EP68 From Lupus and Wonky Cycles to MOM

After battling lupus for years, when Alli was ready to be a Mom, she found herself facing yet another frustrating challenge. There was no way she was going to let anything stand in the way of a dream she had cherished since she was a little girl. Learn how she went from fearing that “it” would never happen for her to living her HELL YES and manifesting a miracle FAST.

Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.

I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, bad assery, and loads of hell. Yes. For your fertility journey, it’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the fearlessly fertile podcast episode 68 from lupus and wonky cycles to mom.

My loves, I am so delighted to be with you this week and sharing a fantastic interview with another one of my incredible ladies. And what you’re going to learn is that this beautiful woman. Ali, who’s going to be sharing her story with us, had faced years and years of her own physical health challenges.

And just when she thought she had one covered, her fertility journey became a reality. And so you’re going to hear from this fantastic, lighthearted, but incredibly determined badass bitch, how she went from struggle to triumph. And I know that you’re going to fall in love with Allie as much as I did, and, and really appreciate this woman really sharing the truth of what it takes to go from a place of despair to thinking like a woman who succeeds on this journey.

So here is my interview with Allie. Okay, loves, I am super excited to be welcoming Allie to the podcast. And what you guys have to know about this woman, and I was just telling her this impression of her that I got from our very first conversation, but like, from the minute we started chatting, I just thought to myself, wow, this woman is determined.

That was one of the things that I just absolutely loved about Ali and and just came through so Loud and clear is this is a woman who was not going to be resting on her laurels She was super committed and is super committed to covering her bases mind and body and I was just blown away by that because she clearly Was somebody who was taking her fertility future quite seriously.

So I know she’s going to have amazing things to share with us. So much wisdom. and is going to be blessing us with her experience. So, welcome to the podcast, Ali. Thank you, Roseanne. Um, thank you so much for your kind words and just generosity to have me on your podcast. Oh, well, we’re delighted. So, why don’t you tell the ladies listening a little bit about how you even found yourself on this journey?

Yeah, it’s, it’s kind of long, but I’ll try not to be too long winded about all of it. My journey actually started when I was a young girl, I knew I always wanted to be a mom. Um, and I know that’s very different from your personal journey, Roseanne, and many other women that I’ve, I’ve met through this experience, but, um, I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom.

Um, and when I was 19 years old, I started struggling with symptoms of systemic lupus. And by 20 years old, I was diagnosed this was during my collegiate volleyball career, and I was training and preparing to play volleyball. And I spent most of my summer actually laying on my bed and sleeping and not really knowing what was going to be next for me.

And from then on, I’ve kind of been on this journey of a river roller coaster, really. There’s been doubt, there’s been confidence, and it’s kind of gone up and down for me. And at one point I was kind of questioning, should I even try to be a mom? I’ve always wanted to be, should I even consider that anymore?

Is this something that I want to pass on to my future children? And once I was able to kind of wrestle with that a little bit and reflect on that and pray about that, I was able to kind of take things into my own hands and And really see the value that I had in myself. I started to learn more about how I could heal myself physically through diet and exercise.

Um, I worked with my doctors quite a bit and as supportive as they have been, they weren’t always on the same page with me and my goals and what I wanted. And so I took a lot of that into my own hands and really did a lot of my own research and exploration on all, all of those things. And I started to really learn how to take care of my body and how to say no to people when things just didn’t feel right.

Um, but there was, there was always something missing and that kind of is what led me to you and to this fertility journey with you and all the women that I’ve met. Um, I was struggling with having regular cycles and it wasn’t normal. And I went to the doctor and they couldn’t pinpoint anything. They didn’t know what it was.

They couldn’t label it. And for me, that was probably the most frustrating part because when you know what’s happening and you know what’s wrong, you can kind of make a plan to try to accomplish it or, you know, hurdle over that. And that for me was probably the most challenging part in knowing what step to take next with not really knowing what the issue was.

