EP36: The Antidote To Fertility Freak-Out At Your Fingertips

Learn a powerful technique for neutralizing fear and anxiety in the moment, as well as gain a new level of understanding about the undeniable power of the mind-body connection in my interview with Emotional Freedom Technique Master, Ben Schwarcz. Also learn how your unconscious mind can sabotage your success on this journey…and one thing you can DO about it. Learn more about Ben and his work at: https://tapping-coach.com/

Hey, gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.

I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby. Fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 36, the antidote to fertility freak out at your fingertips.

Loves, this week I have a real doozy for you. Whether you’ve listened to my podcast, read my book, Am I the Reason I’m Not Getting Pregnant? The Fearlessly Fertile Method to Clearing the Blocks Between You and Your Baby, or both, you know that I’ve done some crazy shit in the name of bringing my son, Asher, home.

One of the most important lessons I learned from all of that was Yeah, I was doing every diet, treatment, lotion, and potion I could get my hands on to take care of my body so it could be a beacon of fertility perfection, but I was completely overlooking what so often proves to be the missing piece of the fertility puzzle.

My mind. Yes, I was eating a hundred percent organic, avoiding foods I used to love like the plague, taking loads of supplements and turning myself into a fertility yoga pretzel. But what was going on in my mind? Ooh, that was an absolute cesspool. Feeding myself up for shit in my past. Endlessly replaying scenarios of what I coulda, woulda, shoulda done, ruthlessly comparing myself to every woman who announced she was pregnant, and then quietly trying to tear her apart in my mind about how undeserving she was, then of course torturing myself with guilt about doing that.

Searching for certainty, I would come up with thousands of variables and fear rehearsed each one, thinking that would save me from the pain of disappointment, when all that did was rob me of years of my fucking life. I firmly believe, now that I have the benefit of time and years of experience, As well as seeing the miraculous impact of taking care of my mind, I could see that without one iota of doubt, the reason I wasn’t getting pregnant was me.

None of my treatments would work, nor would my body cooperate if I was literally tearing myself apart like that. My mind and body had to start working together. The mind is the most underutilized resource we have on this journey, because we allow ourselves to be seduced into the idiotic notion that medicine alone is going to save our asses.

Medicine is amazing and it is indeed a blessing, but it is nothing without you and your fucking will. I see this day in and day out in my coaching practice. You’ve not only seen proof of that in my story, but in the stories of every single woman I have featured on this podcast. You’ve even heard world renowned physician and number one New York Times best selling author, Dr.

Bernie Siegel, talking about the power of the mind in healing on this podcast. Remember, the notion that you have a hand in creating success or failure on this journey, that is about awareness. It is not an accusation. The point of reiterating this with you is so you can do something about it today. This is why my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is so strong.

If you want to be a success on this journey, you’ve got to be smart about how you use that brain of yours, my loves. This is exactly what I teach women around the world to do, and this week, to further empower you in this area, this week’s episode is a killer interview with my dear friend Ben Schwartz, Master Emotional Freedom Technique, aka Tapping, practitioner.

Well that’s not all Ben is, he has loads of fancy letters after his name and his professional credentials are impressive, but at the heart of what Ben does is help people heal and free themselves of acute trauma. What I love about what Ben does is he teaches people how to immediately deal with their anxiety in the moment.

As women hell bent on success on this journey, we have got to cover our bases. And so I love how EFT has a wonderful complement to the work that I do. It’s another arrow in every woman’s quiver, as she leaves no stone unturned on this journey, so she doesn’t have to look back on it with regret. In my interview with Ben, he will share some fascinating things you probably don’t know about the mind body connection.

And I am sure that by the end of this episode, you are going to be saying to yourself, Holy shit, I’ve got to make getting my mind right on this journey a fucking priority. And to that I say, hey fucking men, buckle up ladies and pay close attention. You’ll be glad you did. Here’s my interview with Ben Schwartz.

Hey, ladies, I am so excited to be bringing Ben Schwartz on to the podcast today. And I got to tell you, when I first met Ben a few years ago, I was really intrigued by his expertise in the subject matter of emotional freedom technique. And I know so many of you have been asking me about this. And I’m really pleased to bring on an expert that I’ve actually had the pleasure of working with and getting to know over the years.

