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With a history of miscarriage, chromosomally abnormal embryos, “kinked” tubes, failed IVF treatments, and endometriosis Kathryn could have given up on her dream of being a Mom. Instead, she took a leap, found her voice, followed her heart, and beat incredible odds. Learn exactly how she did it in less than a year after learning to THINK and TAKE ACTION like a woman who succeeds.
Transcript:
Hey, gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.
I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, bad assery, and loads of hell. Yes. For your fertility journey, it’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast episode 40.
By following her intuition, she beat the odds. Oh my love. So excited to come to you this week with just a truly amazing interview that I’ve got lined up for you with. One of my miracle mamas, you guys are going to fall in love with Catherine, just like I did. And one of the things that I am super excited to share with you about this interview is, look, this time of year, it’s super easy to get caught up and, you know, thinking, Oh my gosh, so much doom and gloom.
Another year is about to go by. Where am I on this journey? What am I doing? Is this baby ever going to come? And I thought bringing you this interview with Katherine is coming at the perfect time because as you will learn, this amazing woman had a history of miscarriage, chromosomally abnormal embryos, what she calls kinked tubes, failed IVF treatments, and endometriosis.
My darling Katherine could have given up on her dream of being a mom. But instead, as you will hear, this woman took a leap, found her voice, followed her heart and beat incredible odds. And as you will learn, she did that in less than a year after learning to think and take action like a woman who succeeds.
So if you’re finding yourself in a place, you know, we’re well into the holidays. And you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re, you’re wondering when the hell is this ever going to happen for you? Maybe you’re looking back on a year that has been just failure after failure or disappointment after disappointment or setback after setback.
You get the picture. Listen carefully to the lessons that Catherine is going to teach you today. Really take this to heart. As I have said before. Every one of my miracle mamas is extraordinary and she is so loving and so generous and she is coming to you from a place of love, really wanting to share that you can do this too.
So if you find yourself in a place Where you’re losing steam, you’re starting to worry, really take in today’s episode. Let Catherine’s enthusiasm, her joy, and her commitment just wash over you. Whatever you hear in this precious woman exists in you too. I want you to know that. But it’s about finding your own expression of it.
Let my interview with the amazing Catherine light a fire in your soul and help you say your hell Yes, just a little bit louder. So here is my interview with the amazing Catherine. Ladies, I am so delighted I can barely stand it, uh, that we’re going to be having a conversation with truly one of The most inspiring women I’ve ever had the good fortune of working with.
And you’ve heard a lot of inspiring women here. And I just can’t tell you how awesome it is to be on this side of her journey, having this kind of conversation with my beloved Catherine. Catherine and I met last fearlessly fertile method program and. I remember from the very moment that we had our very first conversation there was just light in Catherine that just Knocked my socks off.
And so it is with true pleasure. It’s an incredible honor. And with some tears coming to my eyes, as I say her name, that I’m going to bring her onto the podcast. So welcome Catherine. Hi, thank you. Thank you so much. You’re making me tear up too. I just love your story and it’s, it’s such a delight. So why don’t you start us off my love and tell the ladies listening.
A little bit about your journey and how we met. Okay. So you and I met after I was trying to get pregnant for about two years. And so total, my journey was three years long. And it was really in that last year when, you know, so many things started coming together for me. After I met you, the ball really started rolling.
You know, I got, I remember I got married when I was 36 and I kind of felt like already behind the game in a way. And I, um, I remember feeling like very worried and afraid that I might never become pregnant for absolutely no reason. I just kind of felt this like doom in a way. And that doom, I guess, kind of manifested itself because over the course of about, let’s see.
So I started trying to get pregnant with my husband, like right after we got married. And strangely enough, actually the first time that I used an ovulation predictor kit, um, we actually did get pregnant. And I remember thinking like, Why does everybody stress out about getting pregnant? It’s so easy. Just use an ovulation kit, you know, famous last words, basically that, that pregnancy, um, didn’t last very long.
And I miscarried within a couple of weeks. And after that, it was like nothing. Like I just, you know, I, I didn’t get pregnant again for almost three years. And in that time, you know, I started right after the miscarriage, I was like, I have to do something. There’s something going on. There must be something wrong with me.
What can I do? And I started going to acupuncture and I started seeing an herbalist and I did that for maybe six or seven months. And you know, there was nothing happening, nothing happening. And I was like, okay, next step. You know, I think that we should do IVF. So after about, I don’t know, maybe it was a year or so of trying naturally, um, doing acupuncture and taking herbal supplements.
And seeing like a, uh, acupuncturist who specialized specifically in fertility and doing some lifestyle and diet changes, like cutting back on caffeine, um, really limiting alcohol consumption, everything that everyone gets advised to do, you know, all the time. I started feeling like, why, you know, why is this still not happening?
