What if the only answer you ever needed, to any question on this journey, consisted of two words? Our decisions and the spirit in which we make them are a critical aspect of our ultimate success. Hemming, hawing, and agonizing over decisions may be the “thing” that blocks you from having what you want most. The 7-day experiment proposed in this episode is a game-changer.
Transcript:
Hey, gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.
I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the fearlessly fertile podcast, episode 61, the hell yes experiment.
Hey loves, can you believe we are on the precipice of wrapping up the weeks and months we have spent as a global community in varying degrees of quarantine and social distancing? It’s mind blowing. I bet that when you started 2020, you didn’t know social distancing was a thing. I know I certainly didn’t.
The weeks and months we have spent in this way have unquestionably given us the chance to interrupt the regularly scheduled programming of our lives and really look at our shit. I mean, really look at our shit, not just as individuals, but as a planet. The reduction in pollution is crazy. The amount of global seismic activity has even dropped.
Well, except for those of us in Idaho, where we had a 6. 5 earthquake a few weeks ago. Threw my husband and I for a loop as lifelong Californians, because we didn’t even know that shit like that happened here in Idaho. But you get the picture. Things have definitely been weird. The loss of life, heartbreaking.
And it’s clear that when we all emerge from this, it may be a while before we all feel, quote, normal again. I was chatting with a mentor of mine a couple weeks ago and we talked about how this experience in our lives can serve as a crossroads. We can either emerge from this more consciously aware of what’s important to us and who we choose to be in that emergence, or we can just rush to go back to business as usual and forget the lessons we’ve been offered during this strangely precious time.
Will we be conscious or will we fall back into the swampy embrace of the normalcy bias that will lull us back to sleep in our lives? Unconscious is a word I would use to describe how I lived a significant portion of my own fertility journey. I got on the hamster wheel and ran till my paws were fucking bloody.
I did everything they told me to do, but not a goddamn thing worked. What I was asleep to was the fact that the entire shit show lacked the most critical piece of the puzzle. Me. No treatment, diet, lotion, potion, vaginal steam, or boiled black chicken was going to do shit without me. Just like none of what you are doing will mean or do shit without you.
You. Yes, you. And I’m giving it to you straight so you can do better for yourself. Because, look, instead of asking if something was actually right for me, Roseanne Austin, I just fucking did it. I abdicated so much power to people outside of me. It was a complete failure on my part to accept personal responsibility for my results.
It’s really weird, actually, because I was never a person that would have thought of herself as someone who would abdicate such responsibility. At work, in the courtroom, I would have said fuck that to the idea of not leading the charge. But when it came to the fertility aspect of my life, that’s exactly what I did.
The other thing I noticed about myself during that time was that I agonized over every decision like a complete fucking wreck. I couldn’t seem to make a confident decision for shit. Simple yeses or nos became like the Cuban Missile Crisis. Hand wringing, second guessing, flip flopping, indecision. It’s all the shit I fucking hate.
I was used to marshalling information quickly and decisively in my work, juggling dozens of witnesses at a time and multiple law enforcement agencies at the state and federal level. But when it came to my fertility journey, I was like a quivering mass of disempowered jelly. The me of today has compassion for the me of all of those years ago.
But what I would say to that old version of me is simply this. Just make a fucking decision. Stop acting like any choice you will make here is wrong. It’s not. It’s just a choice. You will recover from whatever the outcome is. There is no lack of money. There is no lack of opportunity. There will be more of both right around the corner, so just make a fucking decision.
Trust what Gus, and when I say Gus, I mean God, Universe, Spirit, put in your heart. Innovation and inspired action are murdered by the blight of fucking indecision. As my ongoing commitment to my community of fuck yeah let’s do this shit women I continue to ask myself how I can help you emerge from this strange time better than ever.
It is with this intention that this week I’m throwing out a challenge. It’s what I’m calling the Hell Yes Experiment. The premise is simple. Simplify your fucking life by making your answer to any question a simple hell yes. Or hell no, when we really get down to brass tacks, there is no other answer that’s actually worthy of you.
And, don’t you owe it to the people you love and respect to let them see what’s true for you? Rather than sheepishly saying yes to shit you don’t want to do just to make them happy, then resenting them? Or blaming them? Hell yes! Or hell no. Nobody who really cares about living a full amazing life has time for hell maybe.
In fact, hell maybe is like you giving your intuition the finger. It’s a betrayal of the wisdom that flows freely inside of you. You know exactly what you want to do. It’s either hell yes or hell no. Hell maybe is a wimpy stall tactic. Whenever I hear someone tell me, I don’t know, I need to think about it, what’s going on in my mind is, no you don’t.
You know exactly what you want to do right now and you’re going to spend the next few hours agonizing over it, trying to come up with excuses to justify it. Quit wasting your life. It’s either hell yes Or hell no. Quit spinning, mama! Spinning is something we do to ourselves. All it does is perpetuate the twisted, learned helplessness that has kept women subjugated for generations.
You don’t need to ask for anyone’s permission. This is your fucking life, and as a grown ass woman, it is up to you to make the decisions that will shape your life. This experiment is for and about you. It is about reuniting you with your power. This might scare the shit out of you, and it just may be the path to freedom for you.
The freedom you’ve been dying for in this chapter of your life. Here’s what this might look like in practice. For the next seven days, when presented with a choice, Note your instinctive answer, and that means what you feel in your gut, then answer, hell yes or hell no. The shit has to be at least a nine in your book to get a hell yes.