And so thank you so much for being on the podcast today, Ben. Oh, thank you for having me. And I love talking about this subject and I’m happy to be here. Yeah. So. Why don’t you start us off by just explaining very generally what this technique is and why a woman on the fertility journey might use it?

Well, so EFT is the technical name. It stands for emotional freedom techniques. Sometimes people refer to it as tapping. Although that’s more of a generic term for it, you’ll find different, slightly different variations of this that people still refer to as tapping. But it is a specific technique. It’s a mind body technique, and it’s the, really the core technique in a whole field of psychology called energy psychology.

25 years or so. And so it’s not brand new, but it’s become much more recognized in the last 10 years or so. And EFT especially has been researched a lot at this point, where before it seemed kind of like a fringy, kind of odd technique that a lot of people couldn’t relate to and a lot of, um, people in the psychology field were skeptical about.

It’s now been very legitimized by a lot of research and it’s a very, um, effective technique for trauma, especially. But so it also has become a very popular self help technique, and I can explain how it works and what it is. But essentially, it’s a technique that works on the same principles as acupuncture.

It’s a meridian based healing technique. And instead of needles, as with acupuncture, you tap on your body on a series of acupressure points with your fingertips. And in doing that, you’re calming down and relaxing and balancing your nervous system. And what makes the technique powerful is that you bring your mind into the By focusing on something that you’re having difficulty letting go of such as an emotional trauma memory That’s just one example.

And while you’re focused on it, you’re tapping the points that are relaxing your reaction to that memory So in other words when we remember something upsetting it sets off all the alarms inside of us Brings up emotions, triggers us physiologically, makes our heart rate go up, increases stress hormones, and all of that.

So you’re provoking some of that, and at the same time, you’re calming your system down with the tapping. And then your mind begins to let go of that memory or that thing. Until it feels neutral. Yeah. So let’s talk about this mind body piece first before we go any farther, because there are some women who may be listening to this that, you know, they’ve begun to dabble in the area of the power of the mind body connection mindset and all of that.

But there are still some out there that, that have this notion, medicine is going to fix me. Like, you know, it’s okay for me to be triggering my physiology and be in a constant state of stress and I’m still going to have no problem conceiving, you know, some people just don’t see the connection there.

What would you say to somebody who was either just beginning to open themselves up to that idea that there is a connection between the mind and the body? And that being in a constant state of stress and triggering your physiology in that way is detrimental. Like some people just, that’s their way of being.

So what would you say to somebody that’s beginning to work with that concept? Yeah. Well, it’s funny that, I mean, I know a lot of people, um, can easily be skeptical and be. Give so much authority to the medical viewpoint and at the exclusion of everything else. And, but you know, the subject of stress and the effects of stress is no, it’s no mystery.

It’s no, it’s, it’s not something that’s really disputable. And yet, you know, we, we think stress can affect us in this part of my life, but not in this part. You know, it, stress can raise my blood pressure and cause me to have heart disease, but stress couldn’t possibly influence my ability to get pregnant.

Like you can see how irrational this statement is, right? Yeah. It’s totally irrational. I mean, and I laugh with love because I used to be one of those people. Like, I think years ago, even before we met, like if somebody had come to me and talked to me about tapping or EFT, I’d be like, get the fuck out of here.

What is that witchcraft? Get out of here with your hippie bullshit. Like that’s literally what I would have said. But I’m so glad that I stopped saying that and pulled my head out of my ass and got educated. So continue educating us on that because I really want to drive that point home because Women listening to this, as they’re listening to this, they will have the opportunity to make a choice.

They can keep doing what they’ve always done and get the results they’ve always gotten or they can do it differently. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Well, here’s another subject that relates to this is the placebo effect. So before I say more about what that is, it’s important to know that placebo effect is in everything we do, including medicine of all kinds and self help, but certain things are very powerful regardless of that.

So when I’ve had people that are very skeptical, they don’t believe in PFT, they don’t think it’s going to help them, they don’t think it’s going to change their state or help them let go of anything, but they just humor me by doing it. And it can still work just as well for them, then their eyes are open to it and they believe in it.

