EP84 She Made It Easy For Her Baby To Find Her

In the face of repeated IUI failures, irregular cycles, grief, and 3-years of trying, Maren could have given up. Instead, this amazing woman took the leap to trust herself, learned to let go, and will be closing out 2020 with her miracle.  Maren is living proof of how quickly your journey can change, when you change your mindset.

Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 84. She made it easy for her baby to find her. Oh, my life. I’m so excited to be with you this week. Oh, so much wisdom is about to be rained down on you. So delighted to be bringing this particular interview to all of you.

This is an interview that, man, I mean, like I seriously, um, I, there is no Question that I am a blessed ass bitch, and I never take it for granted because it seems like on a daily, weekly, monthly, and annual basis, I have incredible reminders of what a blessing it is to work with truly extraordinary women who are living this journey unapologetically, have minds that are open, who are willing to learn, who are willing to take big leaps and do shit In the name of making their dreams come true.

Like, there’s an old saying, and it’s often attributed to Dale Carnegie. I’m not 100 percent sure if he’s the one that actually said it, and frankly, it’s fucking irrelevant. But generally speaking, people say that he’s the one that said it, was this idea that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

And when I think about the women I get to work with and the insane Shit that they unleash in their lives when they start to work on what they think and believe. And when they really begin to think, believe, and take action like women who succeed on this journey, like, I’m like fucking over the moon to be surrounding myself with women like this.

And so this is why I am just delighted to be sharing this interview that I have in store for this week. When you meet Marin, you are going to just flip the fuck out and, and just be overwhelmed with how sensitive, how smart, how thoughtful this woman is. And, you know, Marin had to overcome some serious challenges on this journey.

She was dealing with grief. She was dealing. With loss in her life and trying to conceive in her forties, all of these things that would presumably stand for the proposition that she had the, the card stacked against her. But like all of my miracle mamas, she wasn’t up for making excuses. She wasn’t willing to hide behind the, the typical low vibe shit that we tell ourselves in order to.

Sabotage. The manifestation of what we want most in this life. Marin just has such a strong spirit. She was like, look, yeah, I’m scared, I’m feeling fucked up, something’s not right here. I know I have to do something different. Marin, as you’re gonna hear, wasn’t just a woman who was willing to sit on her hands and keep doing the same old shit, expecting a different result.

She had to be willing to lean into this vision. She had for a bigger life, she had a daughter already, and she could have easily said to herself, I should just be happy with what I had. No, you are going to hear how this woman took responsibility for making her dreams come true. She stopped making excuses.

She wasn’t going to wait around for someone to give her permission. She certainly wasn’t saying, let me talk to my husband first. She was like, no. No, I’m living this life. I’m showing up 100%. I’m doing this for me. I’m doing this for my family. And I am not going to keep repeating the same old boring patterns that have kept me stuck.

I am in this to win this. I’m gonna get out of the fucking struggle and I’m gonna receive what I desire with ease. She’s gonna blow you away. So here is my conversation with the glorious, magnificent, red lipstick wearing, big heart having, Maren. So Maren, I am so So excited to have you here. You’re just, I, you know, whenever I remember thinking, looking back at all the ladies in the program, I just remember you always jumped on so high energy, so beautiful red lipstick doing your thing.

So it’s such an honor to have you here. So why don’t you start us off by telling the ladies a little bit about how you found yourself on this journey? Well, first of all, thank you for inviting me and giving me this opportunity to share because it’s, that’s really what helped me so much with this process was just listening to other people and You know making it feel like you’re not so alone.

I guess what started me on the journey I mean, it’s I’m not you know, I don’t it’s not a sob story But it’s probably a little different than some other people but I lost my mother in October So I was sort of dealing with a whole grief You know portion of this while also having not been able to get pregnant for the last You know, two and a half years, almost three years.

Um, I have to start by saying I have a four year old as well. And, you know, I so badly wanted her to have a sibling and, but my husband’s a little bit younger than me and he wasn’t quite ready after we had her. I would have done it, you know, started trying right away. So we waited a little bit. And then I thought, you know, no problem.

I’d be able to get pregnant without, without blinking. And that’s just not how it went for me. So, you know, we, we went the traditional route, I guess, of trying fertility assistance and it didn’t work for me. And I kind of had it made up in my mind. I was not going to do, you know, certain things. So I wanted it to, I wanted to sort of start minimally and hope that.

