EP39 Holiday Rescue 911

Worried about all of the triggers and pressures that tend to show up during the holiday season as you live your fertility journey? I’ve got 3 ideas that can shake your holidays up in the best possible way. Let’s make this holiday season AWESOME.

Hey, gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.

I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, bad assery, and loads of hell. Yes. For your fertility journey, it’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 39, Holiday Rescue 911.

Hot damn, my loves, it is Thanksgiving week here in the States. And shit’s about to get real real for all of us on this journey. And so I just wanted to speak directly to something that might be brewing in the back of your mind as you are preparing. This week, maybe you are going to be hosting Thanksgiving, or maybe you have family coming in, or maybe you’re going to be hopping on a plane, getting in your sled, or whatever it is that you’re doing to get to your family.

And I just want to give you a 9 1 1 intervention right now about the holidays just to support you and be a voice of reason in, I guess, shouting from the rafters about something that we don’t talk about openly and can be so laden with baggage on this journey. And that is, how the fuck do we deal with the holidays when we’re going through some shit on our journey?

So I want to break this down for you super quick and give you three really powerful ideas to play with right now. And This essentially starts with what anything should begin with. Any intelligent thing should begin with what you want your experience to be. And, you know, so often on this journey we just find ourselves in chaos mode, and we just roll in it, we don’t really think strategically about it.

And that’s just a setup for misery and regret. So, even if you haven’t done this at this point, or maybe you have played with this idea, now is the time for you to do it. And just simply ask yourself, what are the holidays gonna be about for you this year? I don’t care what they’ve been in the past, I don’t care what other people have put on you about the holidays, my darling woman, What are the holidays about for you this year?

Because even if you’re not super into the holidays or whatever, you’re going to have people all around you for whom the holidays mean something. So you got to get in front of this, decide what are the holidays about for you? Okay. And I remember so many years on my own journey that. I just kind of kept doing what I had always done, got into ruts, and just sort of found myself hating a time of year that, in fact, is actually pretty special to me.

And I had just gotten into the, the rut of just doing what I had always done and never stopping to question if that was actually What I wanted to be doing and if those old traditions actually suited me anymore or did they need an upgrade an upgrade? That was actually a reflection of what I believed and where I was in my life so Just make that decision break it down decide what the holidays are going to be about for you And really this is just about you I know the temptation is is to get involved with like what your partner might think what your mom might think what your uncle might Neighbors, I mean all of that shit like Yeah, at some level you’ll take that into account, but look, as much as this is a journey that touches the lives of people around you, this is still a very personal experience.

So it all has to start with you, okay? That’s why we start with you, that’s why we focus on you, because you are the one thing you can control, okay? Decide what the holidays are going to be about for you. The second thing I want to remind you of, okay, by the time you start listening to this, it’s actually going to be Thanksgiving week.

I want you to know it’s never too fucking late for you to change course. Okay, I don’t care if you’ve got tickets purchased, I don’t care if there’s a penalty you might pay by changing your plans, it’s never too late to change course. Who the fuck cares about a couple hundred dollars in a change fee?

That won’t mean shit if you are festering on your uncle’s couch, wishing that you had just stayed home because it’s another hideous year of more questions, more insensitive comments. And more people talking about shit that they know nothing about, okay? None of the inconvenience that you perceive may be endured is going to mean anything if you’re just miserable, okay?

That might just be a tax you’re willing to pay. Alright? So, it’s never too late to change course. And even if you decide to move forward with whatever plans you have, I also want to remind you, it’s never too late to leave. Okay? Like, you don’t ever have to stay anywhere if you are just drowning. Right?

Like, you might get to your, your friend’s house, and things started out good, but then shit’s going sideways, and you got this terrible knot in your stomach, and you just don’t feel right? Bounce. Just bounce. And you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You really don’t. As a grown ass woman, you get to change course.

And that actually dovetails into the third piece that I wanted to share with you And I really want to hammer this i’ve probably said this in one form or another But within the context of the holidays and within the context of all the pressure that can mount this time of year It’s worthy of repetition and it is this you are not responsible for other people’s happiness Okay, you aren’t I don’t care who this person is you are not responsible for their happiness You give so much To everyone throughout the year Mama has a vote mama counts and that’s you There’s so much going on in your life right now that if you don’t take special notice of where you’re at, what your needs are, and demand that those needs are met, you’re gonna get overwhelmed, mama.

