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In this third episode of this 3-part series on fertility and faith, I am going to share some of the ways that I learned to cultivate unwavering faith—even in the face of nightmarish heartbreak. If there is any part of you that wants to believe, you can’t miss this.
Transcript:
Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.
I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes, for your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 64.
Fertility and faith, exhaling into belief. Hey loves, in this third episode of a three episode series on faith, we are going to turn our attention to what it really takes to cultivate unwavering faith and the holy grail of belief on this journey. I want to start by acknowledging something that is undoubtedly lurking as a saboteur in the back of your mind as you take in this series on faith.
You might be thinking to yourself, all this faith shit is easy for you, Roseanne, to sling because your baby came. Now, my loves, if any part of you is thinking that, I get it. And let me address that right now in no uncertain terms. My faith preceded my son’s appearance on this earth. Faith preceded the miracle, my love, not the other way around.
Faith preceded the blessing. This wasn’t some weird quid pro quo that suddenly I got some faith after my baby came. Not at all. I get that this is a scary proposition, particularly when we live in a world that is predominantly based in, I’ll believe it when I see it, mentality. Most of us are conditioned to trust.
Only in what we can see, touch, taste, smell, and hear with our physical senses. But the truth is, our senses barely scratch the surface, and they are unquestionably influenced by our biases, many of which are incredibly negative and fear based. I am pointing this fact out so that you can begin to open your heart and realize that the quote unquote truth may be quite different than the evidence you can see would have you believe.
It’s quite freeing, actually, and kind of fucking exciting. Can you even imagine? Leaning back right now and saying to yourself, I could be entirely wrong about all this negative shit! I could be wrong! Even better, when you realize that something higher is in your corner, you can finally get that you don’t have to have your journey all figured out.
You don’t! Now, if you’re choking on any of this shit, go back to the exercise I invited you to do in episode 63, your list of 25 holy shit blessings. Somewhere on that list, you will see some things that you can remember thinking, man, I have no clue exactly how this is going to happen for me. And away was shown.
If you made that list, you have evidence in your pretty little hand. that will give you every reason to have faith. If you’re stuck thinking, yeah, that happened for me then, but Raziel, this is different, or whatever distractions your saboteurs want to throw your way, recognize it as that, a distraction, because that’s what the negative shit is.
Distraction from the whole picture. Because what you have in your hand, if you made that list, is proof that something is working on your behalf. The people rest your honor. There is a huge part of you right now, my darling, that I know wants to believe. I mean, really believe. But her saboteurs have her so scared that from where you sit today, it feels impossible.
Maybe you’re feeling like a fool for even wanting to believe. Maybe you think believing for your baby is just too big. It’s too big to just have faith, but you gotta understand something really simple. A big ask requires big faith. This is why getting your mind right is so important. You have got to condition faith and belief instead of nurturing the fear that comes so cheap and easy.
Fear is so fucking basic and boring. When it comes to fear, the outcome is predictable. It’s the worst case scenario, and then of course you die and are eaten by a pack of wolves penniless and alone. Right? Don’t tell me you haven’t gone there. The ending is always the same with fear, which is why fear is boring.
Faith, on the other hand, is an anything is possible proposition. Belief is like saying, Wow, I have no idea what’s going on here, but I am game to watch it unfold. Just feel the difference in energy between those things. When you believe something higher is working for you in ways that your limited senses might not be able to perceive, it feels really good.
Instead of being the harried fixer in your life, you can become the appreciative receiver. Which do you think is more prime for baby making? The appreciative receiver, or the fucking neurotic fixer. Choice is yours. It’s interesting to me how people think facing their fears is so brave. Indeed, at some level it is, but what if the braver thing is to lean into belief?
We could argue all day about the nuance there, but that would just be another distraction. You know what fear does in your life. What if you simply chose to believe? In a lot of ways, that’s pretty much what I did. A critical aspect of that was therefore changing the way that I thought. My mind was geared toward disbelief.