That would work and it just didn’t and once I kind of got to that place in my brain I didn’t resign myself to not continue on I knew I was going to I just sort of had to change my tactic But then my mom, you know into the final stages of of her disease and she passed so everything kind of Like was on hold but also magnified at the same time and I was You know feeling so sad and so alone and so defeated in so many ways not just the baby part But also, you know, just this i’m an only child and I lost my dad 15 years ago and, and she was my best friend and it was just, I, I was searching for something and I didn’t, I’ve always been like a spiritual person, you know, believed in mediums and psychics and cards.

And, you know, I love doing all of that stuff. And so I was always searching and searching, searching. So I started sort of searching, I guess, on the internet for meditation and just more natural approaches to kind of getting my mind and my body connected in a way that I could. I kind of always describe it like I just couldn’t connect them.

I couldn’t feel the pain, but yet I was going through the grief. And I think a lot of that probably stemmed from losing my dad and trying to just like get through that at a young age, I didn’t really allow myself to sort of ever feel it. And um, I was really, I was really feeling it and, but not feeling it, you know, and I needed to figure out how to connect those two so I could work through it in a healthy way this time and then hopefully be able to open up a little bit more.

To be able to welcome another soul into our lives. So, I, yeah. You know, I was just going to point out that, you know, man, that’s really advanced shit you were doing. I mean, you had, you had the personal awareness to recognize That there was something going on for you. There was something bigger. That, you know, the loss of your mom, and, you know, that there was this block.

That’s massive! Yeah, there was a block. There was a big block. And I think I kind of knew that, too, when we were doing, um, IUI. I think I knew that. I was like, I’m doing this, but I know this isn’t gonna work. Like, I was telling myself, this isn’t gonna work. So it all kind of started, you know, before learning so much through you, I sort of started thinking about things I didn’t really know existed for me later on, like that we were going to talk about.

And so much of it clicked once, once, you know, I started the program, but I started looking for meditation programs and things that, you know, different sort of fertility options. And that sort of led me to your website and I started reading about you and I was just Seems like something that could be really like a good fit for me because I’m not, uh, I’m not great with Therapy.

Mm hmm. I don’t I just don’t do great with one on one and I love the idea of Having a coach but not a therapist But somebody that you could talk to like a friend because I’ve always talked to my friends, but I needed an expert I needed somebody who had been there done that, you know, and I remember we had our first interview.

I think I asked you You know, like what the percentage rate was like, well, if you are asking me, if I’m going to get you pregnant, like I’m going to physically get you pregnant, but there’s been a lot of really positive, you know, outcomes to after going through the program. And it was so like, okay, I have to look at this differently.

I can’t look at this as like, okay, this person is going to do this for me. I have to do this for myself. And this person is going to help me on this journey. And that kind of like. Made it click for me. I think I was so scared about taking that leap the hell Yes, and that hell no and my husband was out of town and you know all of like listening to like, you know It’s a lot of money and listening to you I just sort of being like you gotta make a decision and I always like other people’s opinions I mean, I ultimately make my own decision, but I do I tend to ask friends or my right hand at work or you know Whatever it is And I just had to make that decision in that second, you make, you do such an amazing job of just like, like, what’s like telling somebody, you know, just make a decision.

Like, it’s your choice. You don’t need to like waffle about it. If this is something that you feel really strongly about, you need to do it. And I did, and I, and I needed to hear that. And it was like the best decision I ever made. And I tell people all of the time. You know, like it was so worth it for me and I had no idea like I need to quantify things I want to know what’s What the outcome is before I like leap, but I didn’t I just did it And I remember that I remember that moment.

I remember feeling how spooked you were and i’m like This was a line of demarcation That’s why that’s why I am the way I am at that point because you want to change or you don’t And nobody can strong arm win to that. It’s simply a hell yes or a hell no, quit spinning, just fucking do it. Right? That’s right.

That’s right. Yeah, it’s so funny. I’ve been, um, this is gonna sound really obnoxious, but I’ve been courted about, to do this sort of like entrepreneurial, you know, group. And, you know, they’ve had me back a few times, but nobody can tell me exactly why it’s so great. And I never took the plunge to do it.

Because I don’t know if I need this. But there was just, I wanted this so badly. I wanted something to like, you know, get me to this next place. That I, I just I did it. And I’m so glad I did it. I’m so glad you did too! It’s what I needed at that time without knowing that, you know, without really knowing it.

And, and having that blind faith, and I think that was a big metaphor for my whole life. You know, it wasn’t just like the entrepreneurial thing. I’m like, okay, I’m already an entrepreneur and I’m really happy. But like, you know, I, I’m sure it would have helped me in other ways, but This was so I guess this was so personal for me.

This was so important like mentally that I had to I had to do it and I needed it to physically, you know, help me as well. Yes. Yes. Well, so let’s talk about that because all right, so you’re, you’re in a position where you lost your mom, you know, was, and frankly is your best friend. You’re still connected to her today.

