EP6: Struggling with “What Ifs?” Here’s how to deal.

What if you learned how to stop torturing yourself with “What Ifs?” Living your fertility journey at the mercy of What Ifs is miserable and may cause you to miss priceless opportunities. Learn how fearless with them!


Hey gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the. Odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, bad assery, and loads of hell Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode six. Struggling with What Ifs. Here’s How to Deal. Isn’t getting caught up in a what if spiral the fricking worst. As a former prosecutor with countless complex jury trials under my belt, it became part of my DNA to think 15 steps ahead of my opponent, anticipating and planning for what ifs, like a mofo.

While that made me an assassin in the courtroom, it left me writhing in agony of what if fing myself into abject terror on my fertility journey. And it went something like this. What if the doctor, distracted by a fight with his wife before my retrieval, misses some of my precious eggs? What if the heels I wear are causing my uterus to tilt in a weird way, sabotaging my embryo’s valiant efforts at implantation?

What if Dr. X was right? I should be eating venison. Where the fuck am I gonna get my hands on some venison? Is it even deer season? What if God is punishing me for wanting it all? Oh fuck, can I really have it all? Those what ifs barely scratch the surface of the masochism once exercised by my twisted, negativity, indulgent imagination.

I bet you have some real nasty grams of what ifs of your own, you dirty little bitch. The insane thing about what ifs is that they can render an otherwise deeply intelligent woman into a quivering mass of pathetic jelly. This shit is immobilizing and frankly one of the arch enemies of your success on this journey.

Unless, of course, you learn how to approach them correctly. All of this what if ing seems rational at the time. We what if ourselves into indecisive oblivion with generally good intentions. We want to narrow the margin of error. We want our babies to get here already. But, having defied the odds using the power of mindset and teaching other women around the world to do the same, it has become abundantly clear that most of us are going about the what if game all wrong.

I discovered that not only can you neutralize what ifs with a single response, you can actually use them to your advantage. Yes, use them to your advantage. It starts with you telling yourself the whole truth about your what ifs. They have an undeniably negative bias. They are intellectually dishonest, ignoring an equally possible positive outcome.

They presume powerlessness on your part. Total and complete gross victim y bullshit. Quit worshipping at the altar of negative what ifs. It’s boring and covered with spiders. Gross. If you are trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat on this journey, you can’t afford to waste a second of your precious time or energy with any of that go nowhere bullshit.

Your new approach, if you wish to accept it, is simple. Here’s how you are going to respond to the question, what if And you fill in the blank. What if blank? Okay? You kinda get the picture? So here’s how you’re gonna respond. What if blank? Your answer? I will find a way. What if blank? I will find a way.

Simple. True. Empowering as fuck. Feel free to be rude and intolerant with your what ifs. They’re like a self righteous asshole going 55 miles an hour in the fast lane. Let me repeat those oh so powerful words that will absolutely slay any what if that comes your way. I will find a way. This is all about you putting faith in you.

It’s about trusting the desire in your heart to be a mom. Not the fucking fear that will block your success. Now, we’re going to engage in some three dimensional chess, well, not really, but kinda, when it comes to taking the next step, using what ifs to your advantage. To beat what ifs at their own game and make them submit to you, it comes down to one thing, focus.

Focus is everything, because left to their own devices, What ifs can be shady as fuck. They will manipulate you into focusing on one narrow set of sky is falling facts instead of offering the whole unadulterated truth. in context. It’s like fake news for your fertility journey. For every negative what if, there is an equally persuasive positive possibility, my love.

The negative what ifs might be louder at present, but that doesn’t make them right. Bullies bombastically bluster to control your focus and knock you off your game. Quit falling for that shit. Take assiduous responsibility for your focus. The truth is, there is an equally persuasive, positive possibility here.

And now it’s time to really start exercising that muscle. Just running off with a negative storyline, it’s just fucking lazy. When you control your focus, you control your narrative. This is how you can use what ifs to your advantage. Focus your energy on the possibility that shit can actually go right.

Focus your creative power on how things can work for you. This might seem like a gargantuan feat when negative what ifs have been stealing your mental lunch money for decades. It just takes practice, and it goes something like this. What if things actually work out perfectly for me? What if my baby comes right on time?

What if this journey is actually a gift? What if I am a unicorn? Feels better already, doesn’t it? Let’s make the what ifs work for you. So here are some steps that you can take to really take control of this and really start working with it. And again, this is a starting point, so go easy with yourself and just follow the steps.

1. When a negative what if shows up, respond to it with a sassy, self assured, I will find a way. 2. Immediately decide where you will focus. Are you gonna focus on more cray cray chicken little bullshit? Or some positive possibilities? Use your creative power for good, my love. The impact on your journey will be insane.

3. Turn the shitty what ifs around on themselves and ask what ifs that feel great and are just as legit. For example, what if everything just works out perfectly for me and it’s simply a matter of time? That’s a great what if, right? Here’s what you’ve got to get really clear. Just because something is negative doesn’t make it more credible.

Use your critical thinking skills here. See beyond the bluster. Refuse to be bullied. Remember, just because something is negative doesn’t make it more credible. The whole truth is that anything is possible. Even the good shit. If you’re honest with yourself, you will see how this is actually played out in your life.

My ladies use what ifs to their advantage. They focus on the ones that keep them winning, not spinning. Decide you’ll be one of them. And let’s be honest, love, wouldn’t you just absolutely love to learn how to do this mindset shit finally? Like, finally use those gorgeous thinking powers that you have for good on your fertility journey?

Well, if you would love to do that, I am inviting you to be part of my Fearlessly Fertile Breakthrough Retreat here in Boise. It’s happening on May 16th and 17th, and we are accepting applications for spots right now. It’s going to be your chance to spend two full days with me getting coaching. Learning the exact mindset technology that I have taught women all over the world live and in person It’s how women are using the power of mindset to finally get the results They’ve always craved on their journey and to finally be the mom they were meant to be So if you would love to join us check out the link that’s embedded in the show notes And I can’t wait to meet you in Boise till next time my darling be fearless Be Fertile.

Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying, Hell Yes!

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.