Like, what can I do? My husband was really confident that it was going to happen. He was always like, this is going to happen. This is going to happen. And I was always kind of the one to be like, I don’t know if it’s going to happen, but I want to do everything I can to make it happen. And so we decided to pursue the IVF route, uh, mostly because I felt like, you know, I kind of think about things I learned from you.
Like, I feel like I was being very like. Man about it in a way, like I was like, this is a problem and I have to find the solution. And as soon as I, you know, put the right input in, I’m going to fix it and, you know, just make it happen. We did IVF and we wound up doing two rounds of IVF. We did, uh, two egg retrievals and both times we got three embryos that like made it to genetic testing.
And then, um, each time they all came back, uh, chromosomally abnormal. So I was. really devastated. And we did those IVF rounds. We started doing the first one, I guess, in our second year of trying. And I feel like I’m going to lose myself in the chronology, but I’ll hit the highlights. So
like we started doing the IVF in about the second year of trying. And that was around the time that I, I actually discovered you. I listened to one of your podcasts and I was like, Oh my God, this is the person who really gets it. Like up until that point, I felt so alone and I felt so like nobody understood what I was going through.
Like even my husband, I feel like, and we’re so close and we have such an amazing relationship. It’s just not the same in my experience. You know, when it’s your body and it’s like, you feel like why Is this so easy for everybody else? And for me, it’s like just not happening. You know, it’s just no matter what I do, it’s, it’s just not happening and, and, and what’s wrong with me.
You know, I think there’s like a really big feeling of like failure and self doubt, you know, if not like self loathing sometimes, like why, what’s wrong, you know, with me. And so, you know, when I heard you coming through and like I would listen to like your best pep talk ever, like over and over and over again, I am not alone, she gets it, she gets it, you know?
So that was actually like right around the time when we started our first IVF cycle. But even before we started the IVF cycle, I mean, I was doing so much stuff. I was taking like seriously 20 vitamins a day. I’m not even kidding. Holy shit. It was insane. Like if you could see like my vitamin, you know, container, it was like, it was like, like I had morning, afternoon and night, right.
And like, I think it was four times a day I was taking pills and it was because My IVF doctor actually recommended natural supplements. So he had me taking like, you know, vitamin C and turmeric and all kinds of things. Like I knew what they were, but it was like, he’s just like, try it, you know, just do it.
So I did that for, I don’t know, probably almost a year. I’m not even kidding. And, um, so I was taking all the supplements, I’m doing all the acupuncture, I’m doing meditation. Um, you know, I discover you and I go in and do my first IVF cycle and it’s a flop, right? It doesn’t happen. Um, the embryos come back chromosomally abnormal and that was really devastating.
And then I was like, okay, what else can I do? What else can I do? And I was still listening to your podcast and you know, trying to adopt like what I was learning from you. So I started doing. Like the morning routine where I would, you know, sit and kind of visualize what I wanted and I would journal and I would read.
And that was really helping me to shift my perspective. So you know, I started, started moving out of this place of like feeling like, is this ever going to happen? Like maybe it’s not for me, you know, maybe this is just never going to work for me to realizing like, okay, I can get in touch with the part of myself.
That really knows it is for me, you know, and I can start to really try to believe that and as I was yeah As I was doing that I you offered that I guess it was I don’t I was at the Fearlessly Fertile Fall Workshop, whatever that was called. It was about a year ago You know, this time. And I remember as soon as I saw the email, I was like, I am doing that.
There was no question. Like I had signed up by the end of the day because I was like, first of all, it’s going to fill up. So I need to like make sure I’m in it. And number two, like I just knew that it was the right thing for me. Like I was like, I need that because I need other women. Like I, I feel like for me.
It was like, I didn’t have any friends who had gone through this, you know, either my friends had kids like virtually by accident, you know, or they hadn’t, they didn’t have kids and they were kind of like, they want kids. And it was like, well, what are you complaining about? At least you’re trying, you know?
So nobody really understood. I didn’t feel. understood in any, by anyone. And it was very isolating and that made it harder. So, you know, I really wanted to connect and at least hear, you know, what other people were going through. So I did your, your, um, workshop and then it was during that, you know, that I really started to discover my saboteurs who I know for me played like a huge part, probably for everyone, I guess, a huge part in, I guess, kind of blocking Me blocking myself, you know from what I really wanted and you know Yeah, like one of my saboteurs is like you don’t get to have everything you want, you know And because I feel like I have so much good in my life.
I mean, I love my husband. I love my job I love my home. I love where I live I was like if I have a baby something’s gonna go wrong, you know Like something’s gonna something’s gonna fall apart because I can’t have everything Holy shit, you think that might be a block? Yeah, I think that, I know. I know. And when I realized that was a block, I was like, holy shit.
You know, I have to, you know, this is real. Like, this is something that I think, you know, but I don’t think it consciously. I don’t walk around saying that to myself, but I do in some really deep way. You know, and so for me that like started opening up this whole new way of seeing things and thinking like, well, okay, so maybe I can have it all.