Yeah. You’re, you’re in this place where you’re trying to call in the second baby. Yeah. And so, why don’t you tell us a little bit about, you know, and then you made this crazy leap. You had this woman saying, hey, it’s either hell yes or hell no, what do you want to do? I mean, you were really, when you started, you were really at this precipice where you had to be willing to stand on your own and make a choice.

That must have been massive. Yeah, and when I was explaining it to my husband, I was so terrified when he got back from his trip. I was trying to tell him, okay, I signed up for this program and, like, laying it out. Not that it would have mattered, you know, that he would have been upset or happy, but I was so happy with it.

He was so proud that I’d found something, I think, that was gonna help me. You know, and when I’m talking about this, a lot of this was grief based because I was just a mess and it was affecting, you know, the other thing in my life and so much, I mean multiple things, but I, I think he was really, really happy that I found something that I was so like after the very first session, the first meeting with all the ladies and with you, the coaching session, I just had, like, I was crying and I was so happy and You know, having this conversation with him and I could just see how like he was like, okay, she really needs this, you know, and I realized how much I needed it.

So it was huge for, it was really huge for me. And I’m, you know, like I said, I’m not a therapy person. I don’t like, I don’t cry like that. I don’t, you know, I much rather just talk to a girlfriend, but it was so impactful because, and I always say this to people when I’m talking about when I’m talking about you.

Whether or not the question somebody asks you pertains to me, pertains to your life, my life, it, the way that you respond and the advice and the coaching that you give back is so, like, so relevant to some part of my life. I was always able to digest it in such, like, a meaningful way that it kept propelling me forward, if that makes sense.

It will, it makes perfect sense. And, and here’s why. Because You know, you’re a spiritual person and we, we have to understand that there are no coincidences, that the people, the circumstances, the situations we find ourselves in are there for us. And that’s why I love, you know, I handpick every single woman that’s in this program for a reason.

Yeah. You know, really smart people do not sit back and say, Oh, I already heard this or this has nothing to do with me. The smartest people always say, how is what I’m hearing working for me? Yeah. Does this pertain to my life? Because you’re somebody who was coming in and saying, I want to change things.

And so you didn’t, I mean, that’s, that’s why, well, it’s one of the zillion reasons why you’re successful. Um, but you know, you, we, if we get too sold on our own patterns that we aren’t willing to see the things that are happening around us as gifts and as nudges in the right direction, then we miss the point.

So I mean, you just demonstrated something really important is like, even though something doesn’t seem to apply to you, really astute women will say. You know, what application does this have for me? How might this apply to me? Cause that’s how you get to the next level. Completely. And every time, you know, I did a module and I read through it and I’m going to be totally honest.

There were a couple of weeks where I was super busy and like I was always trying to do, you know, have, make time for it. And there were a couple that I did not have time to actually like write out. I tried to always read through it, but I. I’ve never been like a big journalist, you know, but it was so cathartic It was so nice to be able to just like get my thoughts out and write it down and then Before talking with you today just being able to look back and read through my journal or my my notebook I guess of all of the you know the experience that I had and it was i’m so grateful that I had that because so much of it like Whether I knew it or not, like especially there was a particular, you know, um, module about a bum squad that I had put, was putting together before I had met you without really realizing it.

And just for whatever reason, the universe bringing me the right people at the right time, all of you together, it was so important to be able to recognize it. And I don’t know if I would have recognized it had I not gone through that. That work with you too, you know what I mean? And I’m so grateful for them.

And I’m still for all of you, cause I’m still in it every, you know, when I, every time I get to see my doctor, every time I get to see my chiropractor, every time I get to see my, or talk to my acupuncturist at now getting to talk to you again, it’s just, you know, these people that were so important and the foundation of, you know, really changing my mind.

Set and being able to welcome in baby. Well, okay. And so let’s break that down because look, you went from being a woman in grief and the throes of grief, and you start creating and curating this group of people who were going to come together to support you in the process of calling in this baby. Like, like you went from, I mean, it just, it kind of, like you kind of went CEO, babe.

You kind of went CEO. I really did. Like, I mean, instead of being like, you have to, yeah, you really have to kind of become captain. Yeah. I mean, it’s really an interesting process. I mean, isn’t that quite. I mean, it is, it should be pretty clear right now that, that there is method to this madness from totally requiring you to make a decision to then All of these steps, it’s like, it literally is part of the process of ushering in the transformation.

