be worried, you’re just being a good mom. Okay. So there’s nothing wrong with having those fears.

Like you, you absolutely are being an amazing mom. That’s how I would reframe that. If I were you, it was like, Hey, I’m aware of this, you know, of my past. And remember, yes. And, and I know I can create different, like you are living proof of that right now. Yeah. Yes. And, and I, and that’s another thing. Started to put Like these sayings everywhere, you know?

So like that, yes, it was take a stand for the yes. And like, that was at my desk at work, I started to, and, and I would, you know, when I started getting, like, if I started getting lean towards pessimism, I was like, that’s when I would take a stand for the yes. And, you know, um, and then another thing was like, the first thing I remember hearing from you is like, I don’t know if it was just even in words or if you actually said it was like, don’t let that playground bully push you around in your head.

And like, I was like, I’ve got the worst fricking playground bully ever. Like this bully is so mean, like just nasty, like, and things that, and then even doing the work too, like things that came up from childhood, like bully stuff like that, like feeling out of control, feeling like someone was so much better than me, you know, like that kind of shit came back and I had to like, almost like heal that and like tell myself, like, that wasn’t your fault that people might’ve treated you that way.

You know, like you. I had no control over that and, um, you have no control over how people look at that person either. You know what I mean? Like, I was just feeling like, what do people, why do people like this person, you know? And so that playground bully thing, there’d be days when like, I would have to tell myself that at work.

Like if work was getting too intense, I’m like, no, I’m not going to let that playground bully push me around today. Like, it’ll all get done. I’m not gonna worry about this right now. And then there’d be people around me who would come up and like fret and like start worrying and like bitching about stuff and I’d be like, hey, don’t let that playground bully push you around and they stopped and like loved it.

They were kind of like, who the hell is this? Like, where did you learn that? You know, like I’ve never said anything. Like that positive. I’m usually like this keep to myself or if I had something I’d probably be negative Just oh my gosh. So so you really saw okay. So this wasn’t just about you getting pregnant.

This is about Ultimately the impact that you could have on your own life Because yeah, that’s why I said I took the course. If nothing else, I’m going to get better. Wow. Wow. You know, so what would you say, like, who is the woman that we’re speaking to today? Like, who have you allowed yourself to become as a result of all of this?

Not just your journey, but the way you’ve taken control of your mindset, the way you show up in your life. Like, who have you become? Like, I’m a confident person. Just all the things like I used to know about myself. I’m smart, I’m caring, I’m kind, like I trust myself more now. Like at work, I used to compare myself a lot.

Well, that person does it this way, or maybe I’m doing it wrong. And it’s like, no, I am myself and I do what I want the way I want. And that’s why, you know, I’m good at what I do. I don’t have to be like everybody else. I don’t have to compare myself anymore. And I did that a lot, like two on the journey, like comparing stories, like.

comparing situations and stuff and I just feel like I’m more, I’m confident, I’m in control of my mind more. I feel like I’m a better friend. I’m a better family member. I think, I hope, feel back to myself. I don’t know how to explain it. I just feel. Back to who Beth is like, I lost Beth. I didn’t know who she was for a while.

And it makes me sad. I like who I am now. And that’s enough for me right now. You know what I mean? Like I feel that I can like box it and say exactly, but I like, like who I am more than I’ve ever liked who I was before. And it’s not just because I have what I want now, it. I had to do it before. That’s part of the thing.

I had to do it before this was going to work. Have waiting, like when this happens, when that happens, I’ll be happy or I’ll do this or I’ll do that. And it was like, I can’t wait anymore. Like, this is my life. And like, I have to start buying the things I want, doing what I want, saying what I want, eating what I want, feeling how I want, and that.

I think took a lot of stress off. Well yeah, and you’re, you’re a prime example of the concept that I teach that you have to be the woman who succeeded before you actually succeed. Yeah. Mm hmm. And that was part of changing my mindset too. Like kind of, and in changing your mindset and with all that, I had to surrender what I wanted.