And I, yeah, and I, I started getting pretty hard on myself and doubting myself. I, I think back to it now and. I feel sorry for all of my friends and family who had to listen to me drone on and those boring stories like we’ve talked about. And I’ve told them that. I’ve apologized to them for all of that.

But I’m like, oh my goodness, I’m surprised that they still want to be a part of my life. But they’re great and they love me and I love them, so. So tell us, what were some of your boring stories? And you know, people, people that are listening to this, you gotta know that My ladies and I speak a rather unique language, like, we literally can, can talk about our saboteurs and talk about our limiting beliefs as boring stories, like, I’m sure you remember, Allie, from, in the program, you’ll see me, you know, faint sleeping, you know, when one of us Oh, yes, yes.

You know, you heard me say, oh my gosh, this story is so fucking boring. Yes. But, it comes from a place of love because in the end, if we’ve told story, you know, enough, become boring. So tell us A lot of mine were just l never gonna happen for me be meant for this. My bod it’s not good enough to d around me can have it, bu Just things like that.

And I started to believe it for a really long time, for several months, maybe even a year. It really started to weigh on me. I know that I was a completely different person. And I just, at one point, knew that this was not me and this was not how I wanted to be or feel or put myself out into the world. So Wow, you know, that’s a huge thing.

I mean, that’s the power of these These boring stories, right? Because here you are, a collegiate level volleyball player, you know, somebody who’s competitive and, you know, from your volleyball career, you know how important mindset is. Right, exactly. Exactly. And I never really took the time in my personal life to, to dive into that and to take care of my mental health.

In those aspects and this journey has really brought that to the forefront. I spent so much time working on the physical aspect of things and I really do believe that that has springboarded me into where I am now. I also know that there are all these critical pieces and and mindset for me was the last critical piece for sure.

And I love how you put that because It really is about having the whole package. Like it’s about allowing yourself to say, Hey, you know, I’m taking care of all of this physical stuff, which is amazing. It’s not like anyone saying, you know, you have to trade one for the other, but I want to have the full package.

Right. And it was, it was really interesting because as I was kind of discovering you on Instagram, um, and I started listening to your podcast and then I was reading your book. I kind of all started to make sense. I was like, wow, I have been building my bump squad. I have been getting all these people on my team and I have my doctors.

I have my family. I have my friends. I have my nutritionist who has been a godsend, you know, all these different things and an acupuncturist who’s been on my side and all these different things that just felt right for me, but I knew something was definitely missing. And so. When I found you, it was, it was a no brainer for me.

I was like, no, I have to do this. No matter what. This is what I need to do. I mean, but I, I mean, and I love that. I love that. I mean, it was, it was such an amazing, like, heart to heart fit, like immediately. Like it was a massive hell yes for me. And I’m like, Oh my God, I just, I can’t wait to get my hands on her, you know, in that process.

I love the way you’ve described building your bump squad because. Even the way you describe that is like a woman who loves her life and loves her dreams so much that she’s like, okay, I’m gonna have this. I’m going to have that. I’m bringing this person on. It’s literally how, you know, even if we take this and compare it to professional sports, like you would never show up on the court without your coach, you would never.

You know, not have the team, you know, physical therapist or, you know, somebody there who’s going to be checking you guys if, you know, somebody sustains an injury or sprain while you’re on the volleyball court, like you have a beautiful team of people that are lined up behind you to support that success.

Yeah, definitely. And I think the most. I guess beautiful piece for me that I’ve been reflecting on quite a bit over the last few months actually, is that I know, and you’ve talked about this quite a bit about being grateful for the things that have brought, you know, destruction or hardship in your life and I have learned how to be so extremely grateful for this journey, um, not only with lupus, but the fertility journey as well, because I’ve grown so much as a person and I know that everything that I have learned and everything that I’ve done up to this point will only continue to help me improve.

and make my life even that much better and the life of my future family, you know, and everything like that. Wow, and you know what? One of the most inspiring things from your story is that, you know, you did have this health history. You did have to learn how to manage your symptoms of lupus and how you manage that through your life.