Completely. Maybe you should write a book or something. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I probably should. I probably should. That’s been on my list for a while. So why don’t you tell us a little bit, so you’re in this process, you’re starting to transform your mindset, what did you start noticing about you? I mean, you, you got the stamp of approval, well, not like you needed it, but you know, you’ll support from your husband, which was awesome.

Well, and I felt like we were off, you know, for a while about like, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure he was on board really want, like he would have been just fine having one. And I just had this like feeling that we were meant to have to, and my daughter was meant to have a sibling. And, you know, so it was hard for me to reconcile that for a long time.

And so I felt like he was really on board and I felt like this like solidified it, like he was really on board and I really needed that. But what I think what I noticed about myself the most was that. Not that I second guessed myself a lot. I did. I mean, I do, even though, you know, I’m in a position where I have to make decisions all the time, but I think that’s why I sort of seek out other people’s opinions.

Cause I want to make the best decision and I like having, um, you know, but I had to really, I had to do this for me and I had to make that choice and I had to be selfish and I’m not great at being selfish, even though I’m an only child, I’m not great at being selfish. I’m like a yes person to other people, especially when it comes to events or parties or meetings or, you know, I always try and like move things around so that I can be.

available and do things. And I don’t want to hurt somebody’s feelings. That was a big thing for me. I don’t like hurting people’s feelings. I don’t like upsetting somebody else. So I’ll try and change things so that, you know, it works for them. And I think I sort of had to just be a little selfish. Uh, and I’m not saying I’m not totally, you know, selfless.

I’m just Or that I’m totally, you know, not, not selfish. I’m, I can be in certain aspects, but that was something that like my daughter has damped every Saturday, you know, and I couldn’t take her anymore. And I had to like, be okay. With allowing my husband to do it or my cousin who takes, you know, it was taking her and her cousin, allowing them like to just handle it where I’d be like trying to bend over backwards at times to make sure I could figure it out.

They just had to figure it out because I was invested in this program every Saturday for Saturday, right? Yeah. Every Saturday. Yeah. For eight weeks. And it was really, it was really important to me. And so allowing myself that time to really like. And you say this a lot too with meditation and, you know, allowing myself that time just to be like, have it for me.

And that was really, that was a bit hard for me and really recognizing that, you know, like you can know something about yourself, but like actually recognizing it and acknowledging it. And then, you know, of course, like. Going back to that is really easy. You slide back into old habits after you’re like on this, like, I’m trying not to do, to do that.

Although it made it really easy with the pandemic, you know, cause we didn’t have nearly as many obligations obviously for a very long time. And I’m noticing that, you know, things are creeping back in and I’m saying yes to everything and I’m not sort of standing that ground. And I’m trying to go back and read through what I wrote down and, and stick to those new kind of rules for myself because.

You know, I, I transformed and I changed and I liked who I was becoming and I don’t, you know, I want to be able to continue that on. It’s really hard to stop after eight weeks because you know, you don’t have that like same like cheerleading section every weekend talking to you and reminding you that like, you know, this is for you and you have to remind yourself.

And that is really hard for me. Yes. Well, and it’s really, it’s, you know, it’s a daily choice, you know, you know, this is I’m obsessed with the subject matter. I’ve got like eight books on my nightstand. I’m constantly reading about this. I live and breathe this, but that doesn’t take away the reality that it is a daily choice.

And in the end. It’s funny how this comes full circle because you’re like, are you going to get me pregnant? I’m like, no, I’m not going to physically get you pregnant. The work all begins and ends with you. Yes. And, and that level of responsibility can be shocking, but in the end, it’s all we’ve got. So if you’re going to, to make a massive change or you’re wanting to create an entirely different experience on this journey, you’ve got to be the one to do it.

That was eyeopening for me to read that, to hear that, to learn that from you and from so many other women. Oh my God, the women were so smart. That was just amazing to be surrounded by so many women. What, you know, we didn’t know each other and it was so, it was hard. It’s hard for me still. Cause I’m like, I wonder what’s going on with them.

Like what happened? Like, I don’t have their contact information. So I’m like, you know, when I hear somebody on the podcast, I’m like, Oh my gosh, that’s so amazing. Yeah. Because you, you invest in people, even though you don’t really know them, you want, you, you want, you want to see them succeed and whatever, you know, whatever it is, but especially on this journey, because it’s so taxing and it’s so, and I, and I, I talked to my girlfriend about this, um, you know, the saboteurs having some sort of reminder of like, you know, when those.

Those voices creep in, um, like taking a rubber band and, you know, hitting yourself with a rubber band on your wrist physically to remind yourself like, no, you know, like you need to get those voices out of your head and you need to keep going forward. And you know, it’s so easy to slide back. It’s so easy to slide back because this journey, this journey is just not, it’s not, it’s not fair.

