EP25: A Loving Kick In the Pants

Caught up in a rut of self-pity and thinking other people just get “lucky,” on this journey? I’ve got a loving kick in the pants for you that will help you get out of that low vibe rut. The prosecutor in me came out in this episode, so it’s not for the faint of heart. It’s a dose of tough love, because I love you!

Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 25. The kick in the pants you just might need. Hey, my darling! Love, in the past couple weeks, I’ve been sharing some special extra large episodes of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast featuring incredibly inspiring stories of just a few of my ladies.

This week, I want to get down to some brass tacks with you on a topic that undoubtedly comes up. in the face of inspiring stories. It’s tough love time, baby. I repeat, tough love. I am sharing what I’m sharing today because I love ya. I am getting tough on you this week because I give a shit and my instincts were kicking in that it might be time for the old prosecutor in me to come out and bring some thunder.

This is the kind of shit I wish someone had said to me on my journey. I didn’t have a fertility journey big sister, so let me be yours right now. And just let me say this, if you are cool with being in a place of self pity or feeling bad, that’s perfectly fine. You have the divine right to be miserable.

But if you want better, sister, keep listening. My darling, I know what you’re thinking. Because I was you. Yes, my circumstances may have been a little different, but I get how women think on this journey. So if you feel like I’m calling you out in this episode, let there be no shame in your game, baby. I get it.

I used to think this way. That’s why I can speak to it with Mad authority, okay? So, let’s go there. As inspirational as the stories you have heard, all of the things that my gorgeous ladies who have beaten the odds on this journey have been sharing with you over the extra large episodes, and how you’ve been presented with living proof that what I am teaching you works, undoubtedly there is part of you saying, but they are different.

That will never be me. They must be smarter and more deserving. Bullshit. I’m going to love you enough right here and right now to tell you that’s total fucking bullshit and thinking like that is a total cop out. It’s a betrayal of all that you are and it is the worst kind of blasphemy to the higher power that created you.

Here’s why holding yourself out to be less than or less deserving than other people on this journey is a cop out. It’s lazy. It’s a way of you hiding, and it’s an excuse. When you live by the belief that you are less than, or that other people are more deserving than you, you chicken out from standing up for what you desire.

You chicken out for having to be the woman who believes when other people think she’s crazy. You chicken out from living your journey by your rules. You chicken out! You capitulate. You back down. Gross, isn’t it? The other thing that I bet you haven’t thought of is, by saying that other people are just smarter or more deserving, you completely shit all over their hard work and make it seem like they didn’t earn it.

How the fuck can you possibly say that? You will never know what other women Actually went through on their journey, no matter what they tell you. It is way harder than most women make it look. So give them the respect. To call them lucky is bullshit. It’s dismissive. Calling in your miracle on this journey has nothing to do with luck.

To say it’s luck diminishes its value. Think about what it takes to keep putting one foot in front of the other in the face of mounting disappointments. It’s gangster shit. How the fuck can you denigrate that with calling it luck, my darling? When I think about everything my ladies and I had to learn, the discipline and the commitment we’ve all shown, and everything that goes into being Miracle Moms, I think to myself, how dare anyone call that luck or just us being more deserving?

No, bitch, we worked for this. And love, just know, this is me. Speaking directly to that inner mean girl that might be going absolutely crazy within you right now. My sights are set on putting her in her place right now. Because she, and allowing her fear, doubt, negativity to run your show on this journey.

She will keep you at arm’s length from your miracle, and I want better for you. Back to the matter at hand. As to the part about us being smarter, women that have manifested miracles on this journey, women who take control of what they think and believe, as to us being smarter? Well, with that part I would agree, because we’ve learned to take control of our thoughts and beliefs, and therefore we have the unstoppable power of bringing all of ourselves, mind and body to this journey.

And it’s no wonder we stand in the winner’s circle. We didn’t just wait around for medicine to save us. We took responsibility, covered our bases, and made the decision we aren’t leaving without our babies. Take that, inner mean girl! Now, my darling, this is available to you as well. You have this in you.

You have the ability to think and believe this. You’ve just got to take control back from that inner mean girl, or saboteur, the thing that keeps you smaller, the thing that keeps you believing that other people are just lucky, smarter, or more deserving. Remember, that is complete and utter bullshit. I want you to understand that your desire to be a mom, it fucking matters.

It’s worth investing 100 percent of yourself in. This is your dream. You’ve got to decide that you are just as worthy as anyone else, and that, as scary as it is, you are in this to win this. Both feet in, baby. Both feet in. And look, you don’t have to be perfect. You are deserving now. I’m willing to bet that any woman who has beaten the odds on this journey will tell you she is not perfect.