And, you know, some people just stop at that. They’re like, uh, you know, this is, this is hard. I can’t do this. But you’re like, no, lupus is not going to define me. It’s part of my life. It’s an aspect of my life, but this is not going to rob me of the thing that I want most in my life. So tell us about that.

Yeah. I mean, I guess over the last year or so has been the first time within about eight or nine years that I’ve been diagnosed that I’ve actually forgotten that I had it. Things were so in control. And I wasn’t experiencing flare ups or extreme fatigue or tightness, and I just was living and I’ve just forgotten that it was there.

And I know that had so much to do with the things that I was doing to take care of myself and all the people who said, Oh, you can just eat whatever you want. It won’t affect you or. You can just stay out and party and do whatever you want. It’s like, no, I, I kind of, I want, but I know how that stuff makes me feel.

And I’ve just chosen to fuel myself with things that, that make me feel good and like myself. Wow. I mean, I hope that you really like, I mean, I get that you get this, but saying it and in such a powerful way. You’re really speaking to us as a woman who has lived the experience. Like, that is coming through so loud and clear.

Like, it’s not like you were laying on your couch hoping that this would somehow go away. Like, you actively took control. So tell us a little bit about, like, tell us about that fire in you. Like, what is it that had you say, like, okay, I learned how to create You know, a life and, and manage this lupus, like, how did you decide that you wanted to start doing the same when it came to your fertility?

I think kind of like what I was saying before, I realized that I had been putting so much effort into all of these things and I was ignoring my mindset and I was, I was underestimating how important that really was. And it wasn’t necessarily intentional. Um, but once I was aware of that and aware that that was the piece that I really needed to focus on, I was determined and I, there was no way that I was going to just say, Oh, it’ll, it’ll just come.

It’ll be fine. It’ll, you know, everything will work out. I just, I had to approach it head on. Like I had with the rest of. The pieces in my journey. Wow. Did you notice anything different about mindset when it came to your fertility versus mindset when it was you? working with the lupus? Yeah, I think with with the lupus, I, I kind of knew more about it.

I had more experience with it. And so it was something I had learned how to control a little bit better over the years. But with the fertility journey, it was something that I wasn’t expecting to be an issue. And then when it was, I felt like, you know, stranded out on an island and I didn’t know how to really approach that.

And what it was going to take. Oh my gosh. I just, Ooh, I just got a chill. Like I was thinking like to myself, I’m like, oh my gosh, here’s this woman. She’s, she’s faced with two legitimate, like pivotal health issues. And so, so talk to us a little bit about what were some of the things that really helped you shift your mindset?

When it came to the fertility, like you talked about like hearing me, you know, doing my thing on Instagram and here in the podcast, but like, what were some of the lessons? Um, I learned a lot about being grateful and that for me was the first, that was like the starting point for me. As soon as I started focusing on things and experiences and just moments in my life that I’ve been grateful for, it was easy.

It was easy for me to, to see things in a different way that I had never thought about. seen that way before. I started learning a lot about self love and following your intuition and your gut feeling. So often I had been kind of, you know, been told by other people, it’ll be fine, things will work out. And, and that’s all good and fine, but for me, that, that’s not how I approach things.

I, I have to, I have to do something about it. And I know that we’ve talked about that before, too. So yeah, so part of, part of doing that for me was just letting go and just trusting and I remember talking to you when, when we first met and you said to me, well, you could be, you could be pregnant right now.

And I was kind of like, Oh, maybe, but I was like, I don’t know, laughing, but, but I was like, maybe, and, and that was also the first cycle that I kind of approached with the mindset of. If it’s not this time, that means I just have another opportunity the next time. And it’s, everything is going to be okay, no matter what.

And I had never thought about it that way before it had always been, Oh, another failure. Oh, some, you know, there’s more wrong with me or this is never going to happen for me. And yeah, it was just, it was just crazy. And then it was about two weeks into our work together. When I actually found out that I was pregnant, so.