You’re gonna find yourself stuck in redline, burnt the fuck out, and wondering why you fucking hate the holidays. Okay, chances are, because I know my ladies Lovably type a control, freaky. We are doers. We are fucking gladiators. We make shit happen. We’re not victimy, we, we do what we need to do. Like all of those things are admirable and mad respect.

And my hat’s off to you, baby. But there is a point when we need our own restorative time. There is a point when we, we need to take, okay. And the holidays, because they’re so unique, and there’s so much pressure, and, you know, there’s so much tied up in it, like, you probably long to be holding your baby, and you look forward to, you know, celebrating with your child in whatever way that you, or you and your partner, choose to celebrate, you know, that can bring up a lot of shit.

So it’s extremely important that you don’t take on what’s not yours. Okay, if it’s not yours, give it back. This is the perfect time to have boundaries. And I know, like, boundaries get a bad rap. People freak out about that. People think that boundaries are mean. But you have to understand, your responsibility Is to yourself You cannot control how other people are going to interpret how you show up in the world What is your responsibility is to be a good loving human being and that starts with being good and loving to yourself You cannot give from an empty cup Everybody, you know knows the martyr, right?

We all have somebody in our lives That’s the martyr, you know, but but they end up hating everyone Right? They’re the ones that end up bitching and complaining because they are me their needs are just never met. You don’t want that. Holiday Joy does not require you to be a fucking martyr. The people around you, they’ll get over it.

As adults who are also responsible for their happiness and their lives, They’ll fucking get over it. If you decide that going to Aunt Martha’s house because you’re sick and tired of her bullshit and getting drunk by the end of the night, like, you don’t want to be part of that? Hey, you either get to leave early or make the decision you’re not going at all.

Because Aunt Martha will get over it. And if she doesn’t get over it, that says more about her than it does about you. Okay? You got one life, baby. You got one life. Are you gonna look back with fondness on the holidays where you stood up for yourself? And said, Booyah! I did exactly what I wanted to do. I felt great.

I was cuddling, watching Miracle on 34th Street with my man. Like, you know, doing what I love to do. Or, are you gonna be wishing you were dead sitting at somebody’s table that just asked stupid shit and you just feel like why did I do this again, right? Like, what are you gonna look back on when you’re 80 thinking about the way that you lived your life, right?

I bet anybody who has looked back on their life after Being up there in age or have faced a terminal disease. They’re never gonna tell you that oh, yeah I wish I martyred myself even more and did more stupid shit. No, they’re gonna tell you man I wish I spoke my mind. I wish I stood up for myself. I wish I went for it Okay, and so that is your holiday rescue 9 1 1 intervention, my love.

Decide what the holidays are going to be about for you. Remember, it’s never too late to change course. Who the fuck cares about any inconvenience? All of that is going to be forgotten when you’re at home or at a beautiful restaurant doing holidays your way than just going for what’s basic and what’s average and what you’ve always done.

Okay? And that’s not to say that doing what you’ve always done is a bad thing. The whole point of bringing this to your attention is to give you the opportunity to re evaluate. Because if you love what you do on the holidays, rock that shit out, baby! Keep doing it, rock! But if you know you need a change, and you know you want something different, I’m loving you enough to call this shit out and encourage you to empower yourself to do something different.

And last, just remember, You are not fucking responsible for other people’s happiness this holiday season. Your being a good person during the holidays does not require your martyrdom. You don’t have to be Joan of Arc, baby. She was awesome, great, but you don’t have to be her. Okay? Love yourself enough to take a stand for what you really want this holiday season.

And if as you listen to this, you’re thinking to yourself, Shit, I really need to change the way that I live my life, and I need to most especially change the way I live my journey, Woman, get on the bandwagon of my Fearlessly Fertile Method program. The women in this program are f It’s fucking amazing.

They’re killing it. What they’re creating in their lives is amazing. This program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months. Look, there’s only a couple more weeks, actually, a few more weeks left in 2020. What you decide to do now is going to set In motion, the things that can help put you on a trajectory towards success in 2020.

So if you want to get one of the last spots in the program for 2019 go to my website, www.ForMaybeToBaby.com and apply for time in my calendar there. Let’s do an interview and see if I can help you on this journey. Like I have so many women around the world. So till next time, my loves. And remember, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com, change your mindset, change your results.

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Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.