The reality is, is we’re all beautifully fucked up. It’s what makes life interesting. You don’t have to be perfect to find your way to motherhood. But you do have to keep putting yourself in the game. When you hold other people out to be more than you, you sideline yourself. You set yourself up for self sabotage because if you don’t believe to your core that you can have this, you will block it.

The choices you make will reflect your deepest held beliefs, and you cannot run that fact. So if you don’t believe you’re worth it, your choices and actions will demonstrate that. How can you possibly expect to get the results you want with that garbage as your setup? Another thing, my darling. If you open up your social media feed and find yourself cringing, here’s something I want to toss your way, because it is relevant here.

Other people’s wins on this journey have nothing to do with you or your prospects. There’s no limit on the number of babies that can come into the world. There is one out there for you. If a miracle mama who faced shitty circumstances can find hers, why the hell not you, my darl This is why I want to barf when I see women on social media tone down their joy and happiness over their miracle pregnancy with the idiotically dismissive preamble of quote unquote sensitive post.

Why? Why should a woman have to dim her light? She’s not responsible for making anyone feel bad. Why? She gets to put her joy on fucking blast. We as individuals are responsible for our own feelings. We choose how we feel. Why should some woman just wanting to share her joy have to take on the responsibility of other people’s feelings?

Yes, I am ranting. And I want you to see the learned helplessness that we perpetuate when we don’t take responsibility for how we feel. My darling, if you feel jealous when you hear about other people’s pregnancies, that’s your work, not theirs. Their pregnancy has nothing to do with you. There’s no finite number of babies and anything is possible.

You will find a way, okay? I get that the intention behind the sensitive post is good. But in the end, it infantilizes people. Miracle mamas have the right to their joy. If you are smart, you will learn to use that woman’s joy and that precious gift that she has received to catapult you forward and, even better, as proof that dreams do come true.

My darling, if this is getting under your skin, good. People who truly give a shit are not afraid of ruffling a few feathers. This is the exact shit you must shift if you want to live your journey like the powerhouse you were born to be. Now, let’s close out by talking about that powerhouse inside of you.

Think about everything you are, my darling. Think about the good you do in the world. Think about how hard you work, and the discipline you have exercised to get to the point where you are perf professionally and personally. It’s impressive as fuck! Think about what a good friend you are. Think about what a great daughter, wife, partner, co worker you are.

Everybody loves you! I know this because my ladies are lovably type A control freaky list makers who thoughtfully plan everything to a T and never let the people they love down. This is who you are, my darling. That’s how you show your love. Now I ask you to do the same for you. Do it for you. You are more than you will ever know.

You don’t always see what others see. Take it from me today. You are enough. You deserve to be a mom and you will find a way. Don’t you dare fucking hold anyone above you. You are worthy. You are enough. I’m saying that again on purpose. Your baby is coming. The timeline may be different than you planned, but your baby will come right on time, mama.

Right on time. Now that is some tough love, baby. Here’s an exercise to take what you learned to the next level. Take the tough love, my darling. We think we know everything, but we don’t. Sometimes we get into ruts that we just can’t see out of. My desire with this kick in the pants was to shake shit up for you so you can see the flaws in some of your thought processes cause I was there too!

And I want you to have a chance to see things in a whole new way. Sometimes the shift we need is seismic and that will be what helps us break out of our own bullshit. So I hope you take that screed with the love that it was given. Here are two things I want you to do in this exercise. One, take out a piece of paper and write out one of your aha moments from this screed.

Two, text the link to this podcast episode to someone you know needs to hear it. Someone who might be stuck in self pity, jealousy, or low vibe bullshit on this journey. She may need a loving kick in the pants, too, that will remind her that she matters and that she is more than the failure or disappointment she sees in front of her.

And my darling, if you are in a place today where you’re doing everything you can to get pregnant and you’re starting to worry that you might be getting in your own way, and more importantly, you’re ready to do something about it, let’s chat. My ladies are women who leave no stone unturned and they are unavailable for looking back on this journey with regret.

They learn how to think, believe, and take action like a woman who succeeds on this journey, and that is why they win. Enrollment in my all new Fearlessly Fertile Method program is open! This program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months. It’s some of the best work I’ve ever done, and I am extremely excited that it is out in the world.

To apply for your interview to be part of this revolutionary program, Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for a breakthrough session there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. And this could be the missing piece for you, my darling. Till next time, change your mindset.

Change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.