Isn’t that crazy? Like, isn’t that like, oh my gosh. Well, and this is kind of funny, because like, some people don’t believe me when I say this, but it’s like, the process of saying hell yes, right? Like, the woman you have to become. In order to even take that first step is dramatic, right? Like, tell us about that because you said how you, I mean, like, you’re like instantaneous.

You’re like, I’m doing this, like I’m doing this. There had to have been something within you that was awakened for you to be like, you know, cause you could have used your youth. You could have used so many excuses to not put yourself on this path. Like you actually were all in. So, so tell us about that.

Tell us about like who you became by just saying that hell yes. Well, I think because I had been so committed to the other things that I had done in my life, I, I had no reason to doubt that committing to my mindset and committing to myself was even, you know, a thought it just, it just was something that I knew that I had to do.

And I knew that by doing that, I was going to work on myself becoming a better person. And then in turn, being able to be a better person for the people that I love in my life. And I know right now things are a little crazy out in the world and it starts with loving yourself so that you can, you can share that love with the people around you and the people in the world with you.

Amen. Amen. I mean, that’s really true because the change starts within, like if we have, if we want to have any hope of changing the world, it all begins with us and who we’re being. Right. Because we have so many opportunities throughout our day to show up from a place of love, to show up from a place of hell.

Yes. With anyone that we interact with. Right. And the people who do that best are the people that love themselves because you can’t give what you don’t have. Right. So that’s really, I mean, it’s amazing to me because it happened for you so fast. But what is even more amazing, I mean, I love this shit. I think it’s fantastic.

I love lightning strikes like this. You know, what was interesting though, is you didn’t stop. You didn’t just say, Oh, well, you know, I’m pregnant now. Yeah. I don’t need this mindset shit. Like you showed up every single week, raising your hand, getting the coaching. Sometimes when, even when I had to like, you know, drag you out in the process.

Yeah. But like, You were doing it. You became that woman. You quickly brought this into your life and you decided to keep going. So, so what was it that, that within you that said, Hey, yeah, I’m pregnant, but like, I’m making this change. I’m continuing down this path. Right. Well, I think first of all, I have spent so much time, just like many of the women, so much time just trying to get pregnant, that when I actually became pregnant, I was kind of like, oh my goodness, now what?

Now what do I do? Because mm-Hmm, , you spend so much time preparing for it. And so actually going through this process, being pregnant was incredible because I was taking all of the lessons that you were teaching us. You know, and applying them to my mindset on this pregnancy journey in the beginning can be really scary and, and I learned how to acknowledge those fears and choose how to act differently on them than I would have in the past.

Yeah, because I think that’s one of the short sighted mistakes that a lot of us make on this journey is we put all of this pressure on just getting pregnant. We completely forget that there’s about another 40 weeks we got to go, right? Like, there’s a, there’s an additional set of weeks that comes after that initial, like, positive pregnancy test.

And I remember when you told me. I’m pregnant. Like, you know, like I can’t, I think it was either an email or a text message that you sent. And I was like, Holy shit, this one works fast. I know I said, I think you did some weird voodoo crap to me. Cause I don’t know what happened, but yeah, I mean, it’s that thing.

Like I really think it’s that switch. For that flips it. I mean, it’s a switch that flips for every woman at different times. Yeah. Like some women, you know, will the, the switch will flip halfway through some way for women. I mean obviously for you it was like, you know, from the get go. It is that thing that changes within you that.

Look, I am doing this. I am doing everything I can. I am showing up. This is for me. I am worthy of this because you had to believe all of those things at some level to take that leap. Yeah, I did. And there were plenty of people who have said, you know, I believe in you, but wow, this sounds like this is going to be a long haul for you or yikes.

It seems like you’ve got a lot of hurdles here, but I think you can do it, you know, and they, they didn’t mean it in a, in a nasty way. It’s just. I think a lot of people are trying to be realistic with what they think and what they know, but once you start to practice your mindset work and you, you learn about this whole new level of thinking and believing and acting and being, it changes the way you perceive all of those things.