Like maybe I can, maybe I can do this. Maybe that’s just a voice that’s like telling me something that isn’t actually true and I can. you know, quiet it like I can, I can listen to something else instead. And that’s huge. Yeah, it really was. It really was. And I still actually think about my saboteurs like they like make their appearance, you know, even today, like I’m not literally today, but like at this point in my life and you know, you’ve said to like, they’re always, they’ll be around, you know, it’s just like recognizing them.
And, you know, saying, okay, I hear you, but I’m gonna, you know, go with this story instead. Like, I believe this. Right. And, you know, faith over fear, I think, you know, is something that you always said, and I really always had to remind myself of that, because I think I have a lot of fear and sort of Changing that into faith, you know, like you’ve said, like they’re both invisible.
Which one are you going to believe in? Yeah. Yeah. That is so huge. And you know, that’s really this, this whole thing that you’re talking about, like. community, having structure, learning the skillset, and learning to identify, you know, who’s driving the bus. Is it your faith? Is it your saboteurs? I mean, that’s everything that is behind, you know, my fearlessly fertile method.
Like absolutely. The whole point of that is to empower women. With this extremely unique skill set. Yeah that it takes to live this journey So so tell us a little bit. I mean because you and I because we’re conversant in this language. Yeah Like it’s really interesting to me, you know the way that you know, we’re talking about the block so You know, share a little bit about how you saw yourself blocking what you wanted, because if you’re telling yourself the story that things essentially can only get so good, what were some of the ways that you were blocking this success that you wanted so badly?
Like what were some of the things you were telling yourself? I think for me, it was like a deep underlying fear. that I don’t know, like it wasn’t this conscious thing that I was saying. It was more like a feeling that I carried for a lot of my life. And I know for me, and this is just like my personal experience, you know, my father passed away when I was really young.
And what I started to realize as I was going through this journey was that that early life experience, I think kind of instilled this fear in me of Maybe having a child and also, you know, having it all. Like when everything is really good, something bad happens. Like I kind of had this realization one day I was like, Oh my God, like I actually think.
And if I have a child, someone’s going to die. Like I think that and I don’t think it consciously, but I feel it and it’s a fear. And so I actually started going to therapy and you know, like really started to work through that. And, and that was a big part of what I had to do personally because It was something I think I carried my whole life, but I didn’t realize it until I got to this particular point.
So, you know, you’ve always said like the, you know, the journey to becoming a mom is one that helps you really, for me, you know, become the mom I want to be. And so it’s like, I really had this opportunity, which is a really generous word. Cause I would also say it was like. awful and painful and the most difficult thing I ever did, but it was an opportunity, you know, like it was hell, but it was great because I, because I learned that about myself and I think that I will be a better mom because of it.
Like I’m not afraid, you know, I still have to work on that and practice it, but it’s like I can have that faith and over fear. And I feel like, so I think the way I was blocking myself was kind of just my own personal history. Yeah. That it kind of built itself up and sort of ossified into this belief system that I was unaware of.
It doesn’t even really make rational sense, you know, but emerged from my experience and Yeah, so for me that was a big part of it. Mm hmm, you know and just how do you think you blocked yourself? Like what would an example of that be? It’s a good question. I’m not sure honestly, I guess like well, okay Well one thing that I noticed like I remember going way back to the very beginning when my husband I first tried trying to get pregnant we were on our honeymoon And we were traveling through Italy and we would go into all these churches and I’m not really religious.
Like I was raised Jewish and I just culturally Jewish and I do meditation now after this journey. But that was pretty much the extent of like my spiritual life. But you know, we were going into these different churches and I would feel myself drawn. So like the, the matron saint, like whoever was the female figure.
And I remember like praying in this way, like being like, please let me get pregnant. Please let me have a baby. Please let me get pregnant. And I was like almost begging this power, you know, whatever it is to help me. And I realized way later when I was doing the program with you that what I was actually saying to the universe was, I don’t have a baby.
I’m not pregnant. I don’t have a baby. And I was like. It was like I went into the whole process from day one, like the very first month we started trying to get pregnant, feeling like it wasn’t going to happen, even though at the same time, it was all I ever want, you know? And yeah. And so I think that’s how I blocked myself was.
Sort of, again, going back to that saboteur saying like the one thing you want most in the world, you don’t get to have, you know, or you’re going to have to beg for it or you’re going to have to be so lucky to get it. Like it’s such a slim chance, you know, all of my thinking for me, it was never a casual thing.
Like a lot of my, I feel like my friends are just like, Oh, you know, you try to get pregnant, no big deal. And for me, even before I was struggling to get to conceive, I feel like I was struggling. You know? And again, that’s, that’s me. I don’t know how much that played into it, but I have thought about it and been like, huh, did I create a whole self fulfilling prophecy or maybe I set this whole thing up like just from that fear, you know, alone.