So it’s not just power of imagination that allows us to work. It’s really not, but it’s recognized in the field of mainstream medicine that the placebo effect accounts for about one third of the positive results of any medicine. Wow. Procedure. Yeah. Thank you. Wow, Ben, that’s staggering! Isn’t it? That’s huge!

I mean, I hope that anyone who’s listening to this is, is really taking that in. For the placebo effect to have one third of, you know, a foothold in positive outcomes or positive effects, that’s incredible. Like, you’d be crazy for that. And that’s why, and they see that not as a positive thing, but they see it as a barrier to doing good research because when they try to research medication, they always have to try to account for the placebo effect.

But to me, it’s the most powerful, that’s the best news to know that your mind is actually one third of the influence at least. Of something working or not. Wow. And so that should tell you right there that the healer is you. You have the greatest power within you right now to do anything. It’s only your doubts and your fears and your, you know, your emotional barriers that, that keep it from being your ally.

Wow. That is incredible. And so, and that’s really good to hear because, you know, so many women feel out of control on this journey. They feel like there’s so much outside of their, their control that they get overwhelmed. And one thing that I’m constantly saying is, look, you have the control over the one thing that is possible to control, and that’s you.

Right. So how does EFT fit into all of this? Like if somebody’s finding themselves in a place where they do feel out of control, they’re listening to what you’re saying and they’re like, wow, I can have this much of an impact on my life. So where do they go from here with EFT? Well, if we’re talking about the issue of infertility or, you know, Difficulties conceiving or whatever, and we can agree that stress has a negative impact at least maybe there’s other things more specific that I’ve seen with a lot of women who are having these problems.

Everyone’s unique of course everyone’s story is different, but one example, let’s say somebody has had miscarriages in the past. Those are traumas. Nobody has a miscarriage and is not traumatized by that to some degree, sometimes to a large degree, and that when you have not dealt with that haven’t released the emotional trauma of that completely is going to haunt you inevitably.

And when you’re trying to get pregnant again. That fear is always there that creates stress that shuts down your hormones that affects your body’s ability to relax and go with the flow and allow more to happen. People that have a history of sexual abuse is another one. You know, it all has to do with the same parts of your body, um, your sexuality, your, your.

If comfort with being a woman, these things can’t be separated, you know, um, when those things haven’t been healed and dealt with, it can have a real impact. Uh, and so those are the, uh, I, you know, trauma is the thing I work on the most with everybody because trauma is really the basis for most of our issues.

Uh, however they manifest and unfinished traumas is, is really where it’s, where it’s at. And so EFT is a way to rework those things, bring yourself back to what’s still there for you emotionally. And I’ll neutralize that to the point where what was a memory of something very intense, very vivid in your mind, very high intensity emotion to think about or talk about.

At the end of tapping through it, you feel calm, you feel relaxed. The imagery fades away, um, sometimes completely, sometimes it just looks very distant at the end of doing it. And that’s permanent. So once those things are collapsed, they don’t come back. And then you’ve removed the big source of stress and fear from your system.

Wow. That’s incredible. So, so why don’t you walk us through. How that works. And I know that’s gonna be an interesting challenge because this is a podcast. Um, but just give us a sense of, of basically how this works. And of course, you know, at the end of the podcast we’ll tell people how to get a hold of you so that they can have the experience of working with you.

But just walk us through that. Well, here’s what I want to do. I’ll do, I’ll do a little example of some ways of tapping just to illustrate what, what it’s like. But, um, just want to try to explain one thing here, which is that There is a, there is a very specific clinical sort of way to use tapping that you would do with a practitioner working on specific traumas or things from the past, like I’m referring to.

And it’s pretty meticulous. You, you, you lead the person through moment by moment through something and when the emotion comes up, you pause there and you tap together. Me tapping on, on my points as a demo for the person in front of me and they tap along on, on the points on themselves. And I use words to describe their, their trauma that they say back as we go through it and we keep reevaluating the intensity as we go and we’re reworking through it until it’s zero.