Oh, I love that thinking, believing being and doing. I mean, I just love that. I love that. You know, so, so tell us like, what is it that, that you would say has been the biggest change for you? Like, because this is the kind of thing that you’re going to be able to teach this, this baby that’s on the way. Like, what do you think is one of the biggest lessons that you walked away with?

I know you talked about the gratitude. But what did you learn about yourself? There are a few things. First of all, I learned that we all deserve to love ourselves through self care and that’s going to look different for everybody. For me, it really started with the physical aspect of things, but then it really has turned into the mental aspect for me.

Just doing my morning practice and taking that time in the morning for myself to just be in silence, meditate. Journal read, just think and set my intentions for the day that has changed. The way that I perceive life in general. And then also I have learned to be my own self advocate and to really just trust my gut instincts.

Like I said, there have been other people in my life that I have. Doubted or just didn’t always believe in me, and I had to believe in myself no matter what they were saying. And so by doing that, I was able to get to this point and find you and, and do all of these, these things that have changed my life completely.

And have springboarded me into the next phase of my life of being a mom, and it’s incredible. Mm, mm. What was it like to be surrounded by the extraordinary women that are in the group? Because you’ve got to admit, there’s some pretty amazing women. What was it like to be in that, like, because some people can be nervous about that, and some people, like, get weird about that, but like, what was your experience?

I absolutely felt inspired and motivated by all these women. So much time is spent in your own head and you think you’re alone and all of a sudden you meet all these incredible women and you realize we’re not alone and we’re stronger than what we, we believe in ourselves to be. And I think that for me was, was a huge part, which is why I was So committed to being in on the calls every weekend and just listening to other women and hearing what they have to say and questions they were asking coaching they were receiving and it all somehow I could pull a piece and it would all pertain to something in my life that I could go ahead and and move forward with as well.

Wow. Wow. And so, you know, let’s, let’s go back a bit because, all right, so you went from living with lupus and, and doing all of these things to take care of yourself. You were trying to conceive for how long? Um, it was a year and we waited a little bit after we got married and then I knew I was having irregular cycles and having issues with that.

And so when we knew we were ready to begin trying for our family. I actually immediately went to the doctor. I didn’t wait for, you know, the six months or the year where they say, of course, not determined alley, not alley. That doesn’t take anything lying down. Yeah. So my husband and I actually both went in and both did all the different testing and things just to try to rule out some of the issues.

And. And so, uh, yeah, I was having irregularity with my cycle for several years, but it didn’t become a bigger issue for me until we decided to start having kids. And that was kind of where everything started. And that was when I really started to focus on really honing in on my dietary changes and my lifestyle changes.

And then a lot of things just. Kind of like I said, it just was like very bizarre at all came to me right when it needed to I was working on all these pieces and then when I felt confident in those those parts then I Moved on to the next part and it was then eventually it was you and so it was great Yeah, that’s it’s incredible to me that you You know, you go from these challenges to making your mind up, Hey, I’m not taking this, you know, lying down.

I’m going to put my back into this just like I’ve put my back into everything else. I mean, this is, it’s the amazing thing about the drive in, in really successful women, whether it’s career, whether it’s in athletics and all these amazing things that you’re doing. That you say to yourself, Hey, I’m not going to leave this piece out.

I’m really going to go for it. So, so what, you know, what’s some of the wisdom that, that you would share? with the women listening about, you know, what, what would you tell them? Like remembering back to where you were before you started thinking like a woman who succeeds on this journey, like what would you want them to know?

I think the biggest thing is respect yourself and love yourself to do what you know, you need to do for yourself. If that means doing something that feels uncomfortable or odd or different for you, that means it’s probably something that you really need to do. And I love that. I love that. And that’s, I just love that because You’re somebody that was so committed to getting out of her comfort zone.

Like, you didn’t use any excuses. Like, any of, you know, all that shit that you hear me like, railing about. You didn’t use any of those things. Like, you didn’t cry. Like, I, it must have been scary when you were about to take this leap with, with me. Definitely. But you, but tell us, tell us why you did it anyway.