It’s not easy. You second guess yourself, you demean yourself, you blame yourself and You know, you need a reminder that you’re like not to do that. Right, right. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Well, obviously, you know, you were starting to make some changes within yourself and you started to see, you know, the, the result.

And so what are some of the biggest takeaways for you? I think for me, I had to, my, my number one biggest takeaway was I had to learn to let go. I know we haven’t really talked about this up until now, but, you know, I had to learn to let go. I had to take all of the things, all of the pieces, um, all of the modules, you know, I had to learn how to use all of that to let go because I was holding on to not just the grief, which was blocking me, but the second guessing and the yes ing and the, you know, all of those things.

And it’s not like you don’t want to care because I, I care deeply, but I had to let it go. And in a sense of like the actual fertility journey, like the tracking was really big for me. I’m like being overly obsessive about, you know, what I was eating or, you know, what I was putting in my body and, and, and, you know, you talk about the lotions and the potions and the, you know, all the diet stuff.

And like I had changed my diet, you know, it was gluten free, um, more because I have Yeah. Yeah. irritable bowel issues, but also, you know, I wanted to be clean in my body and I wanted to like make it as, you know, ready as I possibly could. And I was dairy free and, you know, taking this, and I do swear by this.

I took those, you know, hormone, um, balance, the natural balance are called by Tex Berry, um, because it had helped my cousin, you know, all of the, the natural stuff that I was doing. And I had to just be able to sort of like, Like, let the control go a bit about those things. I could still implement them in my life, which I was, but not be so, right, like, so hyper focused on it where it was also be, also a block.

Right. And I just let it go. Energy you put with matters, right? Like the energy you do those things with, like, if it’s fear based energy that you’re doing all the things, then Right. It’s with an expectation of failure, but it sounds like you’re turning that around. I think I did. I really did. I had like, I had a girlfriend, like one of my best friends from college and I were both trying to get pregnant at the same time.

And she was also having some issues and you know, about six weeks, I think before I found out or eight weeks, six weeks. Um, she told me she was pregnant and I, I was genuinely so happy for her. I could hear the fear in her voice a little bit too, not fear, but more hesitation telling me because she didn’t want to upset me, but I was so genuinely happy for her, you know, but yet I had this like twinge.

You know of like why the fuck isn’t this happening for me You know and it was right at the beginning of the of the the um program and then you know Journey with you. So it was like perfect timing. It was like a perfect storm, you know of like that happened And then I knew I was like, yep I gotta change something And the masculine and the feminine energy I have like i’m a very feminine person, but like masculine same time, you know, like I I Do the things I have to get it done just because that’s sort of what my life dictates, but also, you know, trying to reconcile, like what that type of energy was doing to my life or, you know, the nurturing energy that I needed to bring more.

I like all of the takeaways. I mean, I could take away every, you know, something from every single module, but I would say for me, the biggest was letting go. And, and it is hard to describe, I think for somebody maybe who hasn’t gone through this yet, but, you know. That, for me, meant all of those pieces that I learned with you and figuring out how to apply them to Let Go.

I wish I could. I wish I could verbally, like, explain it a little bit better. I can’t. I wish I could. It’s almost like, you know, like. When you feel like you see a ghost or something, or you have a dream where you can’t remember exactly all of the things that happened, you just know that it happened and it was there.

And like, you know, something spooky kind of happens. It was like the shift, it was a shift in me, but it happened after going through so much with you. Yeah. Well, I mean, that’s how you know it’s real. It’s kind of, it’s counterintuitive is that if you were, if you were wildly articulate about this thing, you know, it, it, you know, it’s more brain focused as a, a real shift in who you’re being, you know, and that’s where the gold is.

You know, I kind of expect that there’s going to be this lightning bolt moment, a camel runs across five lanes of traffic, and you know, like all these, all these signs or something. But it’s something that you have to feel. And you did it. Yeah. I wish I could figure out how to verbalize that, but yeah.

You’re right. Wow. Wow. So talk to us. I mean, okay. So, and at this point, you guys were trying naturally, you had decided that you wanted to be, to do this with, you know, the minimally invasive, um, you know, trying to do things as, as natural as possible. Um, Did anything happen for you? Well, yes.

Um, it’s so funny because So my a little bit of backstory my when we started trying not long after my husband actually ended up like Living in another state for work. So he was commuting home So, you know there there were we had some we didn’t have like a normal time together, you know and when we did the iui it was You know, when he would come home on the weekends and it inhibited every like everything was just like a little more difficult Because he wasn’t living here full time But when I sort of decided not to keep doing that and I knew I didn’t really want to go the IVF route At least at that point.

