EP15: When Change Is Hard, Do This.

Learn why change can be so hard, what to do about it, and the simple question you can use in the face of it, to help secure a new level of success on your fertility journey.

Hey Gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the. Odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, bad assery, and loads of hell Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 15. When change is hard, do this. Love, it feels really good to be with you again this week. The past couple weeks have been crazy for me. Between my retreat and finishing up the edits on my book, along with loving on my clients, this chick’s plate is full.

It’s all good, though. It’s the process I signed up for when I made the decision to live my purpose Live my calling, and take responsibility for what I see as my ministry. It feels so good to say that, and still a little weird at the same time. If you and I were talking 10 years ago, I’m certain you probably wouldn’t have heard words like that come out of my mouth.

purpose, calling, and definitely not ministry. In those days, it was just about grinding. I loved my work as a prosecutor. It was a fantastic part of my evolution, but it was nothing compared to the passionate soul based work that I do today. It’s funny to think that the woman I was back then got here. Book, retreats, clients all over the world, freedom, and the family I wanted so dearly.

I’m going to let you in on one of the not so secret ingredients to getting me from where I was to where I am today. Change. I had to get really smart about the way I approached change. And change is what we’re going to talk about this week. It’s inevitable, wildly uncomfortable, at times terrifying, hard, and pure gold, baby.

Success on this journey literally requires that you get good at change. What’s funny is that, if you ask most people, they’d probably tell you they’re fairly decent at change. But there’s something about this journey that can really turn change on its ear, especially how we look at it. But let’s start by talking about what makes change so hard.

It comes down to something quite simple. It pushes us out of our comfort zone. It takes us out of the easy, breezy, predictable state that we’re normally in. It takes us into a place of uncertainty, and our brains Hate that shit. Our lizard brain, the part of our brain that specializes in scaring us to try to keep us safe, goes fucking crazy when we are faced with changing circumstances.

It freaks us out, and we start grasping for anything that seems familiar so we can try to predict the outcome and therefore stay safe. While all of that makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint, Today, it keeps us trapped repeating old patterns just because they’re comfortable, even if they suck. We are literally wired to stay comfortable.

As far as our brains are concerned, discomfort equals bad, and I bet you see that pattern in yourself and people all around you, plain as day. Think about it. How many times have you heard someone say that they’re going to go on a diet and lose weight, yet you see them the very next day eating like they were on death row?

How many times have you told yourself that you’re not going to let negativity and fear dominate your journey, yet you go right back into a pain spiral when you see a pregnant woman or get a baby shower invitation? Can I get an amen? Now, that’s not happening because you’re stupid or lame. It’s just simply the way we are wired is to stick with what we know, stay with what’s comfortable.

And frankly, you might not even know that that’s actually what’s happening here. But the reality is, is that’s exactly what’s happening. And what’s interesting is that our brains have become wildly adept at giving us a parade of excuses that justify us staying in the comfort zone Even if it sucks. These excuses make sense on the outside, but upon closer inspection, you can readily identify how they are engineered to keep us within the safe confines of what we know, so we don’t feel that pain or discomfort.

And just in case you might be telling yourself, Rosanna, I don’t make any excuses. Let me share some of the biggest excuse doozies that are running around out there like cockroaches. Here we go. That’s too expensive. I can’t do that. I have to talk to my husband first. And just as a side note, that is total and complete bullshit.

You are a grown ass woman with a job. If you want something, sister, go get it. It’s one thing to let your partner know that you are doing something. It’s another to ask for their permission. Remember, they are your partner, not your parent. Okay, now I’m gonna get off my soapbox and get back to the list.

Okay, so the next biggest excuse that we say is, oh, what would my friends say? What if my doctor says no? It’s too late for me, so I’m not going to bother trying. Okay, so those are some of the excuses that we make. Do you recognize any of them? That list could go on and on, but you get the point. Our lizard brain is literally working against us when what we want is on the other side of change.

It will throw up as many roadblocks as it can to try to slow us down, pump the brakes, and get us to stay in the safe zone instead of allowing us to creep over to the edge of our comfort zone, get uncomfortable, and get the prize waiting on the other side. Here’s the good news, though. That’s not our whole brain.