You were scared and did it anyway. I think just because I had I had done so many other things that I was afraid of doing and I’ve seen the positive outcome of it. And I just, I just knew that if I was afraid and I knew that if something seems scary or uncomfortable for me, it was something that I really needed to do for myself.

And it meant that I needed to, to learn something new and continue to educate myself and improve myself so that not only can I become a mom, but I can impact my students and my, my players that I coach and whoever else I am encountering in my life and do it now, rather than waiting down the road for something to.

Kick me in the butt to do it and just do it now and never look back. Wow, Allie. Like, oh man, just hearing that come out of your mouth. Like, one of the things that I love about you, one of the zillion things, is that you’re really representing what it means to be in the empowered feminine. Like, you’re a woman who, it takes her role in leadership, not only in her life, but with her friends, her family, her students, her players.

Like, you’re taking that role of empowered feminine leadership to the next level by deciding who you are going to be and expecting the world around you to organize. You know, like, get on board, baby, because I’m the one person that knows where she’s headed and you can jump on this train, like, if you want to go, but I’m, I’m heading straight to Mama Town.

Yeah. Like, that’s totally, it’s like written all over you. So I just love that and, and you think you’re going to be able to teach your kids? Something in the future result have become, Oh, definitely this, like I said, without learning these, these lessons and going on this journey myself, I don’t know what my life would look like.

And who’s to say, maybe I would find it later down the road, but, but now I know going into motherhood. I get to teach all of this to my child and I’m so excited to do that and to bring positivity into the world through a child. And that to me is just the most incredible blessing. Oh, it is. And you get to be able, you’re teaching it from your heart because you’ve actually lived it.

You’re not just going to be somebody who just spouts off these, like, you know, these internet memes or these quotes because you read it somewhere. Like you’re going to be able to teach it because you lived it. And I know that if, if I can do it, then anybody can do it. I’m not anything, you know, crazy or special or whatever.

I’m just a regular person. So I think that we tell ourselves like, Oh, you know, that’s for somebody else. I can’t do that. That’s not for me. And it’s just not true. Yeah. Yeah. It’s so not true. It’s so not true. My love. And I love that you are living proof. So that’s awesome. Well, Ali. Thank you so much for showing up in this way and your generosity in sharing the challenges that you faced and, and really sharing with the women out there that are listening, how you were able to turn it around what you had to ignite in yourself and the woman that you had to become to get here.

That’s amazing. Oh, and you know what? You got to tell us how far along are you? I am about 12 and a half weeks along. Yay! So great! That’s so amazing. Well, I can assure you that the audience is sending you so much love. I know I am sending you so much love, and I know that the ladies who Had the blessing of being with you in the program.

I know they’re going to be sending you so much love. So thank you for being with us, my darling. Thanks, Roseanne. Thank you so much for having me. Hey loves wasn’t Allie’s story. Just so inspiring. I just, whenever I hear her voice, I just want to eat her up. She’s just so delightful and so down to earth and so strong in.

In her conviction and her commitment to being a mom and you have this within you as well, my love, taking leaps in the name of yourself and your dreams pays off. And it’s incredible how quickly when you become the woman that learns how to say hell yes to those things that are a hell yes for you, how quickly Gus in the universe will respond.

It still blows my mind that just weeks after saying her hell yes, Allie was given a beautiful gift and not only of this pregnancy, but of becoming the woman who can look back on her life with no regret. She knows that she showed up to this journey, mind and body. It is truly an inspiration. And my loves, if you want to learn what Allie learned and really ignite this in your own life and on your journey, my fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months.

and say hell yes to covering your bases, mind and body so that you can live your fertility journey full out. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this amazing program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for your interview with me there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom and dreams come true.

You heard Allie’s story. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, my love, you’ve got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success till next time. Change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the fearlessly fertile podcast.

Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you when it comes to your dreams. Keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.