I didn’t I hadn’t found a doctor though that I was like Totally happy with so maybe if I had or if I’d gotten to a different place I think it’s a great option for people. I just wasn’t there with it. So I you know knew I had to do other things and What went the natural route and then? We had been trying for you know, another probably year plus without success I started the program in December of last year And I think I finished it in February, right?

Yeah, February. Um, we had a trip scheduled to go see family in Colorado, right? Literally right, like the week everything shut down for, um, you know, pandemic. And we decided to stay here and that happened to be the weekend we got pregnant. So wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. So you’d been trying for years.

Yeah, IUI, so almost three years. Yeah, IUI didn’t work out. You’re doing all these, but you’re still supporting yourself with all these amazing, um, natural supports. You start working on this and within weeks of finishing your pregnancy.

That is correct. Wow. Can I tell you, okay, so this is my, and I don’t know if I emailed you this or not, but like, I’d gone to get some pregnancy. I mean, I had the, like the strip pregnancy test, which I’d taken multiple times, but I’d gone to get some, like, um, I did natural tea. I got it at target. It was like, you know, fertility tea and like, you know, I wanted to have that.

And I was trying some other things just, you know, on a natural basis. So I bought this a while, I think this is before we ever started the program. And I bought a pack of like digital. Pregnancy tests. And for whatever reason, I was, I was checking out and there was this really sweet woman that was helping me.

And she looks at me and she goes, well, what are you hoping for? And I was like, a baby.

She was like, well, you got to come back and tell me if it’s a boy or a girl. And I was like, okay. And for whatever reason, I was like, I cannot take these pregnancy tests until I am pregnant in my brain. You know? So I like kind of put it away and I had it in my drawer and I always use the other strips and all this stuff because I just didn’t want to waste them.

Cause every time it was negative and when we didn’t go to Colorado and I had stopped tracking and I didn’t get my period and I kind of hadn’t thought about it. And I like, just was like, my, my cycle was not regular. So, you know, sometimes I had like a 32 day cycle and then it was 28 days. And then it was 38 days.

I mean, it was always kind of sporadic. So I was like, well, I’m going to wait another week before I take it for, you know, pregnancy in my brain, I’m like, I want to wait until I’m like a full week late and, um, or, you know, past the, like the latest cycle I’d gone. And it’s really hard to do that. I bet. So I’m sitting at the table and my husband can read me really well and he was like, what is going on?

And I’m like, I haven’t gotten my period and I just don’t want to take this test, but like I want to take it. He’s like, well, just like go into it thinking it’s going to be negative. I know this is probably everything, the antithesis of everything you would say, but he’s like, so you don’t, you’re not disappointed.

And then it’s no big deal. And I was like, just get out of the way. So you’re not like perseverating on it for the next week and you know, like losing a week your life. So I was like thinking about it and I didn’t tell him and I just like decided to go into the bathroom and I opened the drawer and I saw those pregnancy texts and I was like, I’m just going to do it.

I want to take that practice. I don’t know what it was. I don’t know why I pulled him out, but I did and I put it down and I looked back at it and it was positive and I was like, Oh my God. Oh my God. You know, I just like completely freaked out because one, I was pregnant, but two, I had used that test that that woman who had given me all that good juju, I guess, when I was checking out had sent me and it was positive.

And I like still have them in my drawer that I open every day. And I look at them because there was a special digital ones, right? Like, yes, it’s like the, the one that’s like, it’s like two digitals. And then one that’s Well, two, you know, positive negatives and then one that says pregnant or not pregnant.

That one actually stayed. It doesn’t keep the pregnant, but the positives are still there. And well, and when I came out after taking the first one, my husband, I told, I like showed it to him and he was like, okay, let’s not get overly excited. Like, like we’re not, you know, let’s take another one. And so took the other two, you know, and I texted my doctor immediately.

And I was like, so I took positive test and the positive. And should I come in and get checked? She’s like. Those things are pretty reliable. You’re pregnant. We’ll get you, we’ll get you in. And I was like, oh my god. So it was, it was just thrilling. It was like perfect timing. Everything I needed. Yeah, I felt like I did really hard work to get to that point.

Like it was so well deserved. And I can say that with confidence. I’m like, you know, you did woman on every call you were, you were there, you were playing big, always smiling, always, you know, you did it and you know what. I mean, and you did it naturally. You did it on your terms. Oh, and by the way, how many years young are you?

