EP3: Freaked out by past “failures?” Do this instead

Learn about a game-changing mindset shift that can change the way you see “failure” forever.  Discover a powerfully positive clutch move for using disappointment to your strategic advantage.

Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.

I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, Episode 3.

Freaked out by failures? Do this instead. Love, I have got to tell you that I am absolutely giddy with delight right now. The reason is my ladies. They are on fire. Nine pregnancy announcements in the past seven weeks. Woo! I am sharing this with you because it’s awesome as fuck and there’s something in it for you.

Let’s up level your attitude about failure, not from a bullshit, goody two shoes perspective, but from the steely eyed perspective of a woman on a mission. You know what you want. You aren’t leaving without your baby. To that end, my darling, I’m going to share a simple yet powerful mindset shift that came up during my best year ever workshop earlier this year.

And it’s a principle my ladies live by. Okay? Get something to write with, get your journal out, whatever it takes, because you’re going to want to write this down. And it’s simple yet profound and is an absolute game changer for your fertility journey. And it’s this. In the pursuit of that which you desire, expect more no’s than yes’s.

Put it another way, expect more failures than victories. And look, expecting failure or expecting to hear no’s, that’s actually not negative. If approached wisely, it’s actually an affirmation of your power. And here’s what I mean when I say approach it wisely. When you expect failure or when you expect to hear no’s from a place of commitment to your success or commitment to hearing yes.

The no’s and failures along the way have zero power over you. They’re simply part of the equation, that’s all. Looking at it from another way, it’s almost like failing or hearing no, it’s just the price of doing business when you’re on the road to making your dreams a reality. Instead of letting failure or the occasional no crush you, cause you to doubt everything you stand for, or make you wear a dunce cap for the rest of your life, embrace that bitch!

Treat failure like an old friend, because when you do, you empower yourself to keep taking the shot. Literally, if you’re doing IVF, or figuratively, and understand that when you miss, or when you mess up, or when you have failure, it’s merely an invitation to course correct. It’s nothing personal. It’s nothing shameful.

And here’s what you’ve got to understand. And look, it’s one of the biggest mindset shifts that you will ever make. It literally runs counter to most everything that we are taught and the way that we’re typically conditioned. And it’s just this. Each no brings you one step closer to yes. Each failure brings you one step closer to victory.

And this is so important because most of us, we just replay our failures, our shortcomings, and all of the crap that we go through on this journey. We just keep playing it over and over and over again. And we make past mistakes, past failures, past disappointments, somehow predictors of our future when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Really get this into your mind and into your heart. Each failure is simply a nudge in the right direction. It is an invitation to course correct. And look, I invite you to look at it this way. When failure shows up at your door, say, Hello, failure. I was expecting you. Victory? Well, she’s right on her way.

Would you like a glass of champagne while we wait? This is what I meant. I mean, think about how different a day on this journey would be if you treated failure and disappointment or hearing no from wherever it might be coming from on your journey. If you just said, okay, you know what? This is to be expected.

This is simply part of the process to me getting to where I want to be. Totally takes the pressure off, right? It’s a completely different approach to failure. And like, What are you going to be freaking out about if you know it’s just part of the deal? Think about how you might be able to actually breathe again on this journey and how much you can let yourself off the hook and be able to say, okay, this didn’t work out.

Yeah, it really sucks and it hurts, but the reality is, is every failure or every no that I hear is actually bringing me closer to yes. Wow, talk about changing everything on your journey. And look, this is something I had to do on my own journey. But most importantly, all of these ladies that I have helped all over the world, especially the ones who announced their pregnancies in the past seven weeks, heard so many devastating no’s.

They’ve faced repeated failures. They were looking at advanced maternal age, the dubious label of unexplained infertility. You know, courage in the face of quote unquote failure brought them to mama making victory. Each failure was a sparkling testament to their resolve. And here’s the truth. Most people don’t have the guts to stay in the game.

But you, mama, you aren’t most people. You are investing the time and effort to change what you think and believe, baby. You are on the road to becoming fearlessly fertile. And that is why you will win. And just as a side note, All of this comes down to giving yourself an opportunity to give our friend failure a makeover because failure is not final.

Your past failures, the past disappointments, they just need a makeover. There’s nothing about them that is a verdict for you on this journey unless you make them so, okay? My ladies make peace with failure. They understand it’s simply part of getting to revel. In Momma Making Victory, decide today that you will be one of them.

So, quick exercise for you, my darling. Let’s help you take your power back from failure. Okay? By now you know, expect some failures. They suck, they are painful, but they are not final unless you make them so. Failure or hearing no is just part of the deal when you commit to living a great life and commit to victory on this journey.

Expecting to move through life only getting green lights and never having any pain is lunacy and a recipe for mediocrity. It’ll keep you small. And that’s not what you want, love. You want a big, bold, beautiful life. Improve your relationship with failure. It’s positive as fuck, and it takes the pressure off.

Think about it. When you have enough no’s or enough failures, you can bet your ass, yes, Or, victory is right around the corner. No one’s life is all no’s or all failures. So bust out your journal and I want you to write a letter to no. Tell no or failure that you want to have a better relationship with them.

And watch how that conversation begins to unfold. And if you want to take it up another notch, set this intention for yourself. My failures demonstrate my commitment to succeed. Doesn’t that feel good? If you want to learn more about me, my coaching practice, or the online courses that are changing the lives of women all over the world on the fertility journey, go to www.FromMaybeToBaby.com.

All right, my darling, till next time, change your mindset, change your results, baby. Be fearless. Be fertile. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.

When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.