I was paid to have that disposition as a prosecutor. It was all about assuming the worst, my loves, so I could be prepared to outmaneuver my opponent. Physical evidence was what I needed to build a case. For And while circumstantial evidence is indeed admissible in court and jury instructions say it is to be given equal weight, the reality is in the courtroom and in our untrained minds, there is nothing more powerful than what you can see, touch, taste, hear, and smell.
But what that limits you to is an entirely and equally persuasive body of evidence based on circumstance. Remember that list I had you make? That’s circumstantial and in some ways physical evidence of what is possible. Okay, yeah, I went lawyer on you for a second, but you know, you get what I’m saying.
And let me disabuse you of another ridiculous notion, that your saboteurs love to toss around about faith. Faith and belief isn’t just about sitting on your ass for waiting for something to happen. It’s taking action based on faith and belief and watching it unfold. With an eye for seeing the blessing in any outcome.
rather than just dismissing it as a failure if it doesn’t look exactly as you thought it would. That’s what faith and belief is about. As the Reverend Michael Bernard Beckwith always says, it’s about harvesting the good in any situation. You take the action, you receive the blessing, knowing that it will eventually bear fruit if you quit strangling the life out of it with your fear and laughable need to try and control something that can’t be controlled, my love.
And I know that is going to seem like a huge stretch. I’m a recovering type eight control freak perfectionist myself. So I get it. But I also see that’s not all I see that there’s way more to it. And frankly, the better strategy is to have a place for faith and belief and a big place. Okay. Faith and belief is about being willing to swing the bat, to put yourself in the ring, and to keep putting one foot in front of the other because of the calling something higher than all of us has put in your heart.
Faith and belief don’t require you to deny what your physical senses tell you. Faith and belief are a means by which you won’t be limited by your senses. Let me say that again, because I think that’s a really important point. Faith and belief are a means by which you won’t be limited by your senses, okay?
It’s about being expansive. It’s about letting yourself see the whole picture. Faith and belief are about Being willing to open your heart to something far more expansive and intelligent than our woefully undeveloped senses can offer. Just think about how many times you were so sure about something and ended up being fucking wrong, yet delightfully surprised.
Delightfully surprised and quite happy to be wrong. The world is a much bigger place than the four corners of your current experience, mama. When I had my last frozen embryo transfer, with the very last of our embryos, and suffered a miscarriage on Christmas day in ER room number 13, this is no fucking joke, this is real, I had to rely on the mindset I had cultivated and the faith I had rediscovered.
I kept asking Gus To give me sight beyond what was happening and to give me peace to know my boy was still coming despite all of the wreckage that my life had become in a very short period of time. The weeks that followed were some of the darkest in my life. My heart was broken and I knew in my soul my boy was still going to find his way home to me.
My faith and the way I learned to think to think like a woman who succeeds on this journey allowed me to make space for my pain and not be limited by it. Listen to what I said. Faith and belief are a means by which you won’t be limited by your senses. In that dark time, I had to find a way to see what my natural eyes couldn’t.
To see something bigger than what was immediately in front of me. Again, loves. This is why I teach what I teach and why I teach it in the emphatic way that I do. This is why I am here lovingly barking at you every fucking week. You’ve got to get your mind right if you want to succeed on this journey.
The way you think opens the floodgates to your faith, confidence, resilience, tenacity, strategic advantage, and peace. You will begin to see what others don’t when you open up this part of you. Look, it’s not crowded in the winner’s circle and there’s plenty of room for all of us if we get out of our own way.
Cultivating faith and belief, this is a daily choice, my loves. I had to do the work of dismantling my old paradigm. I began reading and learning everything I could about the mind, how people transcended limited beliefs, negativity, and fear. I found coaches and healers to help show me the way. I took what I learned and I made it personal to me and my journey.
I made my relationship with Gus a daily priority. I had to let go of all of that bullshit that I shared with you in episode one of this series. I had to completely reconstruct my relationship with Gus and that was a daily priority. That was a daily priority. I did meditation during walks or in my home.