The comfort zone isn’t all our brain is capable of. There’s way more in there. We can thank this primitive part of our brain for keeping us out of dark alleys and steering us clear and away from half priced day old sushi, but when it comes to making our dreams come true and really going for it when it comes to the things that really matter to us, We have to rely on something more than our lizard brain.

We need more to stay out of mediocrity. The best thing ever is that you have the capacity right here and right now to do exactly that. And it’s all about conditioning yourself and the way that you think. Because the smartest thing you can do when it comes to change is make peace with the discomfort.

Expect that discomfort is just the price of doing business. You know that your brain is going to tell you to run in the opposite direction. But when you condition yourself to stand up And ask for the thing that you want, even when it looks like it’s not even anywhere in sight, you give yourself the leg up, and you literally break the chain of mediocrity that your lizard brain can threaten to keep you in.

And here’s a key question that you want to ask. Is staying in my comfort zone going to get me what I want? Is staying in my comfort zone going to get me what I want? And love, I gotta tell ya, if it hasn’t yet, chances are it won’t. By asking that question, you can actually discover some pleasure in the discomfort of change.

Think about it. Getting uncomfortable and making changes is most likely to bring you one step closer to what you want. Think about it, if what you’ve been doing up to this point isn’t getting you a result, particularly the result you want, you’re gonna have to make a change, right? So why not look forward to it?

Why not get a little giddy about it? It’s actually pretty awesome when you think about it. And it’s really a way that you can condition yourself to associate pleasure with the discomfort that comes along with change. It’s really powerful. We literally get to program what we think and believe about change.

There are no saber toothed tigers running the streets, mama. Most of the shit we scare ourselves with is made up. And remember what I’ve been teaching you throughout this podcast. Your thoughts fuel your actions. Your actions lead to your results. This equation is simple and predictable. It applies to everything in your life, including your fertility journey.

So if you want different results, you must do different things and that by necessity equals change. So let’s go back to that question. Is staying in my comfort zone going to get me what I want? A little bit of side note here. For some people, the desire for security, predictability, and safety is so strong that they will choose to stay in their comfort zone, even if it costs them the life they truly want.

The discomfort of change is just too great, so they’ll walk away from their dreams and watch other people live them on the sidelines. You’ve got to own this piece. Okay? If that’s you, own it. More power to you, but you’ve got to be honest about it. People love to hide behind their own excuses, blaming the world around them, doctors, money, or someone who did them wrong on this journey for their misery.

But when you understand that you have a choice, You can see that you are no victim. Owning that safety and predictability is more important to you than your bigger dreams lying on the other side of change is way more empowering than pretending like you don’t have a choice. I fully get, having lived this journey myself, change isn’t easy.

But this is why having a coach and getting mentorship to see beyond the confines of your comfort zone is so important. I am eternally grateful to the coaches and mentors that helped me see beyond the walls I had built around myself. They helped me get the results I wanted faster and smarter than I could have ever done on my own.

Here’s one thing I know for sure. If I hadn’t done the work and learned how to get smart about change, there’s no question. I would still be a deputy district attorney, and I’m damn sure I would not have had my son, Asher. When we take control of what we think and believe about change, we make the seemingly impossible possible.

You gotta get smart about change, love, even incremental change. You know, think about it, when you’re on a flight, and the pilot just makes a minute change in the trajectory of the plane, it can equal miles of change in course down the road. So that’s why change is so important, and really conditioning yourself to get used to the discomfort is so critical.

Even the tiniest change that you can make today on your journey can spell success down the road. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, baby. So let me give you an exercise to help you down the road as you start to think about change. Get honest about how you approach change. Do you run from it? Do you make excuses to avoid it?

Are there patterns you are repeating on your fertility journey because you are afraid of it? And continuously ask yourself, is staying in your comfort zone going to get you what you want? Let that question be in your back pocket, my love. And if you’re ready to get out of your own way on this journey so you can set yourself up for outrageous fertility success, Let’s have a chat.

Access to private coaching with me will be changing rather dramatically. So if you wanted a chance to coach with me one on one, the time to do it is now. Go to my website www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for a breakthrough session there. It is my purpose, calling, and ministry to help women make their mama dreams come true.

Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.


Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.