Like, okay, I need to let this part go in order to work on myself. And then if it’s supposed to come back, it’ll come back, you know? And it did. I It did come back. Yeah, but if it didn’t come back, I was still going to be okay. Yeah, that’s incredible. That is truly incredible. And think about what you’re going to be able to teach your children.

Like the choice and the investment you made, not only in yourself, time and resources to prepare yourself, leave no stone unturned and be that woman. What are you going to be able to teach your kids? I know, I know. I know. I think about that too. I hope, you know, I just want to, yeah, succeed and gosh, I don’t know, maybe I just, I don’t know.

I just have to write it all down. I mean, yeah. Like I guess I’m learning too. Like I’m somebody who doesn’t give up. I’m not taking no for an answer anymore. I’m not, you know, I’m just not going to let myself be pushed around or when things don’t feel right, I’m not gonna just keep going, you know, which I did for a while.

Yes, yes. And so, so what is it? As we round this out, like if you were going to share a piece of advice with women all over the world based on your life experience, what you’ve just shared with us, what would you want other women on this journey to know? Honestly, I think I would want them to know that huge piece of this was that I needed to like start to like myself again.

I did like I needed to like myself again. I needed to like. Find Beth again and know who she was to like be good at anything again, you know, yeah Well, yeah, it’s beautiful I mean It’s the very essence of what we have to do in order to succeed because you have to believe in you At the core. Yeah. Yeah, because yeah, like no one.

Yeah, it just I don’t know. It’s just a weird feeling and I think we get so like lost on this journey that We Don’t like ourselves anymore. I know I didn’t and I just I might have thought I did like I didn’t yeah I might have thought I did but I didn’t truly and maybe it’s love maybe it’s love yourself, you know Like I maybe I didn’t love myself and now I’m getting you know I had to learn to like love myself even with all the crap that I went through even all the struggles and stuff, you know Yes.

Yes. And it wasn’t my fault. Yeah, and just think about how much more love you’re able to give other people by loving yourself first. I know that’s something that we talk about all the time and it sounds like a, a giant platitude, but what you’ve demonstrated and we’re so grateful that you shared your story because it is truly one of triumph where you coming back to yourself, you trusting yourself, you loving yourself enough to keep putting one foot in front of the other to keep saying your hell.

Yes. you really demonstrate what is possible because anybody who had gone through what you went through could have easily thrown in the towel and nobody would have blamed them. Not sure, but you kept coming back for more and you kept taking a stand not only for yourself, but your family and this baby.

So My darling, Beth, thank you so much for sharing your story. It is going to change so many lives. Your vulnerability and your just transparency and desire to be generous with it is, like I said, it’s truly going to change lives. So thank you so much for being with us. Thank you to you too, because I didn’t do this on my own.

I had help here. This is, you know. You did the heavy lifting. I’m truly, truly thankful, honestly. You were seriously came to me at a time when, um, I needed it and I, you know, so thank you. Aw, loves. That was my conversation with Beth, and I really hope that you can take from her story, the fact that, look, everything that you have in your heart.

is there because it was meant for you. You can experience so much loss on this journey, so much pain, but when you really take a stand for what you know to be true, just like Beth did, anything, anything is possible, my loves. And just remember the best insurance policy you have for your success on this journey is you, your thoughts and your beliefs.

What you think and believe will dictate your choices, actions, and therefore your results. It’s logical, linear, and true. If your head is not in the game on this journey, love, and your mind is not trained for success, you’re just gambling. Women who beat the odds on this journey are not playing games. They show up to it mind and body just like Beth did.

They think like women who succeed so they can be the woman who succeeded. My Fearlessly Fertile Method program will teach you exactly how to do that. This program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months. To apply for your interview to be part of this revolutionary program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for a breakthrough session there.

My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true in the face of overwhelming odds. Love, if you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, you’ve got a gaping hole in your strategy and let’s fix that shit.

Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.