And so like, it wasn’t until, like I said, it wasn’t until like years later after like realizing all this stuff and looking back on my honeymoon and what I was putting out into the universe, you know, it was really the opposite. Um, of what I wanted, but I just didn’t, I didn’t know how to connect to the part of myself that knew I could do it like that took so long.
I mean, that wasn’t until like the last year of this journey after I did the workshop with you and I got really inspired and you introduced me to Andy Mayhew, who was my nutritionist. And he got me on like this crazy diet that I never thought I could do in a million years, but ended up being like the most amazing thing for me possible.
And got me doing hit exercise, which I also never thought I would do, but it was, I remember like. Whenever I was doing the exercise, like I would, I would like, I’m going to be a mom. I’m going to be a mom. I’m going to be a mom, you know? And there was even a time when I was repeating that to myself when I was doing like this hard thing where you just stand up on a bench and step back down and do it up and down, up and down really, really fast.
And I just started repeating that in my head. And as soon as I started repeating it in my head, it’s like my body started moving faster and more in line with like what I was supposed to be doing. And at the end, my trainer said to me, he was like, Whoa, like out of nowhere, you just. Picked up and really started moving.
And I knew that he was talking about the moment that I started saying that mantra to myself. And so for me, I was like, I am saying this all the time. Like I’m going to be a mom, going to be a mom, going to be a mom. And I took that, you know, and, and used it in my exercise. I used it in the diet that I adopted.
And I just really made it a part of like my new way of thinking. And, and that was, I think that as I did that, it’s like. I started to believe it more and the more I could believe it, the more I could like feel it, you know, and like, just feel like the conviction, like, feel like it in your gut, like, yes, like I can do this.
You know, I can do this. Well, even hearing you say that, I’m like getting all high vibes and all, like, it’s just so good. And like, well, but isn’t that, isn’t that in stark contrast though, from telling yourself, Oh, this is too expensive. I can’t possibly do this. I’ve been trying too long. I’m too old. I mean, totally.
Because that’s also how we block ourselves. Like, you, you have this big story in the background. I mean, it’s what I like to call the megalodon. It’s that, that dark and hideous story swimming just below the surface, you know, that, that is the big ugly. Yeah. Saying that things can only get so good that if you have what you want, somebody’s going to die.
Like, in exchange for your blessing, there will be a loss. Yeah. I mean, who wouldn’t be afraid of having a baby and literally, like, physically and spiritually block having what you want if you think something terrible is going to happen? Yeah. That’s true. Yeah. And then all the, the cascade of excuses that can come.
You know, along with that, like the time, the money and all this other crap. Right. Of course. Yeah. The parade is logic, right? Yes. So, okay. So you said that you connected with part of yourself that knew that she could, and that was this whole feeling that you’re describing. Like, yeah. What was that like? Tell these women who are listening to this.
What it was like to finally get to the point where you believed it would happen for you because that’s in many ways one of the many holy grails on this journey and like that’s everything we work toward when we’re coming from a place of fear, you know, we, we have to get to that point where we know it, even though We don’t have the evidence before us, and you did the miraculous here, you know, getting to believe that.
So what was that like? Like, how did that feel to finally position yourself to live your journey that way? In some ways, it felt like I was taking the steps to become my very best self. And I was finally like not hiding from any part of myself, not that I ever would have said I do that before, but I guess, you know, we all have things that, you know, we just want to live our lives and like keep in the rhythm that we always had.
You know, we don’t want to like challenge what we do because it’s uncomfortable. And I feel like I remember you saying a lot like You can’t stay comfortable, you know, you have to get uncomfortable and when you get uncomfortable, you know, that’s when you can break through those places in yourself that are holding you back.
And I feel like I embrace that like whole heart and head and body and everything. Like I was just like, I will do whatever it takes to make myself move in the direction I want to move. And so for me, that was, you know, The diet and the exercise and therapy and those three things like, because I had the right people I was working with really helped me grow as a person.
So by a certain point, even in the journey, yes, I thought about having a child every single day. I mean, I have the screensaver that I got from you that says I’m meant to be a mom and I look at it every time I open my phone and I still look at it every time I open my phone, you know? So this was, having a child was on my mind, like.
Probably at least, you know, it floated through there every hour, you know, but at the same time It was about more than that at a certain point for me. It was about like Just, you know, getting rid of the things that, that were blocking me, you know, execute and, and realizing that I had more potential than I realized, because I think for me, like moving along on the journey, I had to reach a certain point of like sadness and frustration.
And even depression, like I think, you know, at a certain point, probably right before I found you, I was really, really sad and I was really down. And I felt like just, I mean, I think that, you know, struggling with fertility, the thing I’ve always thought is like, in your down moments, it can be like dealing with grief.
You know? I mean, the only thing that I could ever relate my sadness to was. a sense of deep loss because all I wanted was to be a mom and I felt like I didn’t know if that was going to happen like in some ways it felt like it was taken away from me. And so I was struggling with that demon and, and to wrestle it, you know, I just put everything I had into whatever felt like the most right thing to do for me.