Anything less is a hell no. No convincing, no excuses. Big girl panties are required for this because you take responsibility for the outcome like an adult. Here’s an example. Your boss presents you with a chance to make a presentation at work. Gut check. Hell yes or hell no. Then, let them know right away.
You don’t actually have to use the prefix hell if that’s not your way that of typically communicating with your boss, but suffice it to say that your yes or no is confident. Confident isn’t rude or bitchy, it’s just clear. Here’s another example. Your partner says, Hey, let’s spend the entire fucking night watching Gold Rush and make it a marathon.
Gut check, hell yes or hell no. Then let them know right away. You might respond with, Babe, I love you with all my heart, but hell no. Gold Rush is not a show that’s for me. I’m gonna take a long, hot bath instead. Adult to adult, speak your truth. It’s not rude to speak your truth, nor does it mean you don’t love someone when you speak your mind.
It’s quite possibly one of the most loving things you can do because you’re letting them see the real you. Re listen to episode 59 if you need a refresher on that topic. Here’s another example. Maybe you’re being told by your RE to do IVF or use donor eggs. Gut check. Is that a hell yes or hell no for you?
Then let them know right away. Remember who’s in charge here. Don’t forget, this is your life. You know what you want to do. Give yourself permission to speak your mind. Speak your hell yes, or hell no, and stand by it. If something is a raging hell yes for you, own it, and a way will be shown. You’re gonna figure this out.
If something is a raging hell no, chances are you’ll be so glad you spoke it. All of this is about you ending the cycle of unnecessary spinning and agony. You know your mind, my darling. Honor it. And when the whiny saboteur in you starts saying, But Rosanne, I hate my job. I have to work to make money. This is dumb.
This hell yes or hell no can’t possibly apply to me. Bullshit. The spirit of this is taking a stand for not wasting your life. If your job sucks, change it. Start a fucking business. Do something. Don’t just bitch and complain. Hell yes or hell no is about not squandering your precious life on things that are beneath you.
We still have to take showers, we still make our beds, or my husband does that in our house, but we pay our bills, we make our kids lunches, but we do all of that because those things are part of saying hell no to a life of mediocrity. We do those things as part of our greater hell, yes. Don’t get stuck in the weeds with this experiment.
If you’re struggling with this concept, it’s your saboteur trying to keep you small and stuck. Besides, if you’re bored with some of the lame shit in your life, say hell no to it and find someone else to do it. So you can focus on the stuff that is a real hell yes for you. If you’re sick and tired of doing your fertility juices, hire someone to make it for you, have them delivered.
Say hell no to doing shit that bores you, and a giant hell yes to the things that will support you. And you’ll be contributing to the local economy. You will also notice that your life isn’t so cluttered with other people’s baggage when you live by hell yes and hell no. In taking a stand for your hell yes or hell no, you also open the door for the people in your life to speak their truth as well.
This isn’t just a one way street. Everyone gets free from ridiculous juvenile expectations to be compliant. Instead, you, your partner, and maybe even your friends and family will come together knowing that whatever you’re doing is from a place of loving choice, not obligation, which only perpetuates codependence.
Can you imagine how good it would feel to just drop that shit? If a global health crisis teaches us nothing else. Let it teach us the value of how precious life is and especially living a life of integrity. Hell yes or hell no, baby. So here’s the exercise to put this in practice, if you dare. One, for the next seven days, make the spirit of hell yes or hell no part of your soul’s lexicon.
When presented with a choice, listen to your gut or intuition, they’re the same thing, answer according to that. You know it’s your gut or intuition because it’s your immediate answer. It’s not the product of machinations or mental gymnastics. Hell yes, or hell no. Your saboteurs are going to go crazy and try to freak you out about what other people might think as a result of you doing this.
But here’s the deal. What other people think isn’t your fuckin business. Truth will always come looking for you. When you speak it, it may be a little uncomfortable, but the peace you gain will be amazing. If you ignore your truth and say yes when you mean no, you will pay with regret. You can’t say I didn’t warn you, and I bet you know it’s true.
Two, keep track of your hell yeses and no’s. And journal about what you’re noticing. What do you notice about you in taking this stance? What do you notice about the people around you? Are they responding differently? Remember, we train people how to treat us and you are now training people to expect truth from you.
You aren’t wasting your life doing shit that isn’t at least a nine. I am telling you your hair will never be more shiny your skin. Skin will never be more glowy. There’s something magical about women who really live life to the hilt. I mean, I’m sure you’ve seen them. Women that are really in their power, so loving, not only of themselves, but of other people.
This is the power that comes from knowing your hell yeses, and hell no’s baby. And number three, text the link to this podcast episode to someone you think could benefit from it. Screenshot this episode and put in your Facebook or Insta story tagging me. Love, I know this, this experiment with hell yes or hell no can pose some interesting additional questions and maybe even, you know, spark some fear in you.
And there’s never been a more important time to speak hell yes or hell no, this is your truth. And when you wear a mask, how will your baby ever find you? My love stand up for being the woman you choose to be. Okay. You’re going to be modeling this to your children. You’re going to be shaping your family tree.
When you take this stand, my fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes. To covering their bases, mind and body. So you don’t look back on this time with soul searing regret. That includes knowing your hell yeses and your hell knows. I work with women who are all about hell.
Yes. They make decisions, not excuses to apply for your interview for this program. Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for your interview with me there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, you’ve got a gaping hole in your strategy.
Love. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for the success you deserve. Till next time, change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of The Fearlessly Fertile Podcast. Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.
When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.