So that’s very specific. The other way, which is much more creative kind of self help way to do it and what you see in videos a lot, um, they’re not all great. Some are good, some are bad out there, but. This is the way that people tend to find it. And you can be a lot more loose with how you tap in this other way, but it’s not the deepest way.

So sometimes people get the impression when they see videos that like, that’s all there is. That’s all it is. It’s saying positive affirmations while tapping. That’s really not at all what it is. So it can be misleading. Right, right. Well and having tapped with you before, I know how meticulous you are.

Like I know, like I could not have possibly recreated that at all watching some YouTube video. Yeah. So there, yeah, so there is a huge difference, you know, and And I, I 100 percent get that. And I think that’s an important distinction to make. And really, because the whole point of this is to educate people that, yeah, you can look on the web.

You’re probably going to get, you know, thousands of hits on what tapping is, but it really does take a trained and meticulous practitioner to really go to the depths because this isn’t, this is not DIY. I just wanted to make sure that you know, those two ways are not exactly the same. Right. Right. I’ll explain first quickly, just something about the points.

So people have a concept if they haven’t seen it somewhere. The first point we tap on is the side of the hand. We call it sometimes the karate chop point or the edge of the hand side of the hands below the pinky. And with your other hand, you just use all your fingers to tap the whole side of your hand.

And we do that in the beginning. We say an opening phrase, which I’ll explain in a moment. And then we go to the top of the head. And this is the crown point. It’s the top, but just a little bit back from the center. And just tapping, average five to 10 taps with at least two fingers. It doesn’t have to be hard tapping, pretty gentle.

Then you go to the eyebrow. It’s the center part of the, the inside point of the eyebrow, right on the eyebrow. Doesn’t matter which side. And again, tapping five to 10 times. Then the corner of the eye is right in front of the temple, but on that bone there behind the eye where there’s a little bit of a curve in that bone there, um, yeah, right on the side of the eye and then under the eyes, the top of the cheekbone centered under the eye and then under the nose and then the indentation of the chin.

So it’s actually between the chin and the lower lip. That little valley there. And then the next one is the collarbone point, which is not on the collarbone, but just below it, about an inch below it to the side of the sternum, either side. And then the last one is under the armpit. On the rib cage for a woman, it’s where the bra strap would be.

Basically can use all your fingers on that one. And that’s a basic round of tapping. That’s it. So sometimes we’ll continue a few times around, especially if something’s very intense, emotional, that’s something that’s coming up. We might go longer, but that’s basically it. You take a deep breath. You refocus on the feeling, or the memory, or whatever it is that you were focusing on, and then you evaluate what it feels like both before and after tapping.

And, if you want, you can rate the intensity. I always do that when I’m working with someone on a 1 to 10 scale, 10 being the most extreme emotion, 0 is completely neutral. And then you get a before and after and you just keep going with what’s still there and you might tap again and you might do several times going through layers like that.

So the main, most important thing to understand is that mostly what we do when we’re verbalizing something with tapping, we’re verbalizing the problem or the pain or the negative emotion, the disturbed feeling, the. It’s the negative that we’re voicing, not the positive affirmations. However, you can, after going through naming the feelings that you’re trying to, to release, you can then put in some positive phrases and that can feel really good too.

But that’s sort of an add on. It’s not the main thing that’s doing the work. You can think of it as a way to purge the negativity out of you. Oh, I love that. I love that imagery. And I mean, and having done it, you know, it, it really, that’s truly what it is. Yeah. That’s truly what it felt like. Yeah. So it’s, it’s good to even exaggerate the negative.

You can even, you know, make it sound outrageous to yourself if you want. Um, which might start to sound ridiculous, but that’s okay. It’s the point is to not candy coat it, it’s not, it’s not to sugar coat it or make it sound nice. If you’re angry, express your rage, your anger while you do it. If you’re hopeless, say, you know, I’m hopeless.

There’s no hope for me while you’re tapping. You just voice whatever that negative voice is that’s already there in your mind that’s keeping you up at night. You just give it room to speak. And you do it while you tap. And that’s what begins to, to get it out of you. Wow. Wow. So is this like a process of being desensitized in a way?