I mean, all of that became like brushing my teeth. I started praying all the time. Not because I expected some omnipotent force to just deliver my son out of nowhere immediately. It stopped being about a quid pro quo. My faith was no longer, you know, something of superstition. I really made it an aspect of my life.
that was integral. I allowed myself to be all in with my faith. I stopped hanging out on the sidelines. I made investments in myself. I read books on faith. I, I engaged in it in so many different ways. I started surrounding myself with people who believed that Gus was a relationship and that building faith wasn’t about dogma.
It wasn’t about compliance. It was about truly cultivating a relationship. And I did this because I knew I was the common denominator and all of this. And that Gus would send me the right books, people, and study, and, and when I did this it seemed like so many things that I wanted were coming at me from so many different directions as forms of help.
I devoured all of it, and I just kept saying yes. I started living from my heart. Now, that didn’t mean I lost all contact with logic and reason. I just realized that my human logic and reason were limited, short sighted, ego based, and rarely looked at the whole picture. I learned to think differently and began creating different results.
And when I had my miscarriage, I didn’t just stop working on me and my mindset. I saw that this shit worked and that my son had made an attempt to get to me. So I kept fucking going. I didn’t give up on my faith just because I had a setback. What I did was I fucking doubled down. I kept going and I began teaching other women how to do this.
And the results they were getting were tremendous. And here we are today, so many years later, me, 46, with an almost three year old son with a practice that’s touching the lives of thousands of women all over the world every single day. Faith and belief, baby. You’ve got to cultivate this, and you, you get to do it in any way you wish.
You can do this, mama. You have every reason to believe baby. Something bigger is working for you. It worked for me and it’s going to work for you. You can do this too. So here’s an exercise, my beloveds to take our discussion here to the next level, one, how different would your life be in this minute if you simply chose to believe with that overwhelming sense of dread and fear dissipate.
Could you finally let go of the fucking timeline and stop freaking out that you are another nanosecond older? Could you stop strangling the life out of your next cycle by making it the make or break indicator of whether or not you’ll be a mom? Could you actually be in the moment again with your loved ones rather than incessantly replaying the past or wringing your hands about the future?
Just think about how fucking free you could be! All of that is yours for the taking, my darling. No one is stopping you from living that way but you and the way you think today. So answer the question, how different would your life be in this moment if you simply chose to believe? Second, you’ve got to ask yourself, what low vibe half truths would you have to let go of in order to just believe?
Think about a group of little kids playing, maybe four or five years old. If you went up to them and asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up, I bet you’d hear all kinds of quote unquote impractical things. You’d hear that the world was going to have a few more ballerinas, maybe some astronauts, pilots, superheroes, or cartoon characters.
And check this out, not a single one of them for a minute would think they couldn’t do exactly what they set out to do. It’s only until some craggy, bitter adult comes around to tell them that they quote unquote can’t make any money doing that. Or that only a tiny percentage of people will ever make it doing that.
That those children would have any doubt they can do it. The truth is there are people every day who live their dreams because they had the guts to have faith and fucking believe. So let me pose the question again. What lies? and half truths based on, in unbelief, do you have to give up in order to have faith and believe, my darling?
What lies in half truths based on unbelief do you have to give up in order to believe? Gus doesn’t give a shit about your age, nor your checkered fertility past or history of failure. Not sure about that? Ask any woman who has beaten the odds and maybe re listen to the women who have been on this podcast.
And if you really want to be blown away, listen to next week’s interview with one of my incredible miracle mamas. She’s going to blow you the fuck away. It’s going to blow your mind. Just keep this in mind. And third, text the link to this podcast episode to someone who you think could benefit from it.
Screenshot the episode and put it in your Facebook or Insta story tagging me. My darling woman. You have every mechanism you will ever need to have faith and belief locked up in you right now. The only question is, will you get out of your own way? Will you learn to think in a way that will help you open the floodgates?
The only thing standing in the way of you being able to exhale and believe is you. I say that with the love that only another woman who had to do the work herself. Can. My fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body.
So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with soul searing regret, my darling. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for time with me there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true.
Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, my darling, you’ve got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Don’t you dare give up till next time. Change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast?
Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.