Why being realistic can work against you

How often, in the past week, have you used these 3 words (in this order) against yourself?




Cloaked in an air of level-headed authority, there are no 3 words more toxic to your dreams on this journey.

In one moment you dare to envision the first time you hold your baby to your chest and breathe in that intoxicating baby smell…

Add those 3 dreaded words to the mix and…

…Your warm, inspired vision evaporates into a miserable rehashing of every heartbreak and disappointment you have endured on this journey…because somehowthat is more realistic.

If you are anything like I was on this journey, you have a tendency to use “being realistic” AGAINST yourself.

Being “realistic” becomes synonymous with cautious, sometimes superstitious negativity, “not getting your hopes up,” and the biggest line of bullshit ever…”protecting” yourself from the pain of disappointment.

Being “realistic” is the means by which we keep ourselves small, reign in our desires, and buy into notions of lack, limitation, and scarcity.

The truth about “being realistic” is it’s not entirely realistic at all.

9.99999 times out of 10, when you are “being realistic,” you are focusing solely on (and giving more credence to) negative facts on your journey, rather than considering ALL of the relevant facts as a whole.

Conspicuously missing from the equation? The positive facts. The small mercies, acts of kindness, compassion, strokes of serendipity, intense love, inspired possibilities, and the tiniest of wins. (Why are these facts less credible??)

Not only is “being realistic,” in this context therefore intellectually dishonest, it has the perverse power to blind you to the people, opportunities, and mindset that can make all the difference on your journey.

Is it time to reevaluate what it means to be realistic on your fertility journey?

What are you missing out on by making the negative more “real?”

What is NOT happening in your life as a result of being “realistic?”

What is it costing you, literally and figuratively to stay stuck in “realistic?”

My ladies dare to be decidedly “unrealistic.”

They defy the odds and make the most incredible things happen for themselves on this journey and in their lives because of it.

Decide you will be one of them.

Change your mindset, change your results.



Intrigued? Here’s an exercise to take this to the next level…

Challenge your definition of “realistic.”

Consider the questions I posed above.

Dare to be completely honest about the impact “being realistic” has had on your journey.

Is it keeping you SMALL?

Is it keeping you from having what you truly desire on this journey?

Is it keeping you stuck in the notion that success on this journey is for OTHER PEOPLE and not you?

Ready to get out of your “realistic rut?” Then, it’s time for us to talk about working together–my clients are women who take a stand for their desires and get what they want. Apply here.

Transformation happens in your ACTION. Quit wishing and waiting.

Stretch yourself. Remember, it’s about progress, NOT perfection.