Very much. Yeah. That’s a perfect way to describe it. I often say it that way. It’s, it’s like, you know, and, and. In the old, uh, systems of psychotherapy, sometimes, um, systematic desensitization is a, is a, is one method that was used for trauma, still is, and it’s part of cognitive behavioral approaches. This is like, uh, uh, to me, like a quantum approach to the same thing.

It’s, it’s a, it’s a much more direct. Quick way to desensitize yourself. You’re focused on something that triggers you. And at the same time, you’re calming everything down and that’s desensitizing. Yeah. And it’s super empowering as well because you know, on this journey, so many of us carry things that are inside of us that are virtually unspeakable in, you know, in polite conversation.

You know, one of the things that I hear from women all the time that I serve is, you know, not only do people not understand what I’m going through, but I’m not sure how they would react if they heard it. Yeah. Right? Like, we, we kind of shame ourselves into thinking this is so, you know, crazy, some of the emotions that we have.

And through the, the method that you’re describing here, we actually have a place to voice that. Right. I could, I could do a little example of something, you know, kind of a tap along thing. I know it was a, it’s very, doing this in a fast way. Yeah. No, no, that’s okay. You know, the the point is is just to give people a sense of what this is about and if it intrigues them They can reach out for for you know more support in that because it really is something that you know If you’re committed to to doing everything you can on this journey and that includes You know, really taking advantage of the mind body connection.

It’s definitely something worth exploring. And so yeah, I’d love to have you, um, walk us through something really quickly. Okay. So just remembering those points and we’ll tap along together. I’ll say the words. You can say them. It’s best to say them out loud, but you can say it in your mind if you’re in a place where you can’t speak out loud.

Great. I’m going to tap along with you. And maybe we can just address a situation which might be a common one for a lot of your listeners of feeling hopeless, helpless, frustrated with their body. That kind of thing? Yeah, absolutely. That’s, I mean, that’s hitting it right dead center, I think. Hopeless, helpless, and frustrated with their body.

So the point is to let yourself feel that while you tap. It’s not to cover it up, but to just let, let be present with the feeling. And it’s not even the attitude of like, I’ve, I’ve got to get rid of this feeling. It’s more welcoming the feeling. Let the tapping take care of the rest. If that makes sense.

Yeah, perfect sense. It’s allowing themselves to feel the feeling without judgment. Exactly. No judgment. Tapping the side of the hand. As you’re just allowing that feeling to show up, whatever it is that you’ve been feeling, whatever negative thoughts you have about yourself, your situation, feeling the feeling of that, and noticing if there’s any stress or tension in your body somewhere that you hold that, and tapping the side of the hand, just steadily tapping there, and just say these words, even though I’m so frustrated with my body.

Even though I’m so frustrated with my body and I really feel hopeless and I really feel helpless Nothing I do is working. Nothing I do is working. I’m feeling like the failure I’m feeling like a failure and I feel betrayed by my body. I feel betrayed by my body I deeply and completely accept myself. I deeply and completely accept myself Even though I’m so frustrated with myself Even though I’m so frustrated with myself.

So frustrated with my body. So frustrated with my body. Doing all the right things. Doing all the right things. And it’s still not working. And it’s still not working. And I feel helpless. And I feel helpless. I’d like to learn to love myself anyway. I’d like to learn to love myself anyway. You tap the top of the head.

I feel helpless. I feel helpless. Eyebrow frustrated with my body frustrated with my body already. I I’ve been trying for so long. I’ve been trying for so long Under the eye. I feel like my body’s betraying me. I feel like my body’s betraying me I just feel hopeless. I just feel hopeless And angry at my body angry at my body Frustrated with my body frustrated with my body Under the arm.

I feel like I’m failing. I feel like I’m failing. Keep going back to the top of the head again. I’d like to forgive myself for feeling this way. I’d like to forgive myself for feeling this way. Eyebrow. If other people can do it, I can. If other people can do it, I can. Corner of the eye. I’m not the only one that feels this way.