So I feel like for everybody, it’s, you know, you can’t say like, here’s, here’s what I did. Do this. You know, it’s more like, like, but what you’re talking about, I feel like is what everyone should do, which is to develop that mentality that guides you in the direction you need to go in. So I was moving in the direction that was right for me.
And that felt like it fed me. And the more I fed myself, the more I became the person I wanted to be and the mom that I wanted to be. And the more I started to believe I could be a mom, and you know, so it was like, it almost reached this point where like, I met, obviously being a mom was my main motivator, but I also felt like there were times towards the end before I got pregnant where I actually would say like, I am grateful for this journey, you know, which I do not say lightly, but I’m like sobbing on my kitchen counter and feel like it’s never going to end and, you know, hollering at the universe wondering why it’s hasn’t, it hasn’t over yet.
You know? So, like, there, that’s not to be taken lightly, like, I, it wasn’t easy and everyone who’s been through it knows that, but, um, you know, but I also was like, this has helped me so much. Like, I am the person I want to be, you know, and I thought I was great before, but, oh, I’m really great. Like, now I really know.
Like, I love that. I love that. But you’re living proof, as, as all of my ladies are. Um, why mindset is foundational? Because I think you hit the head is that, you know, every woman’s journey is going to be different. The one thing that unifies us though is we have to think like women who succeed because yeah That’s that’s everything because you’re definitely yeah Your thoughts lead to your beliefs your beliefs lead to your actions and your choices and therefore your results It’s it’s quite logical and linear, but it’s the place we don’t look it’s the play, right?
you know that Um, you become literally as you have today, you literally become your own silver bullet because it’s never going to be one thing, but there is a basis and the foundation that you have to have in order to get to that thing. Right. Yeah. In order to get to that space. So, so why don’t you tell us a little bit, so here you are, you’ve been trying for three years, you, you know, got pregnant once.
How to miscarriage you’re you’re having these treatments Where, you know, you’re doing your retrievals. None of your embryos are coming back, right? Normally normal you have a lot of things coming at you. You’re crying at your kitchen counter. Yeah So what was different? You know, what was different after you started applying the principles that I teach like You became this woman.
So what were some of the things that changed as a result of becoming this woman? What are some of the opportunities that you availed yourself and how did you change? So I think what’s interesting about that is, so I had, um, the way we set up our IVF like a package was we had three egg retrievals and, or, you know, three transfers in a year.
So by the time I was In the fall program with you, I was on my second egg retrieval and it was during that program that I found out that that one also came back chromosomally abnormal. And it was that, you know, time that it was very critical shift for me because I really, you know, took to heart what you said about not worrying about time.
And even though I was like, well, we have this package, you know, we’re going to do one more. Round, but I took a lot of time off. So I took off from, that was, I mean, we did it in the fall, so it was probably like November ish, let’s say. And I took like the next four or five, six months off. Like I didn’t actually go back to the IVF clinic to do the third round until May.
And it was because I decided like, you know, you encouraged me to meet Andy Mayhew and I met, I started working with him and he encouraged me to, you know, do the diet and the exercise for three months. So before, you know, doing any more retrievals or anything, and I was like, great, because I need time off anyway.
And I really started to shift, you know, from thinking I’m so behind, you know, I’m so behind the clock. Like I started out behind them. I’m going to be more behind. I have to rush, rush, rush into like really taking back my power. Like, I feel like I gave. When I personally, when I went into the IVF world, that was kind of like me saying like, I can’t do this on my own.
I need someone to do it for me. And I think that IVF is great and I know it’s worked for many people and I’m not saying that when you go and do that, that’s what you’re saying, but I do feel like for me, it was like a, um, It was like, I just was so desperate to have a child. I just wanted the doctor to fix it, you know?
And when I started to lose faith in that process, um, because I also like, didn’t even know if I fully believed them about my embryos. Like part of me did research and found that sometimes those tests aren’t true, you know? And, and that led me to explore doctors in New York. And I was like, And I, I live far away from New York, you know, making appointments like in the future to go meet doctors who might consider actually using those embryos.
So I was doing everything I could in terms of research. Like I was never not looking into it and not because, just because I was just, it was really important to me. Like I felt like I had to do it, you know? And so when I took that time off, I feel like what changed for me is I started really putting the ball in my court.
Um, in this way that I never had with, you know, something like this before, like I never had fully, um, embrace the idea that I could potentially make it happen. You know? And for me that, you know, when I did that, it might’ve meant doing everything I can and then going back and doing my third round of IVF.
Like I wasn’t saying like, Oh, I’m going to do this all on my own. I was just saying, I need time to heal and I need time to get healthy. And I want to be my strongest, best self, you know, when I go back and do this third round. And so, you know, that led to the things that I was doing. And then I also, in the meantime, found the program that you and I talked about, the WURN program or Clear Passage.
