EP11: Fearless Q&A: Feeling Low? Here’s What To Do.

Plucked straight from the Fearlessly Fertile Community, is a question from Deirdre in Ireland about how to pick yourself up and dust yourself off when you feel down…particularly if your period makes an unwelcome appearance. It’s good sh*t.

Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.

I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, Episode 11.

I am so jazzed to be here with you this week because we’re going to be doing something a little different. Back when I started this podcast, I had reached out to my global community of Fearlessly Fertile women and asked them what were the questions that they most wanted me to address about living the fertility journey in a way that’s going to support you.

So this week we have selected one of the questions that came through and I got to tell you, my ladies are so thoughtful, smart, amazingly creative, and badass as shit that I really think that taking the time to speak directly to what’s truly on women’s minds as they live this journey is going to be a real game changer.

So, let’s start with this first question. And this comes from Deirdre in Ireland. Hi, Roseanne. What I’d love to ask is how do you get yourself back on track when your hopes are starting to fade? I have no real reason to feel this way other than another period has come along and I’m really finding it difficult to lift myself out of a low mood.

I usually spring back, dust myself off, and get back on track. But this time it feels like a light has gone out and something has slipped away. Thanks so much, Deirdre. Thank you so much for such a smart and heartfelt question, Deirdre. So I’m going to start out with this. Now this may sound a little bit like a semantics game, but because I love you and I want you to be successful and you have an opportunity here and now to save yourself years of misery.

I’m going to zero in on this first point. In your question, you use the word hope. You’re losing hope. Well, here’s what you’ve got to know. Hope on this journey isn’t enough. As Oprah so famously stated, you don’t get what you hope for. You don’t get what you wish for. You get what you believe. And that absolutely counts on this journey.

It absolutely applies because Look, every single day we have an opportunity to make choices about the things we do or don’t do on this journey. The support that we get, the tests that we, we have done, the treatments and interventions that we consider and then end up doing. All of our actions directly are influenced by what we think and believe, and hope is.

When you think about it, hope is kind of like, yeah, well, you know, I hope it, I hope it happens. It’s possible. It won’t Hope is equivocal. You’ve got to make the decision here and now that you decide. to be a mother. You cannot afford to hope to be a mom. You’ve got to take a step back and really look at what you believe.

Is being a mom a nice to have for you, my darling, or have you decided that being a mom, you feel that in your soul? You know that you feel that in your soul. You know that it’s part of your life purpose and you are not going to take a dirt nap without having become a mom. Think about that. Think about how definitive that is, and think about, you know, when you approach your journey from a place of, Look, this was meant for me.

I am meant to be a mother. Think about the kinds of decisions and the kinds of actions you are going to take in furtherance of that, as opposed to saying, Well, you know, I hope it happens. When you’ve made a decision, and when you get beyond hoping and wishing on this journey, and you get down to the business of believing, you are going to start to see changes in the way that you show up to this journey.

Now, that’s not to say that you’re doing anything wrong, my love. I think you’re doing fantastic. But we can always push ourselves that much more. Because if you’re serious about being a mom, you can’t afford to have one foot out the door. You can’t be running around saying, hell, maybe, hell, maybe I’m going to be a mom.

You’ve got to be firmly rooted in your hell. Yes. And for every woman on this journey, hurry, hell yes, is going to be different, but you got to have it. And frankly, when you look at women who have overcome. Incredible odds. You know, so many of my clients around the world have beaten insane odds. Single digit percentages of becoming a mom.

And they get pregnant naturally. They finally have success with their treatments. That is what’s possible when you bring the mindset piece. When you know that you are not leaving any stone unturned and you’re certainly not letting your mindset be the weak link. That’s what’s possible. So that’s the first place I would start with you, my darling, dear tree.

Hope is not enough. Really take a look. What is it that you believe? Now a second aspect of your question, you had said that the condition precedent or the thing that got you to feel down was your period had come. You were, you noticed that you were having another period. So here’s a really simple and powerful question.

When you notice that something in your experience or something that is happening is, is causing you to feel a certain way, it’s this, what am I making this mean? So, that question is simply empowering you to take a look at any given situation that you suspect might be the thing that’s causing you to feel low.

And you’re asking yourself, what am I making this mean? What meaning are you attributing in this particular circumstance to your period? And getting the hang of this question and really disciplining yourself to ask this question is a truly clutch move in taking control of what you think and believe on this journey.

Because we alone attribute meaning to whatever comes up in our lives. So for example, if we look at your period. It’s just a period, right? If we look at it, we, we eliminate any meaning whatsoever. It’s just a period. And having periods, well, that’s what women do. That’s what we are capable of doing. And it’s something that can happen, right?

In your experience as a woman. But it’s the next step where this question, what am I making it mean? You can really see how it works because If you make your period mean that you’re a loser, that you’re a failure, that you’ll never be a mom, well, that has a very different meaning than, well, this is just what women do, okay?

And you might say to yourself, well, Rosanna, I mean, come on, I’m on this journey. Just saying this is what happens, you know, that’s too much of a vacuum. Okay, fine. So let’s address that. So, If you find yourself in a situation, my darling, where you are giving this simple fact of you having a period a negative meaning, meaning that, you know, and I made that up, you’re not calling yourself a loser, I don’t know that, but I’m guessing that it’s something negative.

I don’t think that’s too far off, uh, based on your question, but run with me on this. If you find yourself in that situation where you are attributing what can be called a negative meaning to something, Your next move is to say, well, is that the only meaning? Is that the only thing this means? Is this, is this the sum total of what my period can mean?

Is that I am failing, I’m never gonna be a mom, and, you know, I have no reason to believe that, you know, my dream of being a mom is gonna come true. Is that really the only meaning? Or could it mean something else? For example, oh, well, I got my period, you know, that, uh, it’s not what I was wanting, but okay.

Me at least getting my period means that I have another shot at another cycle. I hope this underscores how powerful you are, Deidre, because there’s really no right or wrong way to do this. You alone are the one that gets to decide what anything means in your life. You just want to choose wisely. Because as a woman who is absolutely committed to being a mom, you’ve always got to be asking, you know, Am I covering my bases?

Am I approaching this journey in a way that’s going to be setting me up for success? And the foundation of that is what you think and believe, because from what you think and believe come your actions and from your actions come your results, my love. So I hope that is helpful and let this chance to rediscover how powerful you are, get that light within you to shine so bright.

My love, you were meant to be a mom. This world needs you to be a mom. You’ve got so much love to give. So don’t you dare give up. If you want to learn more about me, my coaching practice, my online courses that are changing the lives of women across the globe, or read my amazing client success stories, check me out at www. FromMayBetoBaby.com or see what I’m up to on Instagram at RoseanneAustinFertility. Till next time! Change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.