I’m not the only one that feels this way. Under the eye. This has changed for other people. This has changed for other people. Under the nose. Maybe it’s possible for me to. Maybe it’s possible for me to. Chin. I’d like to be more compassionate to myself. I’d like to be more compassionate to myself.

Collarbone. My body could be my ally. My body could be my ally. Under the arm. My mind and body are not separate. My mind and body are not separate. Deep breath. So we could we could have gone on that way for a long time added a lot more thoughts and words But that’s just sort of a an example of kind of the way we might approach it Man, Ben, like, I don’t even feel any of those things, and I’m totally relaxed.

You know, just chopping along with you, I’m like, holy shit. I don’t feel any of those things, helpless, hopeless, or frustrated with my body, but just doing that with you, like, holy mackerel, like, I can only imagine, you know, well, having done it, I don’t have to imagine, I know what it feels like, but just even working with that, like, Tapping those spots, you know, like saying the things and releasing the things as as you instructed.

Yeah, it’s just I feel Physiologically different and I’m you know, perfectly calm talking to somebody I love and respect. So it’s just crazy Mm hmm. Yeah, it’s cool. Isn’t it? That’s why I love it. I’ll do this forever. That’s so It’s a great thing, right? And it’s it’s a really interesting thing to think about the energy leaks that we have in our lives when we don’t resolve these things.

And I know for some people that are listening to this are like, what’s an energy leak? I kind of think of it as unfinished business. Yeah. We’re quietly letting our precious energy kind of leak out onto because we haven’t closed up that wound. Definitely. Yeah. Our energy goes to suppressing a lot of things or maintaining a lot of things that are tied up in trauma.

Other things are relationship issues with your partner. You know, sometimes there’s an unconscious, that’s the other thing. There’s, you know, our unconscious mind accounts for at least 90%. Of what’s influencing you. The conscious mind is only a small fraction of what is steering your boat. You know? So when you’re working with these things, you’re releasing things that are often unconscious as well, that become more conscious as you work through them.

Those unconscious forces create tremendous amount of stress in the body that you don’t even realize. It’s incredible when you think about that, because, you know, when we’re, my ladies are lovably type A control freaky professionals, you know, at the top of their professional game, and they’re so used to being very aware of the conscious mind, and, you know, they’ll say, well, I wouldn’t consciously sabotage myself, and it’s like, well, of course not.

Exactly. Yeah, self sabotage is not a conscious process for anybody. That’s why it’s sabotages because you’re unconscious. You don’t have control over that directly, right? You’re someone who’s a high achiever, used to being in control. You’re going to feel extremely. Stuck when it comes to figuring out self sabotage is you don’t give enough credence to the fact that your unconscious is powerful, very powerful.

Yeah. And, and when you think about it in the terms that you just gave us, if the unconscious mind is running 90 percent of the show, it’s like, come on, it’s like, you know, we, we tell ourselves, Oh, you know, I can just choose something different. Well, it’s like, no, you have to condition that choice. Right.

Right. And there’s ways to find these things. And sometimes just tapping about what you do know begins to pull up what you didn’t know. The unconscious begins to reveal itself when you’re tapping. It’s another interesting phenomenon that happens with tapping. I can’t exactly say why that is. But it just loosens things up.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Perfectionism. Like you said, perfectionist tendencies is very, um, common in this, in this area. You know, with, with fertility issues, it’s, it’s really, it’s, it’s a known thing. The more you try to do it all right and do it perfectly, the more you’re working against yourself. Yeah, and that’s counter to what we’re conditioned.

We think, you know, cause in, in pretty much every other aspect of our lives, there is a, a more direct correlation between how hard we work and what we receive, but something as elusive and miraculous as life doesn’t exactly play by those rules. That’s right. That’s right. Yeah. It’s more of the surrendering, letting go, relaxing that, that’s conducive to this.

You see, when, you know, wildlife biologists, when they see the population of a, of a group of animals drops one year, why does it drop? Because of stress? Because humans encroached on their land and their stress because hunting increased in their stress because, you know, um, resources were, were less that year, you know, if you upset the wildlife, they stop having babies.