Um, that treated me cause I had endometriosis was one of my like diagnoses. And it, they said that my tubes were, um, like kinky kind of, so like I had like tissue wrapped around them and it could be like restricting my ability to get pregnant. And um, so, you know, deciding to go and invest in that.
Personally and, and do that, that was a major, major shift for me because I remember talking to my IVF doctor about it, who I love and would honestly send people to like it, you know, it didn’t work for me, but I really think he’s amazing. And I think that he always. Spent a lot of time with my husband and I and treated us, you know, very respectfully, like he listened to us and he would spend a lot of time answering our questions.
And, you know, I think he was really, really great. But that said, when I told him about this, uh, clear passage thing that I was going to do, he practically laughed in my face and was like, Oh, that’s just a bunch of bologna, you know, he was like, he was like, that’s not going to work. Like, he’s like, I swear.
He’s like, they make me so mad. They just take people’s money. You know? And I was like, I had kind of reached this point where I felt because I was really trying to connect with what is right for me, you know? And I think that one, again, this is a little sidetracked, but one of the things I learned about myself is that.
You know, I will oftentimes like talk myself out of things that feel right because I kill it with like rationalism and logic instead of looking at my instinct and my intuition. So like, I was spoken like a woman who’s, who’s learned the fearlessly fertile method. Look at you using words like intuition and looking past logic and reason, educated woman trusting her intuition, right?
Imagine that. I know. I know. And it was like, it was such a breakthrough, you know, it really was. It was because. Yeah. I just knew like intuitively it felt right. Like when I read about it, I was like, this is what my body needs. And but yet, you know, the logical side of myself was like, well, where’s the data?
Where’s the statistics? You know, your doctor saying that it’s nothing, it’s no good. You know? And I still said, you know, I said to my husband after we left that appointment, I was like, I don’t care what he said, you know, I’m doing this and I really, really want to do it. So that was, it’s kind of like a little example of a larger shift for me, you know, going from, you know, sometimes seeing what felt right, but then talking myself out of it.
Wow. That’s a block. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Totally. Totally. That is a block. That is a block. Yes. And another one too, now that I’m thinking about it was not always saying exactly what I want. You know, like I think that part of that, one of the things I’m most grateful for on this journey is that it forced me to get really assertive about what I want and to not defer, you know, to other people, to not defer to experts per se, like really to say, like to take in as much information as possible.
consider it and really assert myself in the decision making process, not to sit back and let somebody tell me, you know, how the whole thing should go. But you know, we got really proactive. And even when we were doing the IVF stuff, just in terms of figuring out what felt right, you know, asking questions about, you know, if we reduce the medication this way, or maybe, you know, the embryos came out that way because of this and just really trying to assert my self into the process.
Not because I thought that I knew more or anything like that, but just trying Be honest and true to what felt like was happening for me. And I think you’re giving yourself a fricking vote. Yeah. Yeah. And in my life, I think too, like I, um, I’m very like kind of a pleaser and very accommodating, always thinking about everybody else in the room before I think about myself.
And I really kind of dropped that, you know, I mean, I really stepped away from trying to make everybody else happy. And thinking that that would make me happy. And instead really starting to ask myself, what do I want? What do I want to do? You know, whether it’s even something as simple as like going and getting coffee with a friend, it’s like I would go into a whole head trip about, well, I haven’t seen the friend in a while.
And if I don’t go out with them, then maybe, you know, They’ll think I don’t care or maybe it’s going to hurt the friendship or this and that instead of just saying Catherine What do you want to do? Do you want to go for coffee or not? Like that’s it For me that was like a huge revelation and it made me more grounded in myself and it made me more capable of believing in myself because the more that I Asserted myself, the more I saw that it worked, you know, and it worked like, like, because I felt good, you know, and, and then usually it just worked because people would respond to it.
And even if they didn’t respond, you know, in a way that I wanted, it didn’t matter because I felt good about having said what I needed to say. Well, yeah. And you know, here’s a, this is, this is a really important thing to bring out from what you just said. I mean, what you said just a few moments ago is a critical point that I want to make sure that women get.
Yeah. There is nothing more important or powerful than having clarity on this. Yeah. Yeah. Because when you are clear, Catherine, how much more. assertive and, and, you know, how much more leadership can you show on your journey when you can communicate to the people in your bump squad what it is that you want.
Right. It’s so much easier to deal with someone who knows what they want. Then someone who is spinning in fear and freak out can’t make a fucking decision. Yeah. You know, and, and this is why, I mean, this is why it is very obvious to me why you’re successful. We haven’t gotten to that part of your story yet, but it’s very obvious to me.
And I want every woman listening to notice what you said and the way that you said it. Is you essentially, by having 100 percent clarity of what it is that you want, you can make decisions quicker, you can lead your team with more intelligence, you can speak precisely and concisely about what you want.