Um, I’m 41. Are you in your forties? You got pregnant naturally. You made a decision to shift things and you did. Yeah. Um, I just hope that you never, ever, ever forget what a CEO you are. I, I have your, your voice in my head for all time. Yes. Well, on top of that, okay. This is massive for other women listening to hear this.

Yeah. You had irregular cycles. So all of this. Fracking all of this insanity that we torture ourselves with. And I did this too. You know, if I had a cycle that was off, I mean, I, I was just, I would lose my mind, but you demonstrated that you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be certain within yourself.

This baby’s coming and yes, and I will tell you that my doctor, I love her so much. She’s amazing. But it’s always very real with me too. And she’s like, you are not getting younger like you are. Your eggs do get old older as you get older. That’s okay. You know, like we you just keep going. But like I was always very like new in my brain that like it’s gonna you just it just takes one.

You know, like you just need one good, you might not get it, you know, like the first time you try, you might take you seven years, but there is going to be a good one. So all those weird, I mean, my levels were low. I had like, you know, normal to low Bavarian reserve and like, you can hear that and it can, you know, be detrimental to you, but really like that doesn’t meet, she would always say it doesn’t mean anything.

It’s just, it might be a little bit longer. Um, but the reality is like. That’s just what happens to our bodies, but that should not be a deterrent to not do it. And my girlfriend, you know, I, uh, she went to see this doctor and he told her something and I was just like, you need to get a second opinion. Like you need to have somebody that believes in you that tells you, you know, you can have them be very real with you, but also be really like supportive of you at the same time.

Well, yeah, supportive does not necessarily, does not have to mean a pie in the sky bullshit. It just means that there’s, here’s some information, but that’s just one piece of it. There’s so much more, there’s a constellation of things that come together to, to help bring this about. So my love, what would you tell?

The women listening, like if you, I mean, this is your opportunity now to be like, okay, like this is what y’all need to know, like from, you know, cause you’re, and how far along are you, by the way? Um, I will be 26 weeks tomorrow. No, just at the end of my second trimester. I love it. I mean, just think about it.

I mean, think about where you were when you started this year. And think about where you are now. Look at how It’s wild. Look at how quickly you change things for yourself. Can I, can I say one more thing on that end too? What? Because when I was reading, I was looking back and reading what I had written, you know?

And I was so confident. So I had always, I kept saying, I go, when I was in my, like, late 30s, I was like, I don’t want to have a baby at 40. I want to have a baby at 40. I want to have a baby, you know, by 39. And I got into 2020. The beginning of the year and when I, you know, started writing down things with you with the program, I had written, you know, like, I’m going to have this baby in 2020 and like talking about it very proactively and I, you know, I didn’t have a baby at 40.

I’m having a baby at 41 and that’s okay. And I had, like, I had to reconcile that, but being, like, okay with it.

You had to be okay with being off by a few days, right? Yes! Yes! You can’t be right about everything. Yeah. I mean, isn’t it insane that, you know, we make these arbitrary timelines. They’re entirely arbitrary. Yes. Yes. Totally. But that was a block. I was unknowingly putting that on myself. You know that I wasn’t gonna have a baby at 40 and I didn’t you know because I told myself I wasn’t going to I told myself I was going to have a baby this year and I mean we’re sliding it in there You know, I’m doing December so But you know, I had to do the work and I had to open up my mind but um, okay so advice to To other women, you know the smartest people I Have heard from and that I surround myself with are the people that say, you know You got to surround yourself with other people that are smarter than you Um because you learn the most from them and I think like for me it was really doing that It was surrounding myself with these people that had more knowledge and understanding but in a way that like It was able, I was able to digest it too.

You know, I needed people that were on my team that were supportive of me without bullshitting you. And I had to allow myself to change my mindset, learn to let go and, and you know, it’s so hard to do that the older we get too, because we get so set in our ways and like, I don’t believe this. And I don’t, you know, like I have just opened my mind to so many more things just in life too.

Yeah. You know, the possibilities, I guess, of life, um, because that allowed me to be open to receive and I feel like that sounds like so culty and I don’t mean it to sound like that because I’m not, I’m like not, you know, like come like join my thing. I’ve just, I needed to figure out how to like let go for myself and In order to do that, I needed to surround myself with people that knew more than I did in a very natural way.

That’s not culty at all. It’s just a fact. Conceiving is all about receiving. And if you block the thing that you want with the kind of thoughts and beliefs and patterns that are going to inherently, because of the nature of those thoughts. This isn’t superstition. Thoughts, beliefs, actions, results. It’s logical.