I mean, I love that because it’s. You know, but in the way that we live in modern society, that’s like, what? You know, like people don’t stop to think about that. They’ve just figured that, okay, somebody is going to give me some pill. There’s going to be some cutting edge technology. That’s going to save my ass, but they are completely, I mean, this is why I tell my ladies all the time.

If you weren’t working on the mind piece, you’ve got a gaping hole in your strategy baby because you can eat as much kale as you want. But if you’re quietly sabotaging yourself, you know, what do you think your results going to be? Right. Yeah. Spoken as a recovering perfectionist myself. Yeah. Well, I’ll tell you, you know how in the beginning of the procedure where you’re tapping the hand and you say, even though I feel hopeless, I deeply and completely accept myself.

That’s a very important statement to start with, but a lot of people cannot say that with honesty. And so they should find a different way to say it. There’s people who don’t love themselves. There’s people who, if they’re honest with themselves, they don’t even accept themselves as they are. And if that’s the case, then you modify it and you say, even though I feel so helpless and my body isn’t working, right.

I would like to learn to love myself anyway, or I would, I’m learning to accept myself anyway. That makes it a little more palatable, a little easier to say, a little more true. And that’s what you need, you need to have that attitude going into it for it to work the best way. Wow. That’s such an important statement.

And like if for, you know, for the women that are listening, like even being able to say that, like, thank you so much for highlighting that Ben, because being able to say that, or at least to state your desire to get to that place. is so brave. Yeah. Yeah. It’s a very powerful statement, and there’s really nothing more important than that self-love and self-acceptance.

Yeah, that’s incredible, Ben. Well, I am so excited that I’ve had the opportunity to share you with the world, at least my, my little part of the world. Yeah, we’re cool. And so, yeah, so tell the ladies how they can best get a hold of you because I know they’re going to be reaching out because this is such a wonderful modality to add to the other things that they’re doing to really help them, you know, have a complete strategy.

And really leave no stone unturned because, you know, that’s the one thing I say all the time as well is like, look, you know, this is your life. You want to be able to look back at this critical point in your life and know that you did everything you could with no regret. And so I, I, I wouldn’t want them to have the regret of not reaching out to you.

So tell us how, how they can get best get ahold of you. Well, I’m very easily Googled first of all. So if all else fails, just. My name will find it will take you to me easily. So, uh, Ben Schwartz. It’s a weird spelling though. It’s S C H W A R C Z So that’s, that’s the weird part. My website, the main website that I, that I use is tapping coach.

Um, it’s tapping hyphen coach dot com. There’s a hyphen between tapping and coach. I’ll give my phone number too. It’s 707 326 5566 and I’m based in Santa Rosa. So I’m easy to find. Yes. Yes. And so easy to work with. So man, Ben, thank you for your generosity. Thank you for sharing your gift with these amazing women.

And I really hope that, uh, the women really take from this, that they really can. Empower themselves here and and really get serious about that mind body connection. So thank you so much Ben. Hey loves Wasn’t Ben amazing? Here’s an exercise to take what you’ve learned here to the next level one Take an honest look at how you might be getting in your own way on this journey Are there traumas that you just keep feeding and reliving?

Are you ignoring them and allowing them to block you on this journey? Trust your gut about the answer, you know the truth, and your results don’t lie. Two, decide that you’re going to do something about it this week. Reach out to Ben, apply for an interview for my Fearlessly Fertile Method program.

Whatever you do, decide that you are no longer going to get in your own way, baby. And third, share this podcast with someone you care about on this journey. Based on what you learned today, there should be no doubt about how powerful you can be when you take control of your thoughts and beliefs. Your mindset isn’t just a warm and fuzzy nice to have.

It’s a critical piece of the fertility puzzle. Women who beat the odds on this journey show up mind and body. They think like women who succeed so they can be the woman who succeeded. My Fearlessly Fertile Method program will teach you exactly how to do that. This program is designed for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months.

To apply for your interview to be part of this revolutionary program, go to my website www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for your breakthrough session there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, you got a gaping hole in your strategy, love.

Let’s fix that shit. Only a few spots remain for 2019 till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the fearlessly fertile podcast. Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you when it comes to your dreams.

Keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.