It makes everyone that works with you, it makes their jobs so much easier and it’s incredible. It’s a gift to yourself, but it’s also a gift to the members of your bump squad so that Catherine knows what she wants so we can all help her get there. It’s huge. It’s huge. That’s true. Yeah. Yeah. No, it’s really true.
It’s really, really true. Like there’s nothing more true than that. Like, I feel like that. Boils down the essence of the change, you know, that we’re talking about in me, you know, was seeing that transition from other people know how to do this to like me putting together the pieces of the puzzle that created the picture that I knew intuitively, you know, was going to get me where I need to be.
Yeah. Yeah. That’s huge. It’s huge. I bet people are dying to know. I know. Less than a year after we worked together and you’re doing all of these things, making all of these transformations. Yes. So I did all of this stuff and you know, when I, you know, kind of, I didn’t defy my doctor per se, but I did feel like, again, like you encouraging me and, and you know, everyone who works with you to, you know, to be assertive and to really get clear about what you want and do that.
You know, that made me feel empowered to do, you know, the final thing that I think for me was the linchpin and helping me get pregnant. So. It’s ironically though, it’s just like a little side note. So I was scheduled to do my last round of IVF egg retrieval in May and then I was going to do clear passage in June and then do a transfer hopefully in like July.
And what ended up happening was I went in in May to my doctor’s office to, you know, start the process. Like I was, you know, I had menstruated, whatever they’re going to, you know, going in for my first ultrasound. That I was behind on blood work. And they said that I couldn’t do the retrieval because, and, and it was like, I mean, they didn’t admit this, but it was a glitch, I think in their office, like we had scheduled that retrieval, you know, six weeks, eight weeks in advance, they had plenty of time to know that they didn’t have the proper blood work, but basically they needed a certain kind of blood work that would take longer than my cycle would allow for them.
To, you know, do the, the retrieval that menstrual cycle. So I was going to have to wait another month. So first I was really angry, um, you know, and furious at them because I knew that they should have thought about, they should have thought this through and what have you. So, but then I started thinking, well, wait a second, my instinct, the thing that I always wanted was to do this, you know, clear passage physical therapy thing before the retrieval.
Like that was always what I wanted. It just hadn’t. quite worked out scheduling wise. So I had just sort of let it go and then boom, it’s like it came back, you know, they messed up and now I get to do what I want. So it’s perfect. So funny how the universe works. I know, I know. I think about that all the time.
Like I’m like, it was meant to be this way. Like it was just absolutely like I was meant to do this first. So I went and I did that. And that was, you know, like a week long physical therapy thing that really, you know, unblocked a lot of things for me, I think physically. And mentally, it was really powerful.
And then. After, like, not even a full menstrual cycle after that, I was pregnant. Oh my gosh! Okay, wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. And this is pregnant naturally, right? Yes! Oh my gosh! Stop the presses. I, oh my God. This is why I love this story so much. I love your experience so much. Because, you Like, think about how, it just blows my mind, Catherine, how fast you made that transition.
From, from, okay, let’s, let’s, let’s map this out. From depressed to starting this program, taking control of what you thought and believed, taking control of your bump squad, becoming a leader, learning to trust your intuition. Owning what it is that you want, having clarity, being able to communicate it, listening to the universe, knowing in your soul you wanted to do this work before you did another transfer, magically, I say in quotations, they needed blood work and they couldn’t do the, I mean like, look at how this, this all happened in less than a year.
Yeah. It did. Yeah. Yeah. You’re pregnant now. Yeah. Look at that. After also, after being told that all of your embryos were abnormal, right? Oh yeah. And that, you know, I, because of my tubes, I had like far less of a chance statistically of becoming pregnant naturally. And if I did get pregnant naturally, it would be more likely to be a topic, what have you.
You know, all kinds of things that, that I was told that would get in the way I, you know, I could go on and on about the things I was told would get in the way and you know, it happened. Can you believe we’re even having this conversation? Like, no, I can’t, I swear, I’m like, I can’t believe I’m one of Roseanne’s ladies who like made it happen.
And how far along are you today? I am 26 weeks. I’ll be 27 weeks, like in two days, 27 weeks pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. Holy crap. And you were about to say something about the funny thing. Oh, well, yeah, the funny thing is I remember, you know, at the end of that, um, the physical therapy thing I did, I remember saying aloud for the first time, like, I feel like I can be pregnant.
And I just said it and I remember, you know, going to see my therapist and saying to her, like, you know, I feel like I’ve really gotten everything that I can get out of this journey. Like I really feel like I, like I’m ready, you know, I’m just, I’m ready. And, and it was a different kind of ready than like, I must have it, you know, like I need it.
I, I’m like dying for this thing to happen. It was more like, I’m ready. And it’s going to happen when it happens, but I’m ready. And I feel, and I feel like I. I just reached this point where I felt fully capable and that’s when it happened, you know, believable. I mean, I believe it because I see it all the time, but it’s like, it’s just incredible.