If you’re telling yourself you cannot have a baby at 40, you won’t. Your body’s listening. This isn’t magic. It isn’t superstition. It is a fact. Yep. Because you won’t make the choices, you won’t do the things, you won’t get the help that you need. You are literally blocking your miracle. Yeah. And you, Maren, with you and that shit.

You’re so much more articulate. You’re You get to do whatever it is that you do, all that matters coming through is, is your feeling. And you know, frankly, I think you make a really good point that as we get older, it’s harder to change, but we, we need it even more. Totally. That’s when we. Absolutely. Yeah.

Is when when you caught up in that story when I really want something, you know, I have to put my mind to it. Like, you know, that that’s a saying, right? Like when you really want something, I’ll put your mind to it. It is no bullshit. Like if you really want something, you put your mind to it. It can happen.

You just have to actually believe it. And if you don’t believe, you could say, I’m going to put my mind to it, but if you don’t believe it, it’s not going to happen. So really allowing yourself to believe. And I think in order to learn how to believe, you have to, like, you have to be open if you’re not open, you know?

And, and listen, I’m not saying I’m perfect either. Like terrible things have happened. You know, it can happen in between. And like, you can have a miscarriage and you can have, you know, it. Things can deter you, but it shouldn’t stop you and it shouldn’t, you know, I, I hope that it’s more helpful than anything to know that, okay, you know, this isn’t your body betraying you.

It’s just a, roadblock and you gotta, you know, go around it and keep going. Right. And you’ll know when it’s, you know, like, I feel like they’re, like you say, you know, there’s like things that come to you at the right time and you’re guided in a way that needs to work for you and to listen, like being open is also about recognizing that and like listening to it and actually like, you know.

Right. Allowing that to help you. Right. Well, and you’re, you’re demonstrating to everybody, you know, in, you know, in conclusion that you cannot outperform your self image. And what I mean by that is you had to see yourself. As someone who is in charge, you had to see yourself as someone who was, someone who’s powerful enough to let go, who’s, who gets a team together of people who believe in her.

And you had to become that woman that worked around a husband who’s traveling. And doing this, like you really had to get it together in, in the deepest possible way that I can have all of this. I can, I can do these things and you became that and that’s what you’ve created in your life. Bravo, Maren.

Bravo. And I’m so honored that you came on to share your story with us because it’s just, it’s such a delight. There’s nothing that makes me happier for you. Like when I got, when you sent me that email, I was like literally shit to bricks. And I was like, Oh my God, I’m so excited for her because you so deserved it.

You put in the work, you, you stuck it out and, and now you’re going to be able to teach your children. You’re literally changing your family tree woman because you’re going to be able to teach this to your children. You’re going to be able to teach them how to make a fucking decision, how to believe in their hell yes and hell no, and to trust their hearts and allow their circumstances to dictate what they believe.

So yeah, yeah. Wow, just, I just hope if anyone’s listening to this, you know, and you’re waffling or you’re wondering, I am not like a, like a sucker when it comes to, you know, like, yes, when it comes to buying stuff, like I’ve got sucker literally written over my head if I’m in Target, but you know, when it comes to making decisions about my life, I really do try and like, You know way way things like this was so You meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened to me And I hope this early in the morning I just hope if somebody’s waffling that they take the leap because it was so Impactful for me and I am not an easy person to have that happen to especially when it comes to like the group Situation thing, you know like and it was just like eye opening and amazing and I hope that You know, I hope that somebody gets something out of this, you know, we’re all about getting shit done.

Um, and boy, did you boy, I love you for having me. Well, thank you, my darling. Hey loves wasn’t my conversation with Marin just mind blowing from irregular cycles, three years of trying to conceive grief, failed treatments, low ovarian reserve to being a woman that’s having her baby in December of this year.

Yeah. It is so insane. What is possible for you when you have that shift, when you turn that corner with what you think and believe, it’s like supercharging all of the great things you are already doing for your body, mind and body work together, baby. And if you want to learn what I taught Marin, this is your chance.

Thoughts, beliefs. Actions. Results. It’s logical and linear. You can’t get around it. You cannot outperform your self image. And if you are looking at yourself as a loser, too old, too many failures, can’t have what you want, asking for too much, or whatever bullshit is distracting you from the fact that the desire in your heart to be a mom was meant for you, you gotta change it up, baby.

Think about what Maren shared, my loves. At the beginning of this year, her baby was nowhere in sight and she’d been trying for three years. She’s going to finish this year with a brand new baby in her arms. You just never know what you can create when you change what you think and believe. Where could you be 12 months from now?

My darling, it’s up to you. My fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body. I work with women who are committed to success, just like Merritt. To apply for your interview for this revolutionary program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview with me there.

My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success.

Until next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.