And he happened seriously. Like this experience that you’ve shared. I mean, if, if, if women. Just listen to this and really let it sink in like you empowered yourself in such a short period of time to overcome so many things, so many obstacles, so much, you know, doubt and so much, so many challenges of your own and look at you now.
Look at you, like you’re within 13 weeks of having your baby and so what is it that you would want women listening to this to know? I mean, other than the, the lessons that you’ve shared, you know, so far through, you know, sharing your story. Like, if you could shout something from the rooftops, what would you be shouting to them?
I think like, You know, your mind is always going to try and get in the way if you just continue to tune into the voices that are really like, if you just believe in yourself, like, I know that that sounds so contrived, but it’s like, if you just really know that you are on a path toward finding your baby, and if you stay open to the things that come up as opportunities to help you get there.
You will get there like nothing that I did is special or unique. It’s just getting in touch with what was inside of me and anyone who is listening to this has the same thing inside of them because they would not be listening to this if they didn’t. So it’s there, like I know that it’s there and it’s just really connecting, you know, really connecting.
And I think too, like I never let go of wanting to have a kid of course, but I always tried to remember what you said about, I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I know my baby is coming. Oh. And. You know, just really repeating that to myself that I’m meant to be a mom and I don’t know when and I don’t know how my baby is coming, but I’m meant to be a mom and I would always say to myself, like, all I can do is do whatever I know is in my hands.
To make it possible. And the rest I have to just let it go, you know, I, I just, and that was a lot, you know, I was doing a lot, but like, I think that kind of like surrendering to that in a way and knowing, like, I’m doing everything, I would say that to myself, but I’m doing everything I can to create the potential for my baby to come and then being good with that, you know, and saying that to myself over and over, like I am doing everything I can to create the potential for my baby to come.
That’s so beautiful. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, and it’s just amazing because again, this is like so many, so many of the things that you shared and I mean, you’re living proof of, look, when you take control of you, all of this is possible. It’s, it’s, this is why this work is foundational, because you had to become the woman who succeeded before you succeeded.
You’re just another example. Absolutely. People hear me shouting that all the time, but it’s like, but you’re demonstrating what that means. You had to believe and you had to do all of the internal work in order for you to see the outside manifestation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it’s totally true. There’s no other way about it.
I mean, that’s, that was absolutely 100 percent the key. You know, it w it’s the internal work cause it’s the internal work that drove the external work and that drove it in a way that was like felt right. Like I think there’s external work I could have done, but if I was resentful of it or felt, you know, constrained by it, it may not have even had the same effect.
You know? So I think a lot of it was like the mentality that I had, which I got, you know, from doing the work that you taught me, um, was the, I don’t know, it just, it was about that positivity and believing. I mean, I have the list like from the workshop where you list like 10 of your successes, you know?
And I still have it hanging in my bathroom and I still look at it because you know, sometimes I need to remind myself, like. You know, this is happening. This is real. And it’s, you know, it’s all good. And, and I look at that list and it’s just, it’s reminding yourself, you know, that you have that capacity for success.
And I feel like I just lost my train of thought, but that’s pregnancy brain, that’s pregnancy brain like sneaking in, but oh man, Catherine, I am just so happy and so honored and just delighted. That you have been so generous to share your story, to share your experience with literally women all over the world, from United States to UK, all over Europe, Middle East.
I mean, it’s just Asia, Australia, New Zealand, like it’s just incredible the impact that a woman can have on her journey. When she leverages the most important resource she has and that’s her mind. Absolutely. Absolutely Thank you so much for being with us. Thank you Thank you so much You celebrating your baby, and we just ah just can’t get enough of it.
So thank you so much for being with us Thank you. Thank you. It’s an honor really Oh my God, loves, wasn’t Catherine’s story just phenomenal? I hope that her story and everything she overcame to get to this place in her life where her baby is on the way, 27 weeks pregnant. By the time you hear this, she’s farther along than that.
But just take in all of that goodness. I hope you can see that regardless of what obstacles appear to be in your way, When you are the woman who thinks and believes as well as takes action, like a woman who succeeds on this journey, you can make even the seemingly impossible possible. Loves, if you want to learn the method that Catherine did, my fearlessly fertile method, this is your chance to apply to be part of that revolutionary program.
Go to www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and request your breakthrough session there with me. Apply to be part of the exact program that has changed the lives of women all over the world who are living this journey. This program is only for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months. And if that’s you.
Sister, we need to talk. You have the opportunity to move past the blocks that are standing between you and your baby. You’ve got to cover your bases so you can look back on this time in your life with zero regret. Go to www.FromMaybeToBaby.com to submit your application for time with me. Let’s talk about your journey and see if this program is a great fit.
There are only a few spaces left for 2019. The time for you to apply for your interview is now. Till next time my darlings, change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of The Fearlessly Fertile